A Message of Hope

Discussion in 'Support' started by bill 112, Jul 26, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      Well guys this is going to be a strange one but regardless it was something I felt I had to share with everyone here in an effort to spur the hope that was lifted in me.What I'm about to tell you is completely true and ignited a fire of hope and determination inside me that I haven't experienced before.

      It involves Religion and a message from loved ones on the other side,but hear me out,I'm not crazy or on meds before you jump to all sorts of conclusions lol.
      I myself for awhile now have been Atheist,not a die hard Atheist by any means but any faith in religion I had was completely gone,I simply had no belief in any God and I seen the bible as the greatest fairytale ever written and to be honest my view on the bible at least is no better today.Between everything that happened to me and continued to happen to me regardless of how much of a good caring guy I was I simply concluded that the existence of an all loving caring god was simply impossible to believe in,the good are punished and the bad inherit the earth was my view on the actions of this supposed god we were all led to believe in.
      But this post is not all about Religion,I don't care if your Muslim,Catholic,Christian or Protestant,if your a good person your ok by me regardless of your beliefs.

      I mentioned my beliefs in order to provide some insight or backstory to what I am about to tell you,what happened was so strange that it at dragged me back to being open to the possibility of there being an afterlife or a God but still not being convinced of it[Agnostic]

      A few years ago I lost my brother to cancer and more recently my father,both were an unacceptable loss to the family and anyone whose been through the same thing knows what I'm talking about,its unbearable to see them go not to mention before their time.
      My father always at least some faith in there being an afterlife but the god topic was not something he had a lot of time for mainly because of the loss of his son.My father always took great interest in a cousin of mine as she claimed she was visited by dead relatives on a number of occasions and the whole family seen how it affected her and were convinced something was happening,that she may actually have this ability.Me however,I thought she was bat shit crazy and full of it!Talking to ghosts?Please give me a break,the whole thing was ridiculous as far as I was concerned,she's just looking for attention I would tell my father.
      He too was an unbelievably sceptical person but to see him believing her convinced me that he was starting to go crazy,I could not see how he was taking her seriously,maybe ignorance on my part but its how I felt at the time.

      Not long after my father died my T and H worsened seven fold and I was literally pushed to the edge of breaking point,many a night I would sit at his grave with tears flowing down my face begging him to relieve me of this,those pleas were never answered.Not long after I decided enough is enough and I began to plan my exit,I had enough of this shit getting worse just as I began to be happy with my life only for this to repeat over and over again.I sat at my kitchen table and wrote my goodbye letter at 4 in the morning,as I wiped back my tears I grabbed my bottle of pills and headed for the door,just as I opened the door my girlfriend appeared out of nowhere and grabbed my jacket,concerned by the tears and pills she asked me what I was doing.I collapsed and told her what I was about to do and that was that,my mother and brother all came to the house and brought me to hospital.Call it devine intervention or a fluke but if she hadn't of woken I would most certainly be dead now.After the hospital sent me home my mother and brother didn't want anyone to know of what happened and that it would be between us and us only.I began to try and deal with this horrible fate that was thrust upon me but all I could think about was dying,I didn't fear it but embraced it.Not that I believed a heaven was waiting for me but more so it was an end to my sorrow and heartbreak.

      A month or so passed when out of nowhere I get a phone call from my cousin Claire,the supposed ghost whisperer of the family.She didn't say much but that she had to talk to me as soon as possible and that I needed to hear this.So I naturally agreed to meet up and ended the call,I was confused because no one in my immediate family were close to Claire,they hadn't spoken to eachother in years making this sudden phone call odd.I grilled my brother and mother asking them what this was about and they were even more confused than I was,we all thought it had to do with some classic cars my father had inherited from his father that were now due to pass down to me.

      So a few days later she arrived and asked if we could speak privately so we walked outside and sat down.Claire welled up with tears and blurted out the words"Stevie your brother and father came to speak to me"and that's when I rolled my eyes and thought here we go again.She looked at me and this is what she said "Stevie I was on holidays in Spain and Jason started trying to contact me,he kept saying your name over and over again so loudly I thought I was going insane,I talked with him and he said I had to deliver a message to you from him and Tom,I don't know what any of it means Stevie but he said I had to get this message delivered.He told me to tell you that everything is going to be ok,that we hear you at the graveyard and your words aren't falling on deaf ears,your not to stop fighting Stevie because the reward is near,the answers your looking for are coming so don't give up! Dont do something stupid,you were so near but we had to stop it,keep fighting and we love you"

      I sat there so confused as to what just happened,I jumped up and stormed into the kitchen and confronted my brother and mother accusing them of setting this whole thing up in an attempt to cheer me up and give me hope.They sat there looking at me confused as they literally had no idea what in the world I was talking about,Claire entered the room and repeated to them what she had just told me and immediately my mother started crying at the whole idea of them trying to get in contact,my mother swore she never told anyone about what had happened and neither had my brother.Claire was actually on holidays when this happened and left her family there to get home and deliver this message to me ASAP,she stated that Jason wouldn't leave her alone until she did.I walked outside and just collapsed in a heap of confusion and anger and that's when it dawned on me,if my family didn't tell her how did she know about my attempt?How did she know about my midnight pleas at their graveside?Literally no one but myself knew about that so how did she know?She couldn't of it was literally impossible.I walked back inside and sat Claire down and told her how everything she just said had hit hard,I told her about the attempt and she just burst into tears hugging me saying I knew it was urgent,I know now why he wouldn't leave me alone and that she couldn't believe that Mr.Happy Man Steve would even consider doing such a thing,my attempt was genuinely news to her.

      So she left and now regularly contacts me to see how I'm doing and that my brother and father haven't contacted her since.To this day I still cant comprehend what happened that day,I cant explain it with logic or common sense,as hard as I try I cant find a rational answer to how she knew these things especially the things that I only knew about.It has spurred new found hope and determination in me and I'm hoping some of it will rub off on some of you here.Its what keeps me going and hopefully the promise they made me will come true for us all and soon,I am well aware of how crazy this sounds,I'm not a fool but when something like this happens to you it would foolish not to acknowledge it.
       
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    2. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      • Like Like x 1
    3. Nonna
      Barefooter

      Nonna Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/17/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Allergies
      Thank you.. I really liked reading that. I lost my faith in 2005. Was not a pleasant feeling for years, felt lost. It never did come back, but I have always wanted it to.
       
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    4. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      @bill 112
      That is a marvellous experience you had with Claire. She is not lying, and that is why you can't explain what she has seen and why she knew about your secret trip to the grave of your father. Why I am positive of that? Because I have similar if not identical affirmations from my deceased loved ones too that they do exist in a different realm and happy to be where they are. From my personal experiences, I know of people who have special gift in seeing the spirits and some of them have gone there and back due to near-death experience. One well respected, honest and kind hearted older lady I met in Hawaii literally told me many encounters of seeing and communicating with the spirits as she said she has the special spiritual gift of seeing spirits. She has unquestionable character known among her friends and was in great health, nothing delusional of sort. So I have no doubt in her stories.

      God is loving and merciful but I don't think He promises that we are going to live a life without pain and suffering nor challenging illnesses. Even in the days of Christ or the Old Testament, believers suffered persecutions, some killed, imprisoned, or stoned, not to say facing the challenge of illnesses and pains, like the case of Job. So I never feel the need to equate God as a ticket to a painless life. I don't understand fully why things happen the way they happen, like most people. But in Romans 5: 3-4 there are hints that we need to be patient, even positively take on the sufferings in life with dignity and patience. and hopefully grow with the challenges. Good on you to have such a wonderful experience and thank you for sharing such as 'sacred' and personal experience to benefit others. Take good care and God bless you.
       
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    5. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Yep, I lost my faith in 2010. It wasn't overnight but a gradual process. I understand wanting it to come back. I'd like to think there is something more than this, but I just don't.
       
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    6. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      Me too Nonne,it feels like you've lost your best friend and your all alone when you lose your faith,it feels like the person you felt you could always rely on for help is no longer there.Its an odd horrible experience but when you realise he's not real there's nothing you can do about it except move on and accept it.And then suddenly something like this happens and now you don't know what to think anymore.Me being an Atheist or at least Agnostic this really goes against what I believe but I have no other choice but to acknowledge it for what it is,an un explainable odd occurrence involving an apparent afterlife or God.Before where I would argue all day that a god simply is impossible and in plausible I'm now open to the possibility of it being somewhat true,a big step so if that doesn't say how insane this was I don't know what does.
      Best Wishes Bill.
       
    7. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      I am exactly in the same boat as you Alue,gradual loss of faith and as much as I want to believe I just can't,it goes against logic and many other things including science,not that science is always right,it's been wrong before and it will be wrong again.Either way I don't want to start a Religion debate as it wasn't my intention for making this thread,just an experience I thought worth mentioning as it may inspire some hope.

      But then something like this happens,it can't be explained but I'm sure science would attempt it with varying theories etc but now I don't know what to think anymore,when something like this happens you it's a very odd feeling,your so certain your right and now maybe just maybe you shouldn't be so sure anymore.
       
    8. Path Maker

      Path Maker Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic
      On Christmas Eve, 1985, I sat in a room in Switzerland in the half-light, half-dark (it was 5:30 p.m.) in a little farming village where my then boyfriend lived. He was sound asleep on the couch. I was curled up in a chair, reading a Dickens novel in the growing darkness.

      In the United States, my mentor/English professor who had taken a shine to me in college and taken me under her wing for years and who meant the WORLD to me, was sick and dying of pancreatic cancer. She was only 55 years old (I was 23).

      Despite the fact that she had been ill for a while, there was no way to know when she would die.

      I was so sad when I left the U.S. for this planned trip to Switzerland. But I went.

      I also considered myself somewhat atheist (though I had spiritual yearnings, but hadn't yet been able to connect to it all).

      Well, at 5:30 p.m., the village church bells began to ring and out of the blue, suddenly and completely, I was FILLED with this soft, electrical, flushed, feeling, and on this wave of current, a KNOWING came over me, and I felt the words in me: "She died today."

      There was NO question, NO need to ask "how could I know this?" -- nothing! I just KNEW.

      And then, right after that, I was FLOODED with a sense of UTTER AND TOTAL PEACE in my WHOLE BEING. I practically FLOATED in PEACE for the next seven hours until I slept.

      When I got home from Switzerland, there was an envelope from my best friend who confirmed that yes, my mentor/teacher had died on December 24, 1985.

      And that was the beginning of my whole life of knowing. When she died, she paused for a bit in this cosmos and she mentored me yet again: She opened the door for me.

      I believe you, @bill 112 . And yes, that's why you must hold on and keep going! <3
       
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    9. jdjd09

      jdjd09 Member

      @bill 112 , thanks for sharing. What do you think the hope/future they were referring to was? Did you ever ask what that meant?

      Like, did that mean a hearing loss cure/the issue your having cure was coming out?

      I'm just curious is all. I'm really glad you shared this story. It was helpful to read. Also, sorry if my question sounds crazy. I'm not sure what I believe about in this life anymore myself. But I don't find your story crazy at all. Weird things happen in this world.

      PS: I was going to try to PM you something, but it says your privacy settings are too high or something. Not sure if you just would prefer me not to PM (if so, that is fine as well).
       
    10. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      To be honest man I have no idea what it meant but I at least took it as a cure or treatment is coming and not to give up hope,to be strong and the thing I crave will come I just need to hold on a little longer.I begged them for a cure in my desperate pleas by the graveside and for my cousin to say"the answer is coming just be strong"kinda confirmed that they meant the answer to our problem is on the horizon.Now they could have meant something different I don't really know,it's kind of open to interpretation.
       
    11. bill 112
      Studious

      bill 112 Member

      Location:
      Republic Of Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      It shook me it really did,I had lost my faith and I begged for them to answer me,what did my future hold.Of course I didn't get any response and to be honest I didn't expect one,I believed they were simply dead and that was it just total darkness and nothingness,no heaven or after life bull that they spew out everyday.But the funny thing is it looks like I did get a response,not directly but through my cousin Claire.Maybe she can do what she claims she can,I know a lot of people believe deeply in spirits and all that stuff it just wasn't anything that I was convinced of,like I said I'm a massive sceptic of something until proven wrong and it appears at least that I may have been proven wrong about this,I simply don't know.
       
    12. John G

      John G Member

      @bill 112 hey. Thanks for sharing that story. I have encountered a couple of strange occurrences after two of my close family members passed away. I will not go into details but what happened to me..gave me a real different outlook on things.
       
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    13. Mario martz
      Creative

      Mario martz Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Stephen thanks for sharing!,
      this kind of experiences gives me goosebumps.
      but they might be totally true, it would be totally ignorant to believe that there is no god, or afterlife.
      maybe its just not the way we think it is.

      this is definitely a super natural experience.
       
    14. Jamie m
      Loved

      Jamie m Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      3/13/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Music
      I truly believe in everything you say, my aunt recently passed away, and my other aunt( her sister) would always go and look at her pictures and say " I can't do this without you I miss you too much" well, the daughter of my aunt who passed away who lives in a different state went to my aunt and said "mom wants me to tell you that you can do this without her and she misses you too" ... My aunt never told anyone that she would look at her pictures!! I do have a strong faith and I actually got stronger after T with my faith. But this story is amazing and I'm praying for a cure and peace.
       
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    15. Ears Hurt

      Ears Hurt Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Whiplash or Buzzer (abuse from ex)
      @bill 112 Thank you for sharing your experience Bill. Reading it brought tears to my eyes. I lost my grandmother right after I started with my symptoms. I was so consumed in myself; I didn't see her much before the loss. I hate myself for that and now I make time for everyone. I've realized to put people first from it.

      Funny thing that you tagged me, but it never showed up in my alert.
       
    16. Path Maker

      Path Maker Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic
      There is a saying about a person whose hand is in front of their eyes which prevents them from seeing a whole mountain. Like, you can literally be standing right at the base of a gigantic mountain, and if you put your tiny hand up in front of your eyes, it completely blocks your view and you could swear that there is no mountain!

      We as humans are not able, with the kinds of minds/brains we have, to comprehend anything beyond this one speck of an earth we are on, floating in a vast and endless cosmos OVERFILLED with all sorts of other worlds.

      Our brains are better able, by and large, to only handle the empirical stuff and the "evidence" of our "senses" here in front of us, like that "hand" of the saying.

      The "mountain," though we can't see it and tune into it, surely exists in some form.

      I believe that some people have the ability to tune in to other frequencies, etc. on a more regular basis (like your cousin) and that many of us do have moments where we receive information that is not of the five senses.

      I also believe that it makes not only practical, but also hopeful and worthwhile sense, to believe that there is an unfolding plan and purpose to these seemingly brief earth lives of ours.

      Also, and this is a big one: I would MUCH RATHER live my life as if it all counted not just for here, but for eternity. What if every action you do is "written" somewhere in a vast cosmic literature that YOUR LIFE gets to be a contributor to? If so, and this is how I live, do as much good as you can, for you and everyone around you.
       
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    17. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Before the advent of the computer, or should I say the super computers of today, it is unfathomable that anything in the universe can store all your life in graphic images. Now just look at the tiny hand held smart phones taking pictures and storing gigabytes in that tiny palm size space inside, and think of the millions of videos stored and retrievable on youtube by the mere few clicks of the mouse, then you realize that if there is a creator of this universe, if there is a superior intelligence out there, it is not too unfathomable or impossible anymore that your whole life can be captured by something created by that superior intelligence. If you lived a few hundred years ago and someone from 21st century tell you what he can do with that little handheld device, he would have been put into a nut house or burned as someone spreading witchcraft. LOL. So we can't really rule out the other realm of existence based on our current knowledge of science.. Some of the most brilliant minds that ever lived believe in God, folks like Einstein, Newton etc. See this list:

      http://www.famousscientists.org/25-famous-scientists-who-believed-in-god/

      And here are 50 more recent scientists who have won the Nobel Price in the 20th and 21st century and who are religious. I guess faith or religion is a personal thing. These scientists, despite their excellent scientific training, don't find God or religion something contradictory to science. I studied pre-medicine as a young man and I consider myself quite scientifically inclined. But my understanding of science is nothing compared to these guys. So who am I to base my little knowledge of science to conclude that there can't be God and there is no afterlife. My humble 2 cents on this subject.

      http://www.adherents.com/people/100_Nobel.html
       
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    18. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      I can tell you that this feeling is real when a loving spirit is around or embracing you. They are just that powerful. I don't like to preach my belief much on this forum but I personally have encountered and have read similar experiences when a loved one is approaching you from the other realm. You may not see him/her, but you will feel that overwhelming sense of love and peace. That is why many who had gone over to the other realm would come back after a near-death experience, profoundly affected by the great love felt on the other realm and would almost universally be saying that they didn't really want to come back nor they fear death anymore. Here is an article on Washington Post talking about that perfect love they felt:

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...nces-consistently-report-one-thing-gods-love/
       
    19. Path Maker

      Path Maker Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic
      @billie48 Yes. This is so. I have felt this more than once in my life, in addition to the above story, which was the greatest, most intense experience of it. There is grace in it. You know it when it happens. And it infuses you and leaves a sweet deep knowledge beyond "knowledge" even when you must inevitably begin stepping in the everyday empirical world again. Because you know.
       
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    20. Jan108

      Jan108 Member

      Location:
      PRG
      Tinnitus Since:
      already fixed
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      dead relatives
      @bill 112 et al: Such things happen and can change one's worldview indeed.
      My personal experience is that tinnitus, often mentioned here as "ghost sounds", is, at least in some cases like mine, exactly that.
      I did some reading on the topic and found its connection to the subtle realm, in some cases, that is.
      It's said when it appears in one ear only (usually the left one) a ghost is trying to communicate with you. It's usually a dead relative, in my case from both mom's and dad's side in several years apart.
      What worked in my second case was simple - pronouncing in my mind "[name of your favorite aspect of God], please liberate [names of deceased relatives, one by one, starting with those who died recently]". It worked immediately.
      In the first case I've used another method based on my background in Vaishnava and Mahayana theology and described here:
      http://community.beliefnet.com/go/t...ost_with_verses_from_Shrimad_Bhagavatam?sdb=1
      Simply put, it's called the transfer of merit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transfer_of_merit

      I found these related threads helpful:
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-sound-could-possibly-be-a-higher-power.3831/
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...nce-while-on-sleep-paralysis-last-night.2620/
      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/sleep-paralysis.4134/#post-132948

      All the best. Hari Hari
      Jan
       
    21. VRZ78

      VRZ78 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      infection
      Anyone has news from Bill ? He hasn't been on the forum since September...
       
    22. stophiss

      stophiss Member

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      too full a life
      To me religion is baloney but below is a compelling reason there is a lot we don't know. Like a spiritual super highway that some brains can tap into. The notion is that our conscious mind is not our own...but rather consciousness is shared which explains so many things...like clairvoyance and ESP, the uncanny talent of some when it comes to composing music and art, precosity....little kids with extraordinary talent and of course that the flesh may die but the spirit aka collective consciousness doesn't but rather is recycled to a new life aka reincarnation many believe in and there is compelling evidence:

      http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread1143020/pg1
       
    23. PaulBe

      PaulBe Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Cairns
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably sound, though never proven
      .....and if you're watching Bill, there are others on another thread looking for you, and a bit worried about you.

      Check in.
       

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