Tinnitus Veteran Back to Hell

Well here is my story in brief.

The Original Tinnitus (Mod - Severe level)
10 years ago...age 26, clubbing in Falaraki. One particular club had the speaker on at extreame volume, mainly to play music some 20 metres into the street. Friend of mine alway shouting in my right ear. Always on x10 red bulls a night (so extreamly wired). Further had a abycess that burst one night (so possible nerve connection, given main T is on the same side, maybe not, let not dwell on that just yet).

Anyway usual story, woke in the morning, extreame tinnitus way beyond normal clubbing levels. Immediately went outwide to loud pool area. Couldnt mask it. Came home. Thought it would go, never did. Level was above general day to day chat, the sound of the sea, nature sounds will not wipe it out. Didnt panic at this stage.

Had GP look at it, referred to Lewisham Hospital for audio tests etc. At the end, post an MRI, recall the doctor stating "good news, there is no signs of cancer" which was great, but I never actually considered that. When asking about the God forsaken ringing, the doctor looked shocked and went "oh, yes you will have to live with it". Zero treatment offered except a gigantic hearing aid.

Anyway, at the time, I reacall poking ears every miutet, rubbing in deep heat (no idea why), hitting it. TO be honest dont want to recall that time as at 26, city job, having to study. Bad times.

Somehow, and really have no clue now how, nor even how long, I "habituated". A word ive only just become familiar with. In hindsight, wow, 10 years on, married, daughter, job. I try now to think back (as its hard now). When asked to listen to something quiet - , I couldnt, loud T was ringing like a trooper. Watching the TV, it was there for sure. But!?!? clearly I was not aware of it at work. Even watching a DVD or something. I never knew that I had. But it was essentially in the sub consious. I even went to loud clubs again, without a care, and never really felt it. IT WAS THERE> But never enjoyed the fact I had pushed it back, as I think if I thought of it, boom it would come back.

Ok December 2014....
Now WHAT A REPALSE. Another word I never really read about. 10 years on I had never been to the dentist (not been to one since). I had connected the old root canal work (following the abycess on holiday) as a potential connection, to the now confirmed sound damage, but heavy T... .

Dental work, another root canal. 1 hour + work done. heavy drilling No issue....
Went back 2 weeks later, more work on one root. Crown on. Wisdom Tooth pulled. teeth.... (which again was same side as the heavier T (both ears have it), right next to, the abycess issue). He also used high freqeuncy cleaner on the front teeth. That really was loud.... 24 hours later BOOM. Woke up. Serious high T in same damaged ear. Immediate panic, of course the brain connects "OMG" to the noise. And the cycle of doom

Is it louder? Ive no idea. It really really feels it. But maybe it was always this bad originally 10 year sback and "snap" something has occurred (stress of dentist?) but my brain has attached fear to the noise (due to freak out that it was bad before and if worse.... etc)

Days after. No sleep. Sheer fear. Panic. The bad cycle. Broke down twice. Smashed a few things in anger.
Week later, trying to put it down to nerve swelling around bad ear some connection etc to hope it will calm.
Week after, still not lower, more stress, fear, T feeding on every piece of it. Christmas, nice quiet 9 days in the house....exactly what I didnt need. Tried to ignore it.

Before xmas went to new GP, immediate Xanax subscription given my state. Havent taken, read about sides, will use as final panic button.

Went to London Bridge - David Bowdler - ENT specilist with "tinnitus". Private BUPA no cover so went net. New audiological test, same seveve hearing damage, good upto 4000hrtz then giant dips etc etc. Offered "reassurance" that given, I had it ignored it before, I could somehow do that again...cost £200 for the "reassurance" and £125 for the test, that was the same as Lewisham (but actually I cant compre the two to see if more damage has been done by say... the cleaning tool the dentist used which hits 12000 to 15000 hrtz. Given they didnt compare the historical)

4 weeks on, still nothing. I can hear it over all work noise (which is an office but loud) over any conversation, train, tube, cant concentrate on TV, anything. Thus at work, in a meeting room - I cant actually focus. Back home, quiet house etc

Introducing myself as this website has been helpful. Read about many "relapses" which has calmed me. I have it bad, but some have it worse. My mate who emigrated to Australia, has terminal cancer. I dont.
Saying that is a bit flippant... as you all know, this mental challange is pure hell given NO ONE who doesnt have it, can possibly understand. My wife states "I have bad eyesight you dont see me complain". Ganted she really does. But how much would i swap that for T. Given she can put a pair of glasses on, and cured. I cant stick in new ears.

In my sheer panic state I have gone back to the panic methods of trying everything. Which I will eventully stop, even throw away everything, and try and "habituate". But thats

Bio Flavnoids (seems it better for infected / blood issues vs pure noise and nerve damage)
Vinpocetine (the blood flow to brain one. Didnt help, made me way to odizzy in the gym, reduced blood pressure. I work out x5 days a week so with ample blood flow this messed me up)
Ginko - pssh
Wobenzym N - x30 pills a day. Clearly this is for 24 hour post trama type, reduce swelling. But heck tried it.
Bromellin (spelling?) similar to above but did nothing.
Add x5 other things here

Already on ZMA (Zinc and Magnesium)
And due to gym supps vit B etc all good....

As mentioned health wise, min x5 gym. Eat well. Low cholesterol. Dont smoke. Low caffiene intake. All things that ive done that has probable helped push my old T down to back of mind.

Now.... hell.... fear that this volume HAS to come down. ASAP. I check sound. Every single minute, im thinking of it. Mental rest, zero. Even no wwhen someone is chatting to me.

Right now focusing on vagus nerve science....well as in well reading about it. All the new solutions for strokes, epilesy, fat!? (FDA approved it for fat reduction). So heres hoping sending electric shocks down your spine while listening to beeps works.... But to keep sanity I have

1) Downloaded General Fuzz web app. The Neurostimulation noises. Big thanks, its at the very least acting as a masker for now.

2) Ordered the headphones that transmit sound though the bone. Not the ear. Why? Firstly, like the £4500 Neurostimulator headphones, I can hear the outside world. Thus still try and habituate to normal sounds. Hence I can still hear people, have noise or the threatment while watching TV. Being via the bone it should hopefully not disturb others (as not actual noise). When not using it for the beeping tunes, I can try and have a masker etc, but still have open ears. No sweaty headphones or crushed ear drums. I cant use it at work, as would look a prat. May have to though if it doesnt calm (really feels like someone has severed my nervous system)

Another reason is I believe the vibrations form the dentist, and before, the huge sound vibration is mainly to blame. Given my ear drum didnt burst, my mates didnt get what I had... so pure vibrations of the sound may... MAY (doubt it)... help vibrate the cochlea directly, and thus stimulate more the nerves around my JAW and GUMS that clearly have some connection to the vagus nerve....
I certainly want to try and reprogramme my dam brain to no longer here this electronic constant buzz+fuzz (mix of junk, which trying to find frequency, hard as hell, I think it is at the peak of hearing loss. "hearing loss" being actually the tinnitus sound that masks real sound which the GP tells me is hearing loss.
3) Not sure why I did a list there is no 3

But heck, its a self made DIY beeping system but maybe the £4500 is also (acoustic is.... well noise). My tone is varied. I can see me doing this for a while, then going panic again. Worst thing is even if I work out at the gym... ears get worse. As do do weights, you need to get a bit angry, you want to generate some adrenaline, and boom. Fight or flight, ears go mental.

Anyway mentally a bit better. Sleeping more. So im out the pure hell hole. No suicide watch. But can I actually habituate again? Is it louder? (it really must be> but cant recall any more thinking back when I had it). Can I actually workmy job..... without googling some tinnitus related topic. Will I stop going to the loo every 10 minutes to blow my nose and pop my ear drum (I have zero conjestion just I keep doing it as some bad routine I have).

Im on that wire, which the bad side, I will lose job, wife, and literally go insane. 10 years on.... an there is still nothing viable out there. And the GP still gives me "reassurance" as a treatment (Which I add sent me into more a panic... did the opposite)

Thanks for the website, the people posting, as ive read some that have helped. General Fuzz and peoples work on replicating some expensive (and experimental) treatments is great. Hence the reason for joining and posting.

Hoping at the very least the sound via the bone headphones will mean I can at least mask it (to mask I need a very high volume and blue noise. Pink noise does nothing, white very little).



Best
Steve

 

Steve it's awesome how you habituated to t the first time where it sounds like you basically forgot about it. I'm sure you will get there again, you already proved that you can do it.

 

Hard right now. Ive taken the xanax which i was trying to avoid.
Im sure sure sure alot of T is connected to nerve damage. Yes there is loud noise etc but the nerves are key. The fact mine was after a tooth abycess. Then now post the wisdom tooth next door. Ive read from a top dentist that nerves, even on root canal dead teeth, even fragments, can produce impulses to the ganglion nerve...
Further there is a ton of older scientific reports that state stellate ganglion nerve block helped tinnitus and cuted any hearing loss....


So where did it go???

Now Pos tramatic stress, all nerves going into overdrive, anxiety etc after, is being treated via stellate ganglion nerve block. Even one nottingham nhs website states works for tinnitus. Im convinced my teeth, dead nerves, are sending this to my ganglion area that resulst in t...

So backs up nerve and / or teeth link. Even connection to PTSD. So where can we get that simple injection??