Back for Support — In the Depths of Despair with Worsening Hearing Loss and Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Support' started by derpytia, Nov 22, 2021.

    1. derpytia
      Pooptoast

      derpytia Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Rescue, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hearing loss / ETD
      Hey guys. Some of you might remember me, some of you will not. But I'm back.

      Back again in the depths of despair. Worsening hearing loss and worsening tinnitus. I don't want to scare the true newbies. You guys will likely take the normal route of getting better and moving on with your lives.

      I am not normal and well every 1-2 years I lose more hearing from doing something that is normal.

      All my high frequency and half of my mid frequency hearing is gone. You can imagine the unmaskable hell in my head and ears.

      I'm coming back for support. I just had the most wonderfully close to normal two years of life. Now hope was ripped away from me by another loss. I tried not to come back here. Truly I tried very hard to be strong and carry on. I was making money, going places, sleeping (sometimes without meds and my masking track), eating good food... I found the love of my life. A woman I adore and cherish with all my heart. Long distance but that doesn't diminish our love and has not for over a year. (And no, I don't accept religious and homophobic statements on my sexuality and love life).

      I had personal growth. I had plans. I felt like I had hope.

      Yet here I am. Stuck. Back here.

      I would like some support and some hope. Regardless of the fact that I haven't participated here for years I have been occasionally keeping up with research and treatments. Very discouraged to see that Frequency Therapeutics has failed.

      So yes. I am back.
       
      • Hug Hug x 21
    2. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Why does the hearing loss keep accumulating?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 5
      • Genius Genius x 1
    3. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      I’m really sorry to see you here again, derpytia. You’ve been through a lot, but you understand the process of recovery more than most on this site. It’s a path well-trodden for you and I strongly believe you will get back into the rhythm of life again, but it may take some time. There will always be moments where we feel we are getting beaten down, and not just by tinnitus and hearing-related issues, but by life itself. We all lose our grip on the handle at times because life can be a cruel son of a bitch.

      Try not to let yourself sink into a state of despair because there’s a whole army of people here who have your back and understand what you’re going through. Take baby steps forwards.
       
      • Like Like x 5
      • Friendly Friendly x 2
    4. aura

      aura Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      romania
      Tinnitus Since:
      05.2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Hello... again.

      I'm also back after 8 normal years and I understand very well what you're going through.

      You will find here all the support you need. :huganimation:
       
      • Like Like x 4
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      derpytia
      Pooptoast

      derpytia Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Rescue, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hearing loss / ETD
      Wish I had a clear answer Brian. All tests normal save for audiograms. Fixing to go in for another one soon to see what the damage is now but it's a whole process since insurance in the USA is a bit of a nightmare especially since COVID-19.

      No tumors. No deficiencies... Just losing like huge chunks of hearing every 1 to 2 years on a given day of being a normal human doing normal human things.

      Maybe I just lost the genetic lottery.
       
      • Hug Hug x 6
    6. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      Autoimmune ear disease?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 4
    7. Jack Straw
      Balanced

      Jack Straw Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      1990s
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Infection, Acoustic Trauma
      I am so sorry you are suffering so much. I hope it gets better quickly and you can resume your life and enjoy your new relationship!
       
      • Agree Agree x 4
    8. InfiniteLoop
      Relaxed

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      High frequency hearing loss in left ear from head trauma (?)
      @derpytia, we all go through up and downs with this evil condition. You are stronger than you think because you have been able to recover from multiple relapses and worsenings.

      The hearing in my left ear keeps getting worse and the tinnitus intensity and persistence goes along. In my case, it might the onset of aging, but I don't understand why the hearing loss and tinnitus is just in one ear.

      Stay calm, and try to go back to your life.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    9. quietatnight
      Frustrated

      quietatnight Member

      Location:
      Rockford IL
      Tinnitus Since:
      1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma / firecracker
      @derpytia, I remember you, we’re both old timers and have had our shares of ups and downs. I’m glad to hear from you. I just wish it was under different circumstances.

      I’m wishing you all the best on your road back to recovery and normal days again soon.

      Take care.

      Louie
      Quietatnight
       
      • Like Like x 3
    10. ThomasF

      ThomasF Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Staying positive in these sorts of circumstances is difficult. While I am not a long standing member here, I have felt enormous relief just by being able to read the stories of others that share my plight as well as tell my own.

      I want you to know that you are not alone and that we are rooting for you.
       
    11. DebInAustralia
      No Mood

      DebInAustralia Member Benefactor Advocate

      Location:
      Geelong, Victoria
      Tinnitus Since:
      30/12/13
      Hydrops?

      Would you consider the John from Ohio Meniere's protocol? Diuretics? LDN (Low-Dose Naltrexone)?
       
    12. Nathaniel Teposo
      Anime

      Nathaniel Teposo Member

      Location:
      Manila, Philippine
      Tinnitus Since:
      January 1, 2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced trauma
      We have a common situation. Worsening of tinnitus and hearing after almost a decade of living a normal life again.

      But it's get better in time and hope yours will.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    13. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      Stay strong girl! You will be fine again. I remember your story from years ago, you’ve been through some tough times.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    14. TheDanishGirl
      Sad

      TheDanishGirl Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2017 (H since 06/2017)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term noise exposure (headphones), maybe some stress.
      I remember you. I must admit it's kinda nice seeing one of the people from back when I was still early into the tinnitus/hyperacusis journey. I often feel devastated about the fact that I seem to be the only one left suffering from back then. Everyone else seems so have improved and moved on. Of course I do NOT at all like the circumstances of why you have returned :( I hope you will improve with time. I hope we all do.
       
      • Hug Hug x 6
    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      derpytia
      Pooptoast

      derpytia Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Rescue, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hearing loss / ETD
      Hey you, I remember you too. I'm sorry you were still suffering. I feel bad now that I was enjoying two years while you were stuck here by yourself.

      Just wish this would go away. The hearing loss I could eventually deal with. This worsening is different this time. It's so intrusive that it can't be masked anymore because I can no longer hear the frequencies required to mask it. If I ever manage to habituate, I don't know if I'll have any quality of life anymore.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    16. Juan

      Juan Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      Do you have symptoms after noise exposure (meaning for instance walking around traffic, a normal city walk)? Headaches, ear pressure etc?
       
    17. Juan

      Juan Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      You and I... haha.
       
    18. Juan

      Juan Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      How? Do you use hearing aids?
      Do you hear your tinnitus when you wake up in the morning?

      Does your brain cancel out or ignores the tinnitus at any time?
       
    19. GregCA
      Jaded

      GregCA Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      You could be making the same mistake therapists make: just because people don't come back to express suffering anymore doesn't mean they're over it. You're not alone.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    20. Michael B
      No Mood

      Michael B Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      '11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced
      I'm not a regular on this website but do drop in on occasion and happen to read your post. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I truly believe others continue to have trouble with their tinnitus despite no longer contributing as they once had. I myself fall in this category.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    21. Tanni
      Devilish

      Tanni Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      October 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ???
      Hey Tia, I remember you. I actually randomly thought about you a couple of months ago.

      Your last two years sound incredibly impressive - I can't believe how much you were able to do with intrusive tinnitus. That takes a huge amount of strength.

      Hopefully this new setback will be temporary. But even if it isn't, remember that new/louder sounds always seem worse when you first get them, and its normal to think you will never be able to cope with them. You've done it before - you can do it again :)
       
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