Starting to Get a Little Bit of a Grip

As everyone saw I had a pretty terrible day a couple days ago that shook me. However, I've been doing better. I've been off my klonopin for a couple days now and figured out that was the main reason I was having problems concentrating at work. Also, getting so stressed out has helped me be less reactive to my T (not sure if I just burned out a little or what). I didn't sleep well last night and my T is much louder than normal this AM but I'm just barely reacting to it. My T rang pretty loud last night and we still went out, got stuff for our trip, packed and just tried to ignore it. I didn't have any anxiety reactions to it. I still have a long way to go. I still hear it most of the day, I still flare panic and my anxiety level is still much higher than normal but it's obvious I'm getting a little better. Now that I'm not panicking ALL the time I'm starting to notice some trends with my T. In the morning, if I sleep well it is usually very mild. And, a couple mornings its not been there for an hour after I get up. It gets louder throughout the day and flares at around 2:30-3pm when I have been sitting, signing out cases for a few hours. Nights seem to be pretty variable. But, it always seems to get quieter at bedtime. Also, on weekends it has been pretty mild so far. So basically, it's loudness/intrusiveness is directly following my daily stress pattern. I'm really starting to wonder if chronic stress brought this on and that it is directly related to my stress level. Or maybe everyone's T changes with stress? Our vacation next week might help me see if a big drop in stress changes anything. Has anyone ever heard of chronic high stress bringing on T? Or I had a small amount of habituated tinnitus before....maybe it has amplified it? Who knows. Regardless I'm feeling more hopeful. Plenty bad days lay ahead but I think it's gonna be alright. Just gonna take time and getting my anxiety in line. And, a little whining here on TT occasionally

Also, I think i'm going to buy some melatonin to help sleep. The klonopin had made me sleep like a baby but now that I'm off of it the quality of my sleep is not as good.

 

I'm really glad you are feeling better. And yes, keep whining on TT - that's what we're here for!

 

So glad you are doing better, @Nich. I have been thinking about you. Looked back on your older posts and noticed you have had long experience with panic and anxiety. So a lot of what I told you before you probably knew.

There is research that points to a strong connection between anxiety and tinnitus, although its not certain if anxiety in and of itself can cause T. I never had considered myself an anxious person. My first real panic episodes came immediately following tinnitus onset, and I do understand the connection between T and the limbic system. But as I got to know myself better through CBT, I came to realize I probably had anxiety for much of my adult life. I just stuffed down the symptoms. The past three years have been incredibly stressful, as I have constantly been afraid of losing my job and watched many of my friends and co-workers lose theirs. So while I believe injury from a barotauma during a long-distance flight pulled the trigger on my tinnitus gun, I think years of anxiety laid the foundation.

My anxiety really has calmed down over the past year, to the point I really don't need medication during the day any more. However, suddenly my sleep issues have re-emerged. I was able to sleep pretty well post onset with a small dose of Xanax (.5 mg) and 8 mg of Rozerem, basically prescription-grade melatonin. Now I suddenly can fall asleep -- but only for four, five hours. I have tried taking another small dose of Xanax (.25 mg) and 5 mg melatonin to fall back asleep, but that no longer works either. Can't go on much longer getting only four, five hours a night. And lack of sleep definitely makes my tinnitus (and anxiety) worse. Sigh. Always some new challenge with T.

Anyway, I hope you relax on your vacation. We are taking short trip, too, this weekend.

 

@Nich, yes, I agree stress has a lot to do with T spiking. I remember my first vacation after T I was having a blast. Combination of happy time, no stress, lots of interesting distractions etc. just caused the brain to pay little attention to T. The poor brain probably didn't have the capacity to even create this phantom sound with intensity because it is flooded with so many interesting and enjoyable things on the trip. The absence of stress also relax all the muscles and the blood pressure probably stay normal and so T just didn't have a chance to do any damage. My silly explanation about what happens to T when you are on an enjoyable vacation. LOL.

 

Stress, allergies, poor sleep and a tired immune system is a perfect t storm. I woke up with various loud noises. ...12 weeks ago. Sucks. Emotionally drained. Melatonin has helped and sleep is #1 on the list.

 

@Nich - stoked you are doing better!! You are on the right path brother, keep it up!! and I agree with citigirl, feel free to whine here on TT, that's part of the reason it exists! I've done my fair share!! Chill out, have a great vacation and decompress! Don't stress about your T. Just let it be, and enjoy yourself man!!

@Jay M - dude, sorry to hear you are struggling!! Hang in there bro! I totally agree, "sleep #1 on the list"!! I hope you are getting your sleep on and you start to find some relief soon Jay!!

 

After being so upbeat I had a bad afternoon! My T reached screeching volumes while I was signing out. But I made it through. And I think I'm just gonna have to realize that for the next little bit sometimes the best I'll be able to do is make it through. But if I keep making it through before long I will stop fearing NOT making it through. Today was still better than Tuesday and Tuesday was still better than most of last week. And if the pitch of my T keeps going up (which it is just consistently doing) before long maybe I won't be able to perceive it anymore!! LOL! Thanks guys. This forum is seriously such a help!

 

With your attitude, @Nich, I know you are going to be ok. Just making it to the end of the day is a victory in the beginning. It's like that old hiking motto: you pick my feet up, Lord, and I 'll put 'em down.