Pinhead
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May 20, 2024 at 9:14 PM
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Pinhead

Member, Male, from USA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOC35uVlQ7U Lyrics. May 18, 2024 at 12:04 AM

Pinhead was last seen:
May 20, 2024 at 9:14 PM
    1. Pinhead
      1. tpj and weehiru like this.
      2. weehiru
        weehiru
        Trent Reznor's lyrics always manage to capture my emotions so viscerally!
        May 18, 2024 at 1:08 AM
        tpj likes this.
      3. BlueMoon86
        BlueMoon86
        NiN are my favourite band of all time. It hurts to know I'll never experience their music in all it's glory again.
        May 18, 2024 at 2:32 AM
        weehiru, tpj and Juliane like this.
      4. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        I’m not a huge fan, but he wrote this song specifically about his struggle with tinnitus. It’s very relatable.
        May 20, 2024 at 1:31 PM
    2. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      My prediction: There will be a connection in the future between tinnitus and the heavy presence of COVID-19 in the trigeminal ganglion.
      1. gameover, Juliane and weehiru like this.
    3. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Had a complete and total mental breakdown this morning. My main tone increased in volume many times over.
      1. gameover, L along the way and Higo like this.
      2. Higo
        Higo
        Sorry to hear :( hopefully it's only a temporary increase. Hope it gets better soon.
        May 17, 2024 at 6:46 PM
        gameover and L along the way like this.
    4. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      "What does it mean to be alive except to court disaster and suffering at every moment?"
      1. _Shoto_ and L along the way like this.
    5. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Almost told my Lyft driver to pull over and drop me off on the highway. The tires on the road just make my ringing unbearable.
      1. BlueMoon86 likes this.
      2. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        You don't wanna be out of your car on the side of the highway. Trust me. Been there. Done that. Paid the price.
        May 15, 2024 at 3:15 PM
        tpj, SilverFox and Pinhead like this.
      3. BlueMoon86
        BlueMoon86
        My tinnitus isn't generally reactive to noise as much as it is my own body movement but being in a car is a horrendous experience.
        May 15, 2024 at 4:15 PM
    6. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Reaching the end. I can hear it in the shower now. There is no peace for me now.
      1. L along the way, BB23 and gameover like this.
      2. gameover
        gameover
        Hear in the shower? Been this way for me for at least 6 months. I had days where I wasn't sure if I can hear the shower.
        May 15, 2024 at 3:54 AM
      3. BlueMoon86
        BlueMoon86
        I heard mine over the shower from the very beginning. Completely different low pitch. My collection of multiple overlapping sound videos are no longer working tho.
        May 15, 2024 at 4:16 PM
        gameover likes this.
    7. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      My office mate just had temporary tinnitus in both ears as we sat together. I looked him in the eyes and said, "Now imagine that...forever."
      1. Angieuurope, Kiyomi, Ngo13 and 2 others like this.
      2. BlueMoon86
        BlueMoon86
        I had to give up my job of working with dogs (80db+ environment) to do something from home but one of the delivery guys said a similar thing. He told me he has tinnitus in one ear and has for nearly a year. "It's annoying" he said, "but I just turn up the rain sounds or music a bit and I don't hear it". I said "imagine being deaf in the ear and having it be vacuum cleaner loud".
        May 13, 2024
        Pinhead likes this.
    8. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Came to work and my boss said it looks like someone "punched me in the face". Sinus infection in full swing.
      1. Kiyomi likes this.
    9. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Hopefully this is just a spike. I can't sleep. I can't hear the TV. I have to blast cover noise at 85db to drown it out. Help.
      1. aab, L along the way and gameover like this.
      2. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        Change up your masking maybe. Some tones cover at much lower dbs. Try..
        May 13, 2024
      3. BrOKeN_1
      4. BrOKeN_1
        May 13, 2024
    10. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Girlfriend went to a sauna today. Sitting in a boiling hot quiet room sounds like actual hell.
      1. gameover and SamRosemary like this.
      2. SamRosemary
        SamRosemary
        I’ve heard it could be good for T though.
        May 13, 2024
        gameover likes this.
      3. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        Maybe. I can barely walk down the street, though. Don’t want to risk it. I wouldn’t have any fun.
        May 13, 2024
        gameover likes this.
    11. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Three new tones and muffled hearing because of this infection. Never leaving my house again.
      1. BB23 likes this.
    12. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Cool. I have a fever and some kind of pimple IN MY EAR CANAL.
      1. Daniel Lion likes this.
      2. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        This will probably increase my tinnitus dramatically. This is hell.
        May 9, 2024
    13. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Just spent a bunch of money on a turntable setup I can’t even listen to.
      1. Thizzle
        Thizzle
        I feel you on that one
        May 8, 2024
        Pinhead likes this.
    14. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      When you are catastrophically disabled, there is no time for self-improvement or enjoyment. There is only survival.
      1. tpj, Sansa, streifzug and 3 others like this.
    15. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      I seem to have more SBUTTs when I eat better, take vitamins, and exercise. What the hell!?!?
      1. gameover likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Thizzle
        Thizzle
        Would a SBUTT be considered just a fleeting T episode?
        May 8, 2024
        Pinhead likes this.
      4. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        Yes.
        May 9, 2024
      5. Thizzle
        Thizzle
        I had a crazy one the other night in my left ear and had a sensation go to my right ear, my left ear sounded like it went deaf for a couple seconds , definitely hope it never happens again
        May 9, 2024
    16. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Two temporary tinnitus episodes in two hours. Help!! I don’t want it to become permanent! No more tones!
      1. weehiru, beefling, SilverFox and 2 others like this.
    17. Cata
      Cata
      Hi, I'm taking the liberty of writing to you here. I saw one of your posts where you said you had no trouble sleeping. Do you have loud tinnitus with horrible tones? How does your brain manage to ignore this and get a good night's sleep???
      1. L along the way likes this.
      2. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        It is honestly a total mystery. It's almost like I 'black out'. I don't usually remember coming close to sleep.

        I think my brain is just happy to finally turn off. I usually have water noises playing and a very loud air conditioner as well, but neither of those cover the noise in my skull.
        May 6, 2024
        L along the way likes this.
    18. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      A friend came to visit today and his laugh peaked at over 100 decibels multiple times. I’m fucked. I’ll have hyperacusis by tomorrow.
      1. streifzug, Juliane and gameover like this.
      2. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        It makes me viscerally angry every time he laughs. It's so loud that my other friends cover their ears.
        It's obnoxious, and deep down I envy his ability to enjoy life. I can no longer feel anything close to that.
        May 7, 2024
        Juliane likes this.
    19. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      I honestly feel like I am in a permanent state of psychosis. I can’t tell which sounds are real anymore.
      1. SilverFox and gameover like this.
      2. JeffToob
        JeffToob
        I relate. It's blaring, constant and intrusive. Used to think it was music i missed the most. Now it's silence I miss.
        May 3, 2024
        Juliane, SilverFox and gameover like this.
      3. Karolina
        Karolina
        Me too. My dysacusis got really really bad lately, I often cannot differentiate between my tinnitus and distorted external sounds
        May 4, 2024
        Pinhead likes this.
    20. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      I'm blown away by how my brain can push most noise to the background, seemingly in FAVOR of concentrating on my tinnitus instead. What? Why?
      1. gameover, kingsfan and Sansa like this.
      2. kingsfan
        kingsfan
        I have never been able to push any noise or distraction to the background. This is the crux of the issue with my T.
        May 3, 2024
        Juliane and gameover like this.
    21. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      I miss books. I miss reading and being able to talk about what I've read. God, this is so isolating.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        I mean, for most of my life, I sat in quiet and read. Years of philosophical research to work towards my PhD. So many worlds I made in my mind through fantasy and sci-fi literature, and I can't imagine a single image now. It's an empty space between my two ears.
        May 2, 2024
        SilverFox and BrOKeN_1 like this.
      3. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        I feel very much the same way a good deal of the time if not most. The focus toward the the ringing and obsessive monitoring of this condition seems to paralysis free thought. Weirdly enough I think I do it to myself though. Because even while I find it difficult to concentrate. I can ironically sit here and read threads from tinnitus talk all day.
        May 2, 2024
      4. Ngo13
        Ngo13
        I found the only way I was able to read for awhile was in a hot Epsom salt bath with my violet noise mix playing. Sometimes a candle. Now I still read in the bath best but I'm able to do it in quiet. I read mostly fantasy, so it's my escapism and it's one of the only times I don't "hear" my T.
        May 3, 2024
    22. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Beyond tired of the "You'll get through this" attitude of people around me. It's been three years-YOU get over it.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Pinhead
        Pinhead
        At this point, it's like asking me to get over the fact that I have legs and stop walking everywhere. It's absurd and pretty annoying.
        Apr 30, 2024
        BrOKeN_1 likes this.
      3. BrOKeN_1
        BrOKeN_1
        I feel ya. Sorry you don't have more sympathetic people around.
        Apr 30, 2024
        Pinhead likes this.
      4. 4Grace
        4Grace
        So sorry. So true. 3 years. I can’t believe it’s been around 15 months for me. Can’t wait at 18 months I should be fully habituated. :)
        May 1, 2024
        Pinhead and BrOKeN_1 like this.
    23. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      The fluctuating squeal in my right ear is really the worst thing. It's just unbearable. I can totally ignore the pure tones.
      1. 4Grace, Sansa and gameover like this.
    24. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      I just want to live. I wish, at least, that I could live while I am alive.
      1. crescentsky, 4Grace, Sansa and 3 others like this.
    25. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Does anyone remember the Twilight Zone episode where the man breaks his glasses but loves to read? That's what this life feels like.
      1. 4Grace, gameover, tpj and 2 others like this.
      2. RunningMan
        RunningMan
        Apr 24, 2024
        4Grace, Pinhead and gameover like this.
    26. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      I just found out that a coworker has a friend who is housebound with tinnitus. It became progressively worse.
      1. 4Grace, gameover and RunningMan like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @gameover one guy told me. How loud is going to get. It’s not going to make my head explode. He says after 3 years he just lives. Eats and endures the major spikes. They say that it’s insuring the spikes that leads to habitation.
        Apr 25, 2024
        gameover likes this.
      4. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @gameover I find it hard to accept that my friends are that much different when I know that they are .. they are not impacted by food or clenching or touching the side of your head. I feel like I’m wrong but I at the same time that I need to learn to eat and go out and let it do what it is going to do…
        Apr 25, 2024
        gameover likes this.
      5. 4Grace
        4Grace
        @gameover / I just don’t have a life that will make me think or live different. This is a problem for me. I cut everything out of my life. I cannot reinvent my life. This is FN crazy. The stupidity that got me here drives me insane. Sorry for all the typos and grammar errors. I waiting to see an ENT. Another waist of time!!
        Apr 25, 2024
        gameover likes this.
    27. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      It's such a terrible thing. It's like waking up to find yourself weak and naked again about to be enveloped in a cocoon of cold steel nails.
      1. tpj, gameover, 4Grace and 2 others like this.
    28. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Woke up today to find my sleeping sounds had turned off overnight. I listened as, slowly, my mind was invaded by hissing and screeching.
      1. gameover, 4Grace, Sansa and 1 other person like this.
      2. BlueMoon86
        BlueMoon86
        I know this feeling well. One day in December I woke up and it was so quiet I thought it had gone. I had to listen for several minutes to find it. Those days are well and truly gone, it's 10/10 24/7 now.
        Apr 23, 2024
        4Grace and gameover like this.
    29. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Three years and one day.
      1. gameover likes this.
      2. SamRosemary
        SamRosemary
        :| sorry
        Apr 22, 2024
    30. Pinhead
      Pinhead
      Three years ago today, my life shifted catastrophically. Nothing will ever be the same.
      1. weehiru, 4Grace, tpj and 3 others like this.
      2. 4Grace
        4Grace
        This is so true. I feel like an Alien on this planet. I was so happy. I try so hard not to give a shit about this noise. It consumes me beyond words. It’s just to loud and worsens. I have not been able to enjoy anything. The last few days 24/7 stress. Trying so hard.
        Apr 22, 2024
        Pinhead likes this.
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Occupation:
    Nonprofit
    Tinnitus Since:
    04/2021
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    Unknown
    "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world ... and its sound is like razors through flesh."