Both Me and My Wife Have Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Mentos, Dec 23, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Hi there,
      Since March 2015 I have a noise induced tinnitus after too loud rock concert. First 6 months were tough, to say the least I spent 1 month in psychiatric hospital after I got suicidal and did not trust myself anymore. Now it seems I'm coping better, I got back to work which is not easy due to concetration problems but somehow I manage to leave day by day. I'm 36 and the toughest times for me are when I think it's a lifetime condition I'm in. When I start thinking about it I have panic attacks which takes me up to 1 hour to get over.

      Interesting is my wife has T as well for years already, I think stronger than mine (we compared several times and she could hear her tinnitus even with background noise on while I did not hear mine) but she manages it much better than me. In few words for her it's just a minor discomfort she calls it, never pays any attention to it, have no concentration problems and in general is fine with it.

      Does any of you have similar situation being both yourself and your spouse on the same T boat? Does it make you feel better that you share the same thing with your spouse? I have mixed feelings, on one hand it feels good to have kind of menthor in my wife who can be an example how to treat tinnitus as not a big deal, on the other hand it makes me bit frustrated that I cannot reach the same level of acceptance of the condition or habituation as she does.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    2. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Hi, Mentos, and welcome!

      I'm so sorry for your problems with noise-induced tinnitus, and can sympathize. My husband and I both have tinnitus, and have had it for many years. Mine was originally noise-induced, but it didn't bother me too much --- that is, until five years ago, when I took a blood pressure drug for the first time. Then, my mild tinnitus became severe, and I also acquired pulsatile tinnitus (heartbeat sound in the ear) at the same time. When that happened, I too experienced fear, anxiety, panic attacks, crying jags, etc. My husband was sympathetic throughout that whole rough period, and I'm so glad he was there for me during that time. However, I was sometimes jealous of him, because he wasn't experiencing any of the trauma that I was.

      Today, five years later, I am doing so much better, and have accepted my tinnitus. I'm living life again, in spite of the fact that I still have a high-pitched hissing ringing sound, and a pulsatile beat all the time. The key to it, I guess, is getting used to the new sounds, and giving your body and mind time to adjust to them. I still have good days and bad days, but things have improved considerably since this new level of tinnitus began.

      Overall, I would say that it helps to have a husband or wife with tinnitus, who can understand what you're going through, and support you through the bad times.

      Why is your wife not experiencing the trauma that you are? My opinion is that if the tinnitus is of gradual onset, you can adjust to it and accept it better than if it comes on suddenly, as yours probably did. It's that element of suddenness that made the difference for me, and probably for you, too.

      I would be interested to hear from other people who are in the same situation, who have a spouse or significant other who also has tinnitus.

      Take care, and I believe that things will gradually begin to improve for you. Habituation is a long, and sometimes slow, process, but it can happen!

      Best wishes,
      Karen
       
      • Like Like x 1
    3. Fangen
      Monday blues

      Fangen Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Stockholm, Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2nd, 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma (loud concert for 1h)
      Hi!

      My boyfriend has T, noise-induced like mine. He have had it for several years, since his mid-teens (he is 24) and I got my T just 3 weeks ago. He has never gone through the hell I am doing, like many others on the onset of T. He habituated more or less instantly, much is due to his mindset. He feel that a good concert is worth suffering T for, for me I would have given away all the money I have to have silence again. I would give up cinemas, dining out, cafées and concert for the rest of my life. But yes, it's hard to talk to him sometimes since he cannot understand the pain I go through. He tries but since he doesn't feel that his T is causing him any issues or feeling bad about it, he really just go about his day and that is it. While I want to sit in the corner of my shower and just hold my head and feel like I am going crazy.
      It does feel some how better that we both have T, it's easier to talk to someone that still kind of knows what it is like. I wish we didn't have to have it but mainly it's just me, suffering for no reason..
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    4. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      @Fangen Tinnitus is a common condition that many people habituate to quite easily. Only when it becomes loud and intrusive does it start to be a problem. If a person hasn't experienced loud intrusive tinnitus it can be very difficult for them to understand. This is why some healthcare professionals (not all) have a cavalier attitude about it and are quick to dismiss tinnitus as a minor irritant, that everyone should eventually be able to get used to or simply ignore it!
      Michael
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    5. Tamika
      No Mood

      Tamika Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      One loud indoor concert
      My husband and I both have T. I acquired mine this year after attending a concert in a small venue in April. I'm not a loud music person and did not know the risks. Due to the style of music we did not expect the concert to be loud. I booked seats because my husband wanted to go - and our seats were front row. I lost hearing from this 2 hr concert and got T. I had been married for 7 years and did not know my husband had T until this happened. He has had it since his 20's and it came on very gradually and he was so habituated he said he just forgot he had it. My husband did not know the risks either which surprised me as I thought he would be more aware if he already had T and likes loud rock music. I guess he thought you have to play for years in a rock band.

      I don't find it easier because he has T. In some ways its harder because he does not have a problem with it so its hard for him to understand why I'm still struggling, and he just says I will habituate soon. I actually think it can be harder if your partner has T and has not gone through a negative response, and also if he does not want to talk about it because it draws his attention to it. My husband said he notices his a lot of the time now since I got mine. I can accept that, but I also strongly suspect he sustained more hearing damage that night of the concert which has made his T worse.

      I have met others (my husband's friends) who have T as well. They all got it gradually and had no emotional response and they also don't seem to understand those that do.

      I have found close friends without T to be more empathetic and understanding and I have found the best information and support from the wonderful people on this forum, because they are the only ones that truly understand the emotional impact.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
      • Like Like x 1
    6. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. Jptsr1

      Jptsr1 Member

      Location:
      New Jersey
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/1992
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Music, Guns, Q-Tips
      Wouldn't wish it on my wife for the world but at least i would not have to sleep with headphones anymore.
       
    8. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      Both myself and husband have tinnitus ,mine since 96,husbands since 84,mine has been worse since 10 yrs ago ,after I took paracetamol for a bad head virus ( 4months duration) .Look back with regret ,simple paracetamol which people take regularly,beggars belief .
       
      • Like Like x 1
    9. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      @Marlene Hi. Are you under the care of ENT. Can you please tell me if you know what caused your tinnitus? Hearing loss or caused by loud noise?
      Michael
       
    10. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Just got to know from my sister that she has a tinnitus too which she always had as she remembers. She treats it as something absolutely natural, she never went to any doctor looking for help since she is not bothered by it by the slightest! I tend to agree with Karen that T onset suddenness is the key to understand why it's not an issue for people who always had it while it can be depressing after the onset for others.
       
    11. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      I never had ear issues in my life. Then in an anxiety/stress moment, my T started like hell. High-pitched tones, loud, unmaskable. No time to adjust to this or habituate slowly. Like most here I know many people who have no problems with their T. Also many people say: Ah tinnitus, yes I have that too. No problem with it. And you are even more frustrated since you cannot cope.

      The reason is IMHO that T is not T. Mild T or T which is covered by normal environment noise, is totally different from severe, loud T. It is a different if you have a faint sound or a dentist drill, dog whistle or drilling machine in your head.

      The problem is that with milder T you can still function. You can work, do sports, enjoy, relax and you can balance your life. With loud T, it is coping and you need to adjust. When I am doing sports (running), my T makes an extra buzzing every step. This takes so much energy. Nevertheless I force myself to go. Because sitting at home is even worse.

      Or your tension is so high that normal functioning is very difficult. Losing jobs, losing friends etc. can bring you easily into a depression and anxiety. And once you are in this deep hole with depression, anxiety, exhaustion and severe T, this is hard to escape. I really try living a normal life. Do my job as good as possible, being outside as much as possible, going to cinema, going out, do exercising. Nevertheless the anxiety and depression is hard to live with. Therefore I am thinking about another AD helping me getting through it. Sorry for the rant.

      The goal is to climb out of the black hole one day.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Hug Hug x 1
    12. Robin mounter

      Robin mounter Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 6th 2015
      Hello!!
      This year has been the worst as I was introduced to tinntius a few months ago, I'm 11 and I've learnt to live with it. Fan at night is usually the best to get a good night sleep
       
    13. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      Michael ,sorry not got back sooner,no neither myself or my husband under ENT ,I've just given up .Ive got maskers on last visit ,no help from those ,have wondered if a hearing aid might help ,not that I've any deafness ,but Im on FB and few have mentioned aids on tinnitus site .Ive had T since the 90's ,my husband the 80's .mine began in menopause ,but no bother at all ,then just 10yrs ago I got a severe head virus I later went on to paracetamol went on to a change in T ,never been same since off the scale most days ,so paracetamol to the T ,my husband got his T whilsts in the Royal Marines ,he wears hearing aid for quite a time now .I see your along the coast from me ,my local ENT is at Poole Hsp .Never ever wore headphones Michael ,although my husband was a signaller for donkey years ,think that's where his must have began .Will say Im into year 5 now with having Mdds ( on a boat ) fine driving,just walking a nightmare and T going all at once .Think the Mdds from neck troubles I've had since head virus .Warm regards Michael !all best wishes for 2016
       
    14. Mike TerMaaten

      Mike TerMaaten Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 20, 2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2013 GMC Sierra pickup truck
      Guy.. this Website is SO incredible..


      I'm on the other side of T. I'm 38

      Got my T. in april 2013 ..it's taken quite awhile. Got my T. just before turning 35


      I got mine from GM Bulletin - PIT5166C ..High Pitched Sound from Dash in a 2013 GMC Sierra



      Mentos, i feel for you. PM me if you want.. i have advice
       
      • Winner Winner x 1
    15. Mike TerMaaten

      Mike TerMaaten Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 20, 2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2013 GMC Sierra pickup truck

      Being Outside as much as possible is one of the CHIEF things that's helped me.


      On the other hand........ GOING To the CINEMA ? I don't think so... Avoid all electrical audio.. it only aggravates and perpetuates the Tinnitus / Ringing in your Ears



      SideNote..... Tamika, amazing story
       

Share This Page

Loading...
If you have ringing ears then you've come to the right place. We are a friendly tinnitus support board, dedicated to helping you discuss and understand what tinnitus treatments may work for you.