What Should I Do About My Family? They Don't Understand What I'm Going Through

Good luck. I continue to look for the courage to kill myself. I suffer from ear pain and loud, piercing tinnitus. I have pain when I wear ear muffs briefly even.

I am scared of dying but I have no choice. I don't want to suffer anymore.

 

It is not a subjective problem. There are many scientific studies showing brain activity differences between people with T and those without. It is visible through imaging (I think fMRI is what is used in those studies).

 

I am in the same situation. Except, I have ear pain without the ear muffs.

 

Mantra, I do not care how fucking loud the tinnitus gets.

I will not kill myself.

 

Both doctors and specialists (ENT) don't know how to treat complications and serious ear problems. They also don't care that they don't know. They are paid lots of money to treat less serious problems and other health issues. I have been in agony for almost three months waiting for a referral to an ENT. I begged to fit me in to no avail. This was before I realized that he is likely to be of little help. I finally have an appointment scheduled for next week. Do you know how it was set up? An automated phone call. The office never answers calls.

Imho, tinnitus and its derivatives or associated conditions are the most neglected and ignored health conditions/problems for human beings. It shows how callous and apathetic people are.

We might be a small percentage of the tinnitus population and maybe in the 5% who really suffer but we are ignored as we are invisible. Our pain and suffering are interpreted as psychological and mental issues and that is how the doctors treat us.

No one can treat the underlying problem although researchers and scientists are trying but it seems they are a long way from real progress and achievement. Unfortunately, for some of us or a lot of us, perceive it how you wish, we go on suffering. There is a limit for some of us. I don't think I can go on much longer.

 

Are you in the UK?

 

No, Canada. Why?

 

Why would it take 3 months? I can make an appointment and see in ENT in like a day.

Do you guys have government controlled insurance or something?

I really wouldn't sweat it though. They know how to do exactly jack shit about tinnitus.

 

Because this country sucks even more than other shitty countries. First world, coulda fooled me.

I am screwed. ;(

 

Nobody understands what we go through. My family doesn't, my friends, no one, only people on this forum.

This is a horrible condition and this is very underestimated.

"but that isn't so bad. It's just little noise?" that is the usual response.

People cannot imagine how it feels not to be able to be in silence again.

 

I was one of them and I thought it was a big fucking deal, indeed. Would happily have dropped another several thousand dollars on the spot to be allowed to keep the experimental device in the meantime.

Well, you're free to do as you choose, and I am not one to pollyanna on this subject. On the other hand, you haven't even had tinnitus for a year; I remember feeling quite similarly a lot of the time during the first 2-3 years. I feel that way a lot less now. Some of that is lifestyle changes and medication, but a lot of it was just time and patience and giving my brain the space it needed to adapt to changed circumstances.

If you want to check out tomorrow, no one can stop you, but we'll be here finding ways to do things and enjoy them...

Are you in the US? If so, yeah we're firmly second-world based on our healthcare, but even living way out here in the sticks I've never waited more than a week or two for a specialist appointment. When I lived in the DC metro area I was very used to being able to see my ENT on ~48hrs notice, a couple times less.

 

How would you rate your tinitus in dB?

 

This story is absolutely insane, in the way the people around you are giant assholes.
Tinnitus is not "a little thing", by this logic hearing loss is also a little thing.
Hugs to you, @Fortuna117.

 

And what else do we expect, if even some other patients just explain to the new sufferer (+ 60 dB):
-> that the description of his tinnitus sounds like "nice sound"
-> only 2% of people do not habituate
-> only mentally ill people do not habituate
-> when asked: "Do you believe that any tinnitus therapy will be effective in the next decade?" They reply: "How about wishing a cure for other more life threatening illness?"

This is monstrous!

 

The worst part of this experience is when I had mild tinnitus I told them:

"we only have one chance to get it right".

"if it gets worse I probably end up killing myself."

They refuse to believe the chances are over and keep saying you'll have a second chance.

It simply does not work that way.

When you have a broken leg and you know you have one chance of healing if the leg is cut off there are no second chances.

That leg is gone.

 

I have linked them to this page:
Hopefully they get a good dose of reality.

 

Good. Hopefully they understand how serious this condition actually is.

 

They cannot even be bothered to read this thread and believe committing me is the best idea.

They are literally threating to kick me out if I do not go to one and say I am not thinking clearly.

All because I choose to drink alcohol each night and lay in bed all day.

It is obvious they have no clue as to terrible this condition is and focus on treat it as a mental disability.

They are so convinced that Sarcosine did nothing simply because the doctors state otherwise.

I am suffering from this condition and of course an glutamate agonist will cause tinnitus.

My parents are a bloody joke.

Hell here is the reason my father kicked me out:

I took his keys while he was asleep.

Falling asleep was something he found difficult at the time because of chronic back pain so I did not want to wake him.

In addition I did not want him to get back up to let me inside as he found walking difficult.

So I took his car keys (which I thought had his apartment keys) to open the apartment after visiting the doctors.

He called me selfish for not thinking that he needed to use his car (which he did not and had not used his car for two weeks) if an emergency occured such as a heart attack.

He did not even notice the keys were gone until I returned.

So I left.

But, he would not let me return until I apologised and admitted that I am a selfish person.

 

I stood no chance.

 

You do have a choice but I understand that you're suffering immensely.

 

Your parents are assholes.

 

My mother is also an asshole. When she yells at me, I tell her to stop or I'll slap her in the ear ( I would never ) but she shuts up real quick. lol.

 

When my mother was yelling at me with hyperacusis and kicking me out that is when I called her Australia's favourite word.

Sadly, this might be my last post as I finally got the courage and now just need to wait until the cocktail works (hopefully it is the right dosage).

So much for being a certified genius:
BSC, BPhys (Honours), BEG, BC and just started BVSC.

Just goes to show no matter how smart you are life is tough especially with asshole parents.

 

Family members may not understand you but you can't give up hope just because of that. We can't choose who our family members are they can sometimes be assholes. You are still young and there is a lot of life ahead of you to live. You may eventually find love and start a family and your perspective in life may be totally different than now. If you end it all now, there is no finding out...

It is your choice, your life. I respect that but please don't do it just because you are tired of living now. A lot of us have been through this stage and we have chosen to live through it and it does get better in time. You are a brave person, I can tell, why not be brave to live?

Hope to hear from you again!

 

Seems I have a tolerance to opioids took 80 mg Oxycodone and a whole bottle of wine.

Ended up not dying.

Regardless, why not end it all?

There might be life after death and if not at least I will not care.

Listen I do not want to live through this shit and so I will take my life.

 

You're going to make matters worse...

 

I honestly do not care.

Whatever gets me in the coffin sooner.

Because I am over my life.

As I said in the beginning only one chance to make it through this alive.

Because my parents are bunch of assholes they have destroyed that chance.

 

Has your Tinnitus improved at all?

 

No.

 

I remember you said your first tinnitus tone faded, the original one, so thats improvement. How long have you been dealing with this newly acquired ones?