Nothing is normal with T, but it has happened to a lot of people, and tones come and go so I would just try to relax as best as you can. Before you know it they (hopefully) should be gone.
I think there are two new tones in the left ear today. It is so loud. I wonder how I am going to manage living like this for long. I know I just can't. I can't habituate to a constantly worsening tinnitus with emerging sounds every 1 week or so. Don't mention the stupid reactiveness and the spikes out of nowhere accompanied with hyperacusis
I know that there are people much worse than I am and I felt sorry for all tinnitus and hyperacusis sufferers out there. I pray for a cure. I just do not understand how my life turned upside down for less than a year.
I was a happy guy, living his youth , working as an IT administrator , having a long term relationship. Everything was in order.
1. It all started in January. 3 months suffering from back pain and wasted money and time and all treatments and doctors. However, it did subside a bit so it was tolerable
2. Then due to severe stress caused by my relatives - I developed OCD which was extremely difficult to cope with. All my life I was mentally strong and went through a lot.
3. Then my girlfriend left me because of all my health issues. - we were more than 5 years together. I loved her more than anything and I was not imagining the rest of my life without her.
4. Then a chiropractor screwed my back even worse. I had chills in my legs and hands causing me so much stress and sleepless nights, I was not able to walk straight - I still can't. I have herniated discs. I live in pain every day. Doctors can’t find the right way to cure me.
5. I had dealt with reflux for several months and I have to had it treated.
6. I had long lasting pains in my collar bone and knee (long term injuries but reminded me of not to forget about them)
7. I had glass removed from my eye – because why not… More stress…
8. I hit my head and this caused me severe vertigo for months. Even now I still have these episodes which is extremely unpleasant and exhausting altogether.
9 . I had a severe rash covering all of my body out of nowhere. All my life I did not have any allergies . None. But it had to happen. I took Medrol which caused me even more severe vertigo and this lead me to the doctor that fucked me up.
10. Then this fucking doctor screwed me for the rest of my life doing the caloric test on me. One minute will cost me all my dreams, my life and my well being.
11. I had another noise trauma shortly after – a dog barked next to my ear and worsened it for sure.
How does one gets through all this? All the problems kept piling up one after another. And they were bad.
I struggle at work, I cannot concentrate, I cannot sleep. I cannot speak with people anymore. I do not have social life.
I always lacked positivity to some extend and was really realistic in life. This helped me a lot along the way. However, now is different. Even if I try to see the positivity - I can't.
Life is ruined for less than a year. I really do not know why this happened. I consider the tinnitus to be the biggest curse of all. I was eventually going to live with all the other shitty health problems I have.I know no one is looking for this kind of negativity but I just had to share.I am sorry if I am burdening anyone who is reading this...
Please tell me guys, how do I manage? I am considering suicide every day since the tinnitus and hyperacusis onset. I desperately wanted to live no matter the nasty things that fate brought me and I was imaging life differently - getting married, having kids, better job (as a sys admin probably, which would have required some learning on my side), buying an apartment in the City and going to vacations.
Just live normal, happy and fulfilling life – doing the things that I love and spending time with my loved ones.
However, after all this, I do not thinк I am going to live a normal life at all. It will be a struggle every day and I do not think I am going to manage to get through it. I am considering suicide every day, but I so desperately want to live normally – I just do not see how this is going to happen…
Even if I had perfect health, which I am honestly far away from - Tinnitus would still have crushed my whole being. I was the guy who always wanted silence - always. I enjoyed sleeping with earbuds so much. I just found a nice silent apartment for rent after my split up and I was kind of happy for this, because I know how difficult this is when you live in a big busy city.
However, God obviously wanted to try me even more and bring me this dreaded condition. I am almost sure I am not going to be a success story even though it has only been a month - I keep worsening constantly since the onset even though I am protecting from loud noises and using ear buds when outside or when even talking with someone ...
Please do not go yet, stay with us a bit longer. You might want to give a chance to some medications first (LDN, Keppra, Gabapentin, Benzos... honestly, whatever it takes to stay afloat). You are still in the very acute phase, chances of major improvements are high for you. Plus, the impression I always had by reading this forum is that hyperacusis after a noise insult clears up quite often.
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