Am I Making It Worse by Researching and Posting Here?

Am I making things worse by researching and posting here? I try to focus on other things but I literally cant force my mind away from the Tinnitus. My partner seems to think I can just focus on a book, or a conversation, or a TV show and by doing something else, I will not be thinking about my Tinnitus. I believe this to be false as I have been trying to do exactly that....to focus on something else but I just cant. For example, today we put up the Christmas tree. I love Christmas. But, today we put up the tree (fake of course, coz its hot here), and I just couldnt even focus on that. Now my biggest worry is that I'm going to have a terrible Christmas because I just wont be able to relax. How do you all think of other things. How do you train your mind to focus on other things. How do you not obsess over the Tinnitus. It has stolen my life. I do not care about anyone or anything except for my Tinnius, and I realise that makes me selfish, self centred, and yet I can't stop it. How can I possibly habituate if I think about it all the time, and check it all the time, and research everything all the time. I guess maybe I'm not trying hard enough. But I dont know how to try any harder. Every spare moment I have I think about it and I can't stop the thoughts. They just are there. Ultimately, I am scared that if this is the way it's going to be forever, then I don't want to live. But I DO want to live. I just feel like I haven't been given the choice. My mum says I'm a drama-queen. Possibly!

 

A bit of research is healthy. Get your facts straight before getting all paranoid about all sorts of things.

Unfortunately, she doesn't understand. I think there are videos on youtube that show how it is to live with tinnitus. Play it, see how long she is able to hear what you hear all day. Tho being your mum I don't know if she is better not knowing.

I'm trying mindfulness. It's a form of cognitive therapy.

This is the idea:
They have a website: Mindfulness Based Tinnitus Stress Reduction: Welcome (some science papers are linked there)
Here is a cheap course you can try: Guided Mindfulness Meditation - Learn How to Overcome Stress | Udemy If you have an iPhone you can download to your phone and carry it around.
Another presentation:

Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn

Wikipedia: Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Hard to focus when the problem is that you can't focus, but you can go back to it and improve your practice over time. It's not about training your mind to ignore the sound, it's about (if I got it right) viewing your awareness self as different from the stimulus, call it habituation if you like. If you are new to this malady, habituation is a real hope of improvement, and I hope that this helps with the process.

 

Thank you for your response. I have tried CBT and mindfulness before. I must have some sort of learning disability because I didn't get anything out of it. Physics and Maths degree. Easy as anything. Mindfulness? Nope, don't get it. Sigh! How are you trying to habituate? Just with mindfulness?

 

Hi Neenie, firstly let me say that you are not selfish or self centred, when your life has been turned upside down and inside out like ours has been it´s only natural that yourself is all you can think about!!! so carry on thinking about yourself and listening out for the T because that´s what your going to do anyway, i know people say well if you do that you wont be able to habituate but habituation is a natural progression you won´t be able to stop it, when the brain gets used to the sound of T it will stop paying so much attention to it, i´m not saying that focusing on other things doesn´t help of course it does, but like you i just can´t all i can focus on is this bloody incessant ringing and hissing that goes on all day every day... but today my T is very low and i´m so happy about that, i know at any time today it can and probably will get louder, of course all i´m doing today is listening and listening for the T to increase so i´m focusing my mind on that and that alone, as yet no increase so that tells me by focusing on it and listening for it hasn´t made a blind bit of difference to it, it´s a low T day and that is that, so one day and i think very soon for you this will happen so the more you try and not focus on it the more you will, so go with it at the moment cry all day if that is what you have to do, feel sorry for yourself because i know i do and let the healing process begin. We are all different and our T is very unique to each and every one of us, but the problem is the same as we all row in the same boat. I can´t believe i´m talking like this because it was only Friday that i was scouring the house looking for as many pills and pain killers i could find to end the misery... it´s a true saying what a difference a day makes. I wish you well in your recovery keep me posted how things are going.

 

I'm still starting with mindfulness. I decided to try because it's accepted by science that meditation and mindfulness has a relaxing positive effect on someone's life. I also suffer bruxism so I could benefit from that calming effect. Other people try pilates, yoga, whatever exercise where you have to focus your attention to not fall flat on your ass. That's a way to focus your attention elsewhere and get a break.

Yoga By Equinox

Well, not aiming for perfection, but you get the idea.

Habituation for me happened along years. I still feel anxiety if I wake up at night with a loud T and think I'm getting worse. At night you are emotionally not 100%, same as when you don't sleep. But during the day I have a fairly positive attitude. T is an annoyance, not something scary. I haven't done cognitive therapy either, probably is also helpful.

 

Neenie - you can google effect of meditation on health ..you will find 100s of scientific studies that shows unbelievable results .
From little I know you is that it will make you accepts problems in life ..main effect is our response changes ..you will not get bothered by it.
Meditation is bit tough and you can get very similar effect by breathing exercise ..again google effect of pranayama ( breathing exercise ) on health .it works like Miracle after few months . I went to drweil.com and he also recommends breathing exercise for Tinnitus for relaxation .
I took Art of living by Sri Ravi Shankar course 10 years ago (before my t ) and usesd to practice it almost daily ..May be you can try that.
I know it's easy for me to say do this and do that but I know very well how difficult it is when you have crazy spike ! When I had spike I didn't care about any thing ..just work and home that's it !i was able to enjoy tv and movies at home because I was able to mask it .
Neenie give your self some time ..you will be OK..

 

When the tinnitus sound is very loud, it does seem at first impossible to habituate to it, to be able to concentrate again and sleep well. I have a loud tinnitus myself. I can't say I have fully habituated yet after it aggravated two months ago, I'm still not able to sit in a quiet room. But at least now I'm able to enjoy more moments when I actually forget about it.

It helps me to avoid too quiet places. When I'm walking in the city center, shopping etc. there is so much noise that I entirely forget about my tinnitus. At home I have some background noise, for example nature sounds mp3 or music, that I listen to. When I have a good day, I can focus on reading a book or work without the background sounds. First you might be able to concrete on something for only a couple of hours a day, then you improve. I'm now able to watch TV again without letting the tinnitus disturb me. I hope someday I will get to the point where I can sit or sleep in a quiet room again without the background noise.

You should also try to do something everyday that you enjoy and that takes your thinking away from the tinnitus. Maybe meeting friends, if you like sports that's also good. For example aerobics or dance classes make it impossible for me to think about the tinnitus at the same time.

 

Personally I found the uncertainty the worst thing to deal with in the beginning. What can I do and what can't I do? I was also told to stop being a hyperchondriac and deal with it. There is a certain degree of comfort in better understanding the condition and then knowing how to manage it. If you don't research and ask then you won't know.

The 3 month mark is often quoted as turning point and this seems to be the case for me. The pain has largely subsided, hypercusis is less acute and I can zone out of the ringing more often than before. Just take all the time you need, research all you want and it does get easier.