Some days are better

Thank you so much for your prayers for me. Today is a much better day. Last night my T was blazing so loud that I could hear it over the fan and noise mask... but Praise the LORD I fell asleep. Someone said on here that it's just noise like any other noise and it won't kill you. I am trying to keep that perspective.

I called the ENT that I saw back in 2010...That is when I first got Tinnitus. I could not remember which ear it was that had the ringing. That in itself gives me much hope as I don't even remember which ear had the T in 2010. I rejoice to know that the T in my left ear is the same ear that I had the T back in 2010. I think the spike in my left ear was due to a serious upper respiratory virus that I had back in December that settled into my ears. Which brought on fluid and pressure. I went to the ENT and had surgery in January on my deviated septum and a tube placed in my left ear to relieve the fluid. I had the tube removed 2 weeks later as I could not take the tunnel sounds that it left me with. Ever since the tube was removed the T has been worse. I am not sure if it is because my ear is healing over. I do pray that eventually the T will settle back down or at least I can habituate to it. God is good! He is my strength and my shield. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Thank you for reading and I pray you all have T good day! Tammy

 

"Someone said on here that it's just noise like any other noise and it won't kill you. I am trying to keep that perspective."

This type of thinking will get you to eventual habituation much faster. This is the beginning of how the brain can be reprogrammed to no longer treating tinnitus as a threat. When that happens, it is just a matter of time before the brain will start to tune out this neutral signal and you are home free. With myself, whenever I thought my T was too hard to bear, I told myself it is just an innocent sound generated by misfiring neurons, then I just imagine I am having a job working in very loud environment (drillers, miners, flight attendants etc.). Not a perfect analogy but I could ill afford a perfect analogy. I either accept my loud ultra high pitch T or suffer in misery for the rest of my life. If people can accept these loud sounds working happily for life for wages, I would accept my T just so I can have my good life back. No more 'All or Nothing Thinking', a cognitive distortion pointed out in CBT. I can accept some imperfections in life and peacefully co-exist with them just so that I can fully enjoy the beauty of life.

It is nice to have some good days to give you some breaks. But remember there are always the ups and downs. It is important to accept and be prepared for the setbacks. Such mental preparation will reduce your fear for the next setback and will calm the brain from thinking it is a threat again and again. The best approach is to accept T as being one of those ailments humans have to take in this life time. Many people are a lot worse than us. We need to learn to count our blessings and learn to even 'rejoice' in our sufferings, as mentioned many times in the Bible:
Romans 5:1-5
James 1:12
Revelation 2:10

 

Billie48 thank you so much for that reminder! God is good my friend and I know that I will get through this. There are bad days and good days for sure. But my bad days have become my worse days by the way I respond to the bad days. All or nothing.. do or die thinking. Of course this is where I have been for the past few weeks. ... But today is a new day and today I will try to live and not respond. I was just praying this morning that God would use this for His glory. ... if it doesn't go away.. then please use it for His Glory! It just one more thing in my life that has reminded me that this world is not my home and to live is Christ and to die is gain. For when He calls me home it's just one more thing that I get to leave behind. I love the LORD! He is my everything and even if He doesn't take this away... I love the LORD!

 

I am commenting on something specific you said..."many people are a lot worse than us", I work in the healthcare field and although some days it is difficult to work with my T, seeing patients that have life threatening illnesses puts things in perspective for me. I am not dying, I can still live a happy normal life with my T while other people are not so fortunate. Of course I would love for my T to go away, but I try to tell myself there are worse things that could happen to me.

 

Tara,
You are so right! That truly puts things into perspective. It could always be worse. I have a friend who has a recurrence of lung cancer and there is not one day that goes by that I don't think of her. When I begin to feel sorry for myself my heart goes to her. Yet part of me grieves for my pain and hers... for sickness and disease of any kind can rule havoc on a person and their family. I have had 2 kidney transplants in my life so I am no stranger to sickness. Tinnitus is just another valley of darkness and I know I will over come! Thanks you so much and know you are making a difference in peoples lives!