What Should I Do About My Family? They Don't Understand What I'm Going Through

In September suffered from Mild Tinnitus because of a cold.

In December saw an ENT who stated I
had no hearing loss.

January tinnitus faded in right ear.

February tinnitus faded in left ear.

February decided to take Sarcosine after MRI because of ringing in left ear.

March Stop Sarcosine ringing in left disappeared but left with high static.

April Confirmed to have hearing loss at high ranges.

As I say that is it for me.

Before I could make it through the day by watching TV and going to the movies.

Now I have nothing.

 

How much hearing loss are you suffering from? Mild in high ranges and such. Problem with speech in noisy places? It seems like this is a very fresh onset for you.

 

Mild in high ranges.
Assymetrical hearing across all frequencies.
Webber test confirms.

 

Do you think it will improve since it has before. Or are you just spent and no longer want to find out, because of your shitty support system.

 

The first one improved because it was nothing more than a ruptured ear drum.

This one will not disappear as it is caused by hearing loss as a result of a shitty support system.

 

It could still improve possibly even with the hearing loss. I'm sorry for your shitty support system. I wish there was something more I could do to help, as I know that you feel like your family is digging your grave and putting you in it.

 

Nope.

They dug it and they do not have the onus to admit it.

They simply ignore the fact each time by whistling or stating "we did not force you to take the drug".

They are missing the huge picture where they created an environment where I could not thrive and felt the need to take the drug.

Originally, the idea was to avoid the mess because I saw that it would lead to this situation.

Playing with a person's environment and uprooting them puts them at chance of engaging in risky behaviour.

They state that they took me to my appointments and the GP.

But yet again they did nothing personally to help the situation.

They did not even lookup the condition on the forums or did they read any of the information I printed.

 

@Fortuna117 keep fighting, don't give up.

 

Are you comfortable posting your audiogram here? (blank out any personal info)

 

I have already posted the audiogram:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...-hearing-test-results.7623/page-7#post-426119

I do not have the other audiogram but the Audiologist confirms it is high frequency hearing loss.

I would not worry too much about the dip as other audiograms do not show it.

The Webber test also confirms hearing loss.

 

There is no two ways about it either I found hell of a coping method or I'll end up in paradise.

 

Dude, Lenire is like 1-3 months away. 3000 euro and there's a high chance that you'll get significantly better.
Why are you trying to overdose on oxy if possible treatment is less than 100 days away?

 

Given that my ear clicks and I have pulsatile tinnitus Lenire is unlikely to fix everything.

 

I copped the "underlying condition" spiel from my ENT after I told him clearly that it was caused by a blast to my ear. I think they're out of touch, these people, especially in their futile efforts to "cover all bases" before proceeding with a diagnosis or treatment plan. Often you just need to believe that the patient knows what they're talking about in some cases.

 

My friend. I am sorry that you are having trouble with your family. If it helps any, you have a family here.

 

I'm sorry that your family is so unsupportive. I can relate. My husband doesn't believe in my tinnitus. I consider this a type of "gas-lighting." Because tinnitus cannot be proven, other people can choose not to believe in it. It's bad enough to be living in this nightmare of sound without having the people who are supposed to be your support-system telling you it's not real!

 

Worst situation I have experienced is with a psychiatrist who stated I might be Asperger's.

Despite explaining:

I was popular in high school being friends with at least 16 out of the 25 people in our class.

That I was voted class vice President in high school.

That my closet mates and me would often go to trips to Dreamworld, wet and wild, jambaroo, and my holiday house.

That each time my friends invited a girl for them to hook up with that girl would end up hooking up with me.

That many of my relationships ended when a girl ended moving to another state or school.

The worst case of breakup was when
my girlfriendheated on me with a girl.

That I lost contact with a lot of my friends when I moved interstate for University.

He focused on:

My unusual fixation on facts such as there is not actual 24 hours in a day or that there is more than one moon that orbits earth and my unusual fixation on mentalism.

Both of which I use to break the ice and get girls number's.

That I found enjoy examine inconsistencies of the brain because I studied science.

None of these reasons is why he wanted to class me as Asperger's.

He reasoned I had an over stimulus to noise.

Because I was covering my ears due to him typing loudly on his keyboard.

I asked him to type softly.

I swear his was trying to break his keyboard with his typing.

He thought this was an overstimulation and overreaction.

I swear doctors are have no clue when it comes to hyperacusis.


The worst part is when he was trying to push antidepressants onto me and I asked for a sedative instead he stated "you going to have be open to negotiation and only take these antidepressants I prescribe".

That doctor was a tool.

 

Unfortunately you are going to have to accept that you may have little control over this. If I was you, I'd just explain it to them. Tell them what sucks about your condition. Asking them to read a post or two on the forum that describe how you feel might work. Hope this helps.

 

@Fortuna117
He does sound like a tool. You know who also has unusual interests: intelligent people. If you were fixated on football or celebrities he would have thought you were normal.

 

I literally stated I have hyperacusis could you not type so loud (only doctor I have asked not to type loudly).

He instantly started asking me questions about autism.

Quarter of the way through the questions:
"do you have friends". Yes.
"are you fixated on anything" QI/facts.

I said dude I do not have Asperger's.

 

Unfortunate, for this is the end of the road.

Sitting in a Bath full of salt and working up the courage to throw a toaster into the water.

I have no idea if there is a after life and do not really care.

My ears were prized possession and it was taken away from me.

So either I do not care.

I would like to thank everyone on this forum and hate the fact that I did not seek help sooner.

I wish everyone the best of luck with this dreadful disease and maybe one day there will be a cure.

But missing 10-30 years of my life just to found out is not worth it.

 

Don't do it...

 

Sorry, but I see no difference dying at the of 26 and dying at the 80 being tortured all my life.

The reason people keep themselves around is the biology to survive and procreate.

I will not care if I am dead at 26 or 80.

By the way the bath tab experiment failed.

If you say but a cure is around the corner that is just an assumption and is most likely wrong.


As I see it:
(A) I can kill myself now. If nothing is after death I will not know if I died at 80 or 26.
(B) I can kill myself now and there being an afterlife or I get reincarnated.
(C) I can live and be tortured for the next 80 years as no cure is invented.
(D) I can live and wait 20 years for a cure to be invented. But, at that time my life has been wasted.
(E) I can live shit life and put up with the tinnitus and might never enjoy a moment of happiness again.

Stop letting the fear of death run your life.

 

You don’t have to apologise, the doctor sounded like a d***. It would be nice if you could’ve adopted by people who are more sympathetic and want to understand your condition rather than people who don’t want to understand because it it too much of a problem for them to deal with your situation.

 

@Fortuna117
I have thoughts like that too. I've struggled with them my whole life even before tinnitus. The trick to living with this impulse is procrastination. I've been postponing the inevitable for decades.

 

I want to believe in other different option that has not been mentioned:

(F) I can live these days with this torture but in the near-middle future, such torture will be LESS torture due to some degree of healing and habituation, even it will become not a torture anymore. Besides, there is hope in science that could help us in the middle of the way.

Brain was supossed not to heal and now it is known that brain has some degree of healing. You can see in people with nervous system injuries. Why inner ear is not the same? Maybe if we care it as maximum from noises, eat a good diet and sleep 9 hours a day, and detox from all medicines and drugs...why can't inner ear heal at some degree?

Please, you don't know for sure if this torture is not going to end or to improve. But you know for sure that death is NOT REVERSIBLE. What about if you die and some months or years later tinnitus hadn't be a torture for you?

Peace, hope and health for all.

Regards.

 

Should be interested cocktail if anyone is interested:

Whole bottle of Benadryl.
5mg of Pheneran (cannot get myself).
30 Standard drinks.

 

I feel like you but I don't know how.

It's a nightmare. It's as if it's not real. My tinnitus became worse and I have ear problems including hyperacusis. If I use ear plugs or muffs, I get painful ears. They make noises at times, too.

I live in a loud area and have little family left. I am scared of death and ending up crippled or more disabled or I would have tried already.

 

My mother lost her shit when she could not find my glasses or keys.

Calling me a retard, yelling at me and when she finally found the keys throw them at me.

She tells me on a daily basis that I am not a normal person.

I told her she is OCD and that she can only focus on her task at hand.

I told her this is exactly what happened with the tinnitus, how she only cared about the small stuff and the unimportant stuff.

She literally has the balls to call me the abusive one.

Get real.

 

Is her behavior new? I wonder if she has psychological issues going on. It could be about herself or a way of denying your health issues? I sadly think she won't change unless someone else talks to her and figures out what is going on in her head.

That is no way to treat a child especially when they have a serious health issue in which they are suffering. I am sorry you are going through that.