Eliska

I was suicidal 3 years ago, derealising hard, my life had no more sense. I thought all the sounds I had will never go away. Well they all did except a very faint ringing that I am at peace with because I once hear it before T onset, just didnt know it was T, and I was like what ? Really ? It's just with me and I dont care, and sometime i hear silence and dont care either... that's how much i have been better

@Gabriel how far along were you when tones/sounds started actually fading/going away?

I had better 3 months after but then in 5 months I had a nother crisis that lasted like 2 months, then I was feeling quite good for month but still thinking q bit about it, less and less, until I forgot about it. Took me one year all in. Then my life was just good, then very good, travel, friends, sex, fun. Living.

Big step forward regarding H and reactivity was vacation and all activities there. Like plain, boat trips, sea, city streets, country trip in the car...all quite noisy activities, but I gradually became more comfortable around noises as I was not constantly thinking about T (however still with earmuffs on a boat for example) Also many natural sounds loud enough could mask it then, which brought me big relief.

Regarding my neck - I had examination on some balance platform and it shoved that my cervical spine is blocked. I was sent to physical therapy and they indeed confirmed that I have one misaligned vertebra and muscle spasms.
But I think its more like phatological loop - I got T - it causes me stress - that causes muscle spasms - that leads to cervical issues - that causes more T and more stress.

Fingers crossed for your consultation! I wish they will offer you some solution with brings you relief.

I pray it works for you. Be patient and kind with yourself. Remember this is a brutally slow process. Two steps forward. One back. Sometimes the reverse.

Slowly better. Im glad that I started with it, because it helps me to calm down. I also spent nice weekend with family in the woods, which was so soothing for my soul. All this is slowly getting me out of "fligh or fight" mode.
How are you doing?

Also spent the weekend in the woods with family. Mornings are always my biggest hurdle anymore. The quicker I activate the less time I spend dwelling on what I can't control. (Aka T) I've been clear of fight or flight for some time but it often feels like I'm on razors edge. T maintenance can be challenging. I hope you are doing well today.

I can relate and understand ((hugs)). I love your avatar which I agree and believe with.

thank you, I wanted something positive here, something what reminds me that things can have deeper meaning.

@Joe Cuber it actually does something. I had 7th session today. I think T is reduced somehow in the silence, but reactivity to every sound makes it louder. And event though I sleep about 3-4h/night Im not as tired as I would be before.

Thank you for a support. I really hope it will get better soon, Im not that strong to cope with this for months, years... this forum helps me mentaly a lot.

you are probably stronger than you think Eliska. In the beginnning its normal to feel this way even if it is terrible. Keep doing what keeps you stable and reach out if needed. you deserve the help and you are not alone. There are alot of people here who can also help dont forget that. Im waiting for your recovery.