The Twilight Zone

So I am trying to get some sleep, the usual, two fans a blazing while I listen to my T scream me a serenade to sleep.... and I started to try to get a grip on my T and I remember as a child I use to watch Twilight Zone .. and I realized I had an episode of my own, this is what I came up with:

I awake on the floor of an empty school room, I am in there alone with another man I do not know... we just look at each other , when all of a sudden an alarm bell sounds on the wall. I cover my ears because the noise is so painful, and I try to open the door but can't, I seem to be trapped in this empty room with this screaming alarm.. then it fades back to Rod Sterling giving a narration of what has just happened; "What Piper the Great has just found himself trapped by the consciousness of his own mind, and what he will find out will either make him or break him, the next stop the Twilight Zone !"....

So back to the screaming alarm, I try to pry the protective box covering the alarm off the wall to see if I can stop the alarm, and I pound pull, hit, and tear at this thing relentlessly, making no progress, the harder I try, the louder it gets. The other man just stand their and watches, he seems unaffected by the alarm, and unwilling to help me silence it. There comes a point when I just lose it, I break down and plead with the man for help, asking the man "Why"......"Why is this happening to me!"... the man continues to give his blank stare, .. unsympathetic..... finally I curl up in the corner of the room, and realize I am in my own little hell, that I can only hear.... and after some thought, I stand up and tell the other man, I am not going to let that alarm bother me any more, no matter how loud it gets.... he just turns away from me and walks over and opens the door and steps back.... I walk over to the door and its a very long hall way I can look down, and there is this pin hole of light at the end... I step into the hall and start walking, I can still hear the alarm, but the farther I get from it the more muffled it becomes.....

Well, this is how I feel at times, and just remember its a little story I thought of to visualize my T.. it helps me deal with something I can put into literal terms... and I am by no means a write... just looking to share not looking for grammar critics...

 

I like it. Maybe it could be called 'The Journey'.

 

Ya.. I think T is a journey... it changes you for sure... just hope it ends up making us stronger... there is always something waiting around the next corner, we just never know when...

 

We are always telling ourselves stories about our lives - about who we are, what has happened to us, what other people have done to us, etc. When you harness that tendency for good it can be really powerful in re-framing how we relate to different forces in our lives. I think that coming up with a story that helps you deal with your T better is an awesome coping technique.

 

Totally agree TinnitusGirl.

It's almost like a meditation, putting it into a story and mentally re-enacting the walking away. Visualising yourself being able to deal with the sound and put it out of your mind can help you to stop focusing on it.

 

That's a pretty good story. You should think about writing for Hollywood, god knows they need some decent writers. As far as living in your own personal little hell, I know how you feel, I had enough problems before tinnitus and know that I have that on top of those problems it can be overwhelming. Sometimes I wish I had a time machine.

 

Ah but if you had a time machine you could be caught up in all sorts of paradoxes. You could have met yourself, branched off into a different timeline, accidentally changed the course of history... It could get all kinds of messy.

 

When I first got the T, I had to go to work and sit in meetings that were usually pretty quiet, well to everyone else, I had to sit there wringing my hands out, listening to the scream in my ear.. it took everything I had not to show the emotion going on in my head, I had to become the little unaffected man, and act my way through the day, when all I wanted to do is jump up on the table and say " MAKE THIS FKING NOISE STOP"..... I was always the last one in and the first one out... I always thought of it as my own little hell.......