Any Advice Would Be Nice. Feeling Anxious and Demotivated.

Discussion in 'Support' started by Striveon, Sep 20, 2018.

    1. Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Today was my first day of school :(

      I went in all anxious with bad anxiety of being left alone on campus without my family's support to push me to keep up the good attitude and to strive on forward.

      I carried my Xanax 0.5 mg but I know I can't take them anyways so it's like I don't have anything to help with my anxiety.

      I just feel like shit and I hate tinnitus and I hope it could go away but it seems like I'm getting depressed all over again :(

      Today marks 51 days of tinnitus and I hate it so much.

      My tones are usually low pitch but today it was high I'm guessing because of the anxiety?

      Also, it's like I'm not even going to school because I just turn off my hearing aids (which I've been wearing for 15 years) so I won't hear anything. So basically I go to sit and waste time.

      I'm in university so the classes are the size of a theatre with about 200 to 300 students and the teacher uses a microphone to speak and the videos are played extremely loud. I dont know what to do :( studying was my happiness. It was something I have always loved doing, going to school, ready to learn and meet new people. Now I don't feel like doing anything.
       
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    2. katri
      Blah

      katri Member

      Location:
      Las Vegas
      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      I’m about 2 1/2 years into my tinnitus and it does get better. Hang in there. When I had tinnitus I had to move in with my parents and start at a new school district. It was hard but once you make friends and start doing work...you stop thinking about it for the most part. I forgot I really had it for 2 years. I knew I did but it wasn’t that bad after I habituated. Right now, I’m working on getting used to a new sound.

      I get through my days by looking at the big picture. I have big plans including traveling the world and I’ll be damned if I waste my time by focusing on my ears too much.
      Try wearing ear plugs from the gas station in class. They have clear ones that aren’t noticeable. Since I’ve gotten tinnitus from loud noises I’ve just learned to protect my ears more. I’ve seen Mariah Carey, gone to iheart and now I’m looking forward to seeing Beyoncé this weekend. You can do anything, just be smart about it.
       
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    3. GregCA
      Jaded

      GregCA Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      You list "unknown" as your cause of T, but clearly if you've been wearing hearing aids for 15 years, you probably have hearing loss, which is a well known predictor. That is most likely your cause.
       
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    4. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. I am glad you are doing big things, having fun, being great and not letting anything slow you down. I admire you and I hope I do get to where you are at. I really hope I learn how to cope with tinnitus. Thank you :)
       
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    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      That's what I am thinking but there are some hopes of it going away :( I mean my ENT said that some people can cure even if they have a hearing loss. So hopefully :/ also, it is weird having tinnitus 15 years later? I'm not sure anymore :(
       
    6. katri
      Blah

      katri Member

      Location:
      Las Vegas
      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      Also it’s important not to feel like you’re all alone. I’m pretty sure anyone on this website would love to be your buddy about it. It helps me to think that I’m not the only one hearing this sound.

      Here are some tips
      - Sometimes I put on ear plugs even when I don’t have to just that I can hear the sound and whenever I take them out it doesn’t feel as loud because I’ve heard the sound all by itself.
      - try to include self care as apart of your schedule. Most people think that it’s time consuming, but it’s not. You can try on a face mask here and there or you can go out and grab your favorite meal. Usually I save all my extra money in a bucket throughout the month. Whenever I feel stressed, I dedicate a whole day to myself. I go out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner alone. I bring my homework and sometimes I’ll invite one friend to eat one meal with me.
      - meditation/relaxation. Sitting in silence inside the car might feel unbearable but sometimes you have to. I downloaded a meditation app and I do it regularly when I’m waiting on someone or something.
      - if you’re a big thinker, write out your plans. I’m working to get accepted into a nursing program at my university and I continuously think about all the help I could give others. I want to travel doing what I love.
      - remember life goes on. You can sit around and cry all day long, but there seriously are better things to do. I literally didn’t go to the movies for the first year and a half.
      - I compliment other people when I’m upset. It’s like a positive outlet for me. You have no idea what some stranger is going through and making their day better makes yours better as well.
      - make new friends. I have a friend with Chron’s disease and I know they’ll switch with me in a minute. (It’s chronic constipation and irregular bleeding from your butt).
       
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    7. coffee_girl
      Innocent

      coffee_girl Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      All my life, but got worse 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced / Concert
      Hang in there, thoughts are with you.
       
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    8. glynis
      Feminine

      glynis Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England, Stoke-on-Trent
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      Hi @Striveon ,
      Make sure you see your university support people,nurse,support they can provide for you to help you strive in learning at university.
      See if tutorials can be streamed to a computer in a quiet room for you and so on.
      Being away from family can he hard but your tinnitus family are only a click away .
      Well done in going to university and remember others will have tinnitus and maybe university staff could put you intouch with eachother.

      Some positivity for you -
      My son Graduated this year doing studies part time one day a week while working as a Architectural technician.
      He registered today to do his Masters Degree part time one day a week while working as a Architectural technician.
      His boss will still pay him for 5 days.

      Also his university want him do teaching for them 10 hours a week by phone and email to support new architect students .
      My son has epilepsy and had his ear bones removed age 7.
      Push to follow your dreams and get all the support in place for yourself as you deserve it.

      love glynis x
       
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    9. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I truly appreciate your advice, thank you, it means a lot to me that you have taken some time out to encourage me into seeing what truly life is about.

      There is more to life than sitting around and thinking it is all shattered due to tinnitus. I do admit, my confidence has dropped :( I don't feel like getting ready nor worthy :( I am glad you do those things to help yourself, they sound like entertainment and also a time for self-healing and peace to help you keep on striving forward. I really hope you get into the nursing program, my older sister is an RN :) I can give you some tips if you have any questions.

      I am a 3rd year college student, majoring in health care management but I'm thinking of switching :/ too much stress due to what I have now :/ I agree with you on not being lonely too :/

      my parents are fully supportive and none of my friends really understand how debilitating tinnitus is...

      But I hope one day I can get to where you are at. You are appreciated, thank you so much <3
       
    10. katri
      Blah

      katri Member

      Location:
      Las Vegas
      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise
      @Striveon trust me, you will. At some point I just got bored of it. As young people it’s what we do.
       
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    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Thank you for your kind words, advice and encouragement Glynis. I truly appreciate it :) you are so kind and always very helpful. You have given me a very good idea and I will get to it tomorrow! I heard my school has xoom, so I can see my professor through online. Thank You for that and congratulations on your grandson's graduation! That is awesome! He is a warrior! I am glad he kept using his inteligence to keep on studying and growing stronger into a successful young man! I am a very smart girl, but I can't give it up simply because I now have tinnitus :/ no way! Just right now I need some time to heal and get my mind straight and accepting my new life :)
       
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    12. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Thank you, it is tough but everything is possible, there is much more to life. I hope you are doing good, I wish you well. Cheers :)
       
    13. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I have noticed I do get bored at times, I can't wait till I'm fully tuned out of it :) I wish you good luck, keep being great, cheers :)
       
    14. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      Hi @Striveon, first of all I would openly talk about your concerns with the university because they may be able to offer you some much needed support. When it comes to the lecture theatres you could always invest in some custom molded earplugs. They use filters which reduce the overall noise without muffling the sound, so everything stays crisp and clear (you could buy a couple of different filters to cater for different noise levels). Overall though, I will say for the vast majority of people it gets much better with time. So, don’t let your catastrophic thoughts drag you down. I’ve had PMs from people who were at their wits’ end when they signed up, but have then messaged me after many months/years to say how much better they were feeling.

      In my case I realised that T was taking me down; I had no life left and all my ambitions had been taken from me. It was literally killing me slowly. One day I decided enough was enough and figured I felt terrible anyway so why constantly worry about everything? I took drastic measures and rebooted my life.

      First of all I stopped coming here, I stopped reading about T everyday, and I stopped reading research papers. I also gave up looking for a cure. I found I had become obsessed with tinnitus and I felt like I was in a bubble being consumed by it.

      Next, I cleaned up my diet and started exercising regularly (this is great for reducing anxiety and improving your mood).

      I started learning songs that were on my radar (I’m a musician) but never got round to. I also started playing chess again because I found the deep concentration of being lost in a game made me forget my concerns for a moment; even with the noise raging in my head. This was a very gradual process; it’s not like I started the first game and thought that noise ain’t bothering me anymore! I’ve habituated!! It’s not like that at all.

      I stopped wearing earplugs when I left the house and in the car. I realised a lot of my problems stemmed from the fear I had built up around sound, so I set out to systematically destroy the control it had over me and regain some rationality. I felt my emotional wellbeing bouncing back and my obsession with sound decreasing. This step is incredibly difficult and many may need help with it. My personality is quite determined and once I start something, I have unbelievable, freakish, willpower. I have custom plugs, foam plugs, and ear muffs that I use when the occasion calls for it, but I must stress that I no longer walk around analysing everything in case it’s a threat like I used to. I believe 90% of my day used to be me checking and worrying about every moderate noise I heard.

      Start helping people. It’s a fact that helping others also helps yourself. It can replenish your soul, and a simple act like giving a homeless person a drink and a sandwich can boost your own wellbeing.

      Reconnect with friends old and new, and be social. If your personality fits with this, then do it, as laughing with friends is very hard to beat.

      Take up a new hobby. This is another method of distraction and is all about taking your mind away from the obsession of sound, and making it obsessed with something that is healthy and benefits you. One method I’ve spoken about before is to turn negative energy into positive energy. This is something I’ve done many times in my life. What you do is make a list of goals (keep it small to begin with) and then try and attain them. Make sure they are things that can revolutionise your life. If you do achieve these things then you can thank Tinnitus for giving you the push to do it; for giving you that motivation that you never knew you had. This is how I originally started playing guitar, so believe me it works. On some level the guitar saved my life.

      You could try cold shock therapy which involves swimming in cold water. It’s proven to help one’s mental health.

      Finally, and this is really important: do not put a timetable on yourself. Recovery is not linear and you will take just as many backward steps as forward ones. It is like watching a child grow older: you don’t realise just how much they’ve changed until you see an old photo. Recovering is no different; you don’t realise until one day you notice you haven’t thought about it for a few minutes, and this gradually turns into longer durations almost unrecognisably.

      All these things help break the cycle of control that tinnitus can have on you.

      Good luck.
       
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    15. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      Also, read this girls success story which I’ll post below:

      Hello everyone,

      This is a little of my story and what I believe about tinnitus.

      Four years ago, I woke up one morning with both ears ringing - both at different pitches and very loud. I made a visit to the doctors, was referred to the ENT and later had an MRI scan. I then developed hyperacusis after taking s herbal remedy for blocked Eustachian tubes. During this time of waiting and reading about tinnitus on the Internet and on many negative, disheartening forums and notice boards, I gradually became more fearful, anxious and depressed and truly believed that there was absolutely no way on this earth that I could live with the level of sound it was causing. A normal and happy life seemed completely out of the question and seemed like an impossibility.

      I slowly changed from being a happily married mum of two wonderful teenage daughters to a completely depressed, anxious and suicidal wreck. I was unable to leave the house due to the frequent panic attacks and to the constant crying. I spent hours sitting and waiting for the tinnitus to go so that I could have my life back. I would constantly monitor the sound and check which rooms in the house it was better or worse in. Life was a nightmare. Every morning on waking, I would go straight into a panic attack. I lost three stone in weight and really did reach meltdown point. I lost my will to live and my fight against tinnitus.

      However, at about ten months, my husband and our very good friends decided to take me away on holiday as part of an attempt to help me recover. I didn't want to go as was terrified of flying and I was still crying a lot at the time. Anyway, I went along.

      During that holiday, I remember being in the car and forgetting about tinnitus for about 15 minutes. It was a massive turning point for me... I was amazed that I had actually managed to forget about it. I'm not saying that a holiday is the answer but I do know that it was getting out and about and doing things again that started to make a difference.

      After that, the times of forgetting became more frequent and lasted longer. Later, I stopped reading about tinnitus and stopped trying to find a cure. Slowly but surely I started to live again.... I literally felt like I had come back from the dead. I stopped speaking in a monotone voice and started smiling again. Life all of a sudden was good and I was loving every minute of what I felt like was a second chance to live.

      Nothing had really changed. I still had tinnitus - It seemed to be just as loud. The only thing that had changed was my perception or beliefs about tinnitus..

      Over the past few years I have learned that tinnitus does not make me depressed or anxious. However, it's fair to say that depression and anxiety make tinnitus worse. In my experience, I have found that Tinnitus is largely a central nervous system problem and is exacerbated by negative emotions. Fear is the ultimate culprit which creates anxiety and depression. Our bodies go into fight or flight and our brains subsequently focus so intently on the noise because it is perceived as a threat. This results in the tinnitus sounding so much more 'intrusive' or louder.

      In my personal experience, when I lost my fear of tinnitus, the anxiety left and so did the depression. The added bonus was that because my brain no longer perceived it as a threat, It stopped focusing on the noise which resulted in the tinnitus being much less intrusive and so it was so much quieter. I soon found that I was able to go for very long periods of time where I didn't even hear it.

      For the majority of the time, tinnitus doesn't bother me. If I do hear it, it doesn't cause feelings of anxiety, panic or depression. However, if it ever does raise it's ugly head and becomes the monster that it once was, I know that in order to fight it, I need to focus on looking after my emotions. Positive beliefs have a powerful effect on our bodies and tinnitus is definitely a problem which is conquered in this way. Tinnitus doesn't stick a chance of ruining our lives when we are not fearful of it. If tinnitus doesn't cause us fear or depression and doesnt bother us, then it's as good as if its gone - think about it. :)

      If you are reading this and are at your wits end, I want to let you know that things can and do improve massively. My life is as good now with tinnitus as it was before tinnitus. Take one day at a time. It just takes a little time and a different way of thinking.

      Love to you all,
      God bless,
      Aly
      xx
       
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    16. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Striveon

      Striveon Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Thank you for taking some time to offer some advice, your own experience, and tips. I truly appreciate it :) I am currently the way you used to be, obsessing over vitamins that'll help, hearing if my tinnitus is lowering, being depressed, etc. I am glad you found your own life once again, I am glad you are now happy and enjoying life to the fullest potential. Continue being great! I hope to one day be able to be where you are at! It'll take a while but I can't wait to find the light out of the tunnel and on to a happy life. Thank you for sharing the girl's success story, it is wonderful to know we can truly live a happy normal life even with tinnitus. Continue being great, good luck and Cheers! :)
       

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