I was in your situation 2 years ago and all I can say is that you will return to life and go about your days again. At first I thought that there was no way I could live life the way I was experiencing it but habituation is a very real thing. Over time the reactivity will bother you less and less until it either fades or you just accept it as a new "norm".
@Guywithapug thank you for the encouragement. It’s really the fear of worsening that holds me back. I haven’t “worsened” in quite some time, but I also haven’t improved. So therefore I’m in a freeze state and not knowing what I can and cannot do.
I know what you mean with the fear of worsening, it is just a matter of balance with remaining vigilant whilst also allowing yourself to relax. It takes time to adjust, and for a long time I did not want to accept it. I avoid obviously loud places but still lead a (relatively) normal life. Stay strong, we are rooting for you!
@Samwise_The_Loud thank you for this! I am still having a hard time accepting this, and I know that’s not helping. I went through some other medical trauma right before this, so it was literally one thing after another. This however, is the worst thing I’ve dealt with. PS- love your name, big LOTR fan.
@ErikaS Have to agree with @Guywithapug ,the reactivity could still fade, but you start to get use to it as time goes on. There will be still annoyances and difficulties with it, but the panic and anxiety diminishes greatly. I find acceptance to be the best tool we have in dealing with our condition at the moment.
@ZFire I am hoping as I am only 4 months in and will most likely be doing TRT and some other things that the reactivity can calm down and fade. I didn’t have this horrible, significant hearing loss and I don’t struggle with loudness or pain H, so hoping my brain can adapt and heal. Still so hard to accept as it is very crippling right now, but I know time is a healer.
4 months is nothing on the T timeline. You will surely see some improvements between 6-8 months. The weird thing is that first you must improve your attitude towards it...then it will actually physically get quieter. I know that doesn't make sense but I am starting down this road for the 4th time so I have some experience to draw upon. Hang in there, you will be fine.
@Barry098 I appreciate your insight! It is SO hard to improve/change attitude as it still very much scares me with reactivity and the potential for getting worse. And it’s just so overwhelming with multiple sounds that contain high hissing, dog whistle, electric cicada, mores code, pure tone, etc. I would do anything for 1-2 nonreactive tones.
I know the feelings you are experiencing. I’ve been caught in the spiral a few times now. The thing is…time heals. Hard to see right now because you are suffering and can’t imagine things turning around.
When you can let go of the fear, your brain will let go of those sounds. Very easy to say this by the way and very hard to do it…but you can do this…best advice I ever received is, “put one foot in front of the next.” You will get to a better place!
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