Came Back to this Site After Almost a Year to Deliver a Message

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by surfANDmusic, Jul 31, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. surfANDmusic
      Approved

      surfANDmusic Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      I have come back to this site after almost a year to let you guys know that it does get better. I forgot my username/password for my old account so i have created this one. What pushed me to come back to this site and write this story is that I remember going through hell when I first got tinnitus and going on this site for about a few weeks in search for support, but mainly only finding horror stories, grief, and negativity that outweighed the "support", none of which was comforting. I figured that most people on here are stuck in some type of grief and emotional disturbance, and the people that have gotten better left because they no longer need support, so the negativity outweighs the positivity. So here it goes.

      A year ago, on August, after a series of attending festivals all summer long and being an audiophile listening to great music on headphones all my life (I'm 19), I developed a high pitched ringing and cricket chirping like sound in my left ear. I had already been going through a period of depression, anxiety, and paranoia due to a psychological crisis that had begun early that summer. I was living alone in an RV in the streets of a college town attending school full-time and working part-time. Due to the issues I was experiencing, I had become completely isolated from everyone. I had no friends, nobody to talk to, and was completely losing my mind. When tinnitus came along, it aggravated everything x100. I could hear it whilst at the library studying, over the professors voice, over the breaking waves in the ocean, and while sitting in my quiet, dark, lonely RV.

      I went to an ENT and learned that i had lost 15 decibels hearing in my left ear and that's what caused the tinnitus. All he told me was, "Goodluck." The next several months were hell. I was going through intense pain every day and was losing my mind. I had no support; nobody to talk to. Tinnitus aggravated the loneliness and intensified every other emotion I was experiencing, and those emotions; depression, anxiety, paranoia, fueled the psychological pain from the tinnitus in a negative feedback loop, like a snowball rolling down a mountain increasing in mass and velocity.

      I don't remember the exact date, but at around December of 2014 is when things probably begun getting better. When i finished the semester I decided to leave school and went back home. And it happened like this: after several months, I realized that I had gone countless days, and I mean numerous days were I did not notice the tinnitus. When I focused to hear it it was still there but it wasn't constantly screeching over everything like it always had been. It didn't get softer, nor louder, it was still remained at the same volume, but my brain developed a mechanism were is tuned it out. It no longer bothered me. My brain had habituated to it.

      I have seen this phenomena happen in another instance in my life. In the home that I have lived my entire life, other than the period of time I was away for college, we had a carbon monoxide/fire alarm system installed in every room in the house when I was at about the age of 10. The alarm system made a very loud beep regularly from room to room about every 30 seconds. It is so loud that you can hear it whilst walking on the sidewalk outside my house. Fast-forward 5 years to when im about 15 years old, and I bring a group of friends over. And everyone mentions the loud beeping sound. "Do you hear that? What is that?!" one friend comments. "Yeah what is that? There it goes again!" another one butts in. "What the hell are you guys talking about? I don't hear anything." I say confused. "There it is again! How can you not hear it? It's loud!". We all stay quiet and I focus all my attention on my hearing. It's so silent that the crickets chirping outside are audible. "It just happened again!" my friend exclaimed. And at this point I thought they were playing a joke on me because I absolutely did not hear a thing other than the cricket chirping outside. I strain my ears to listen once again and suddenly, "BEEEEP!" I had heard the phantom noise. And it WAS loud, they weren't lying. They even made comments like, "How can you sleep at night with that?". But for the last 5 years I had not heard the alarm. I wasn't even aware it made a noise. Within 5 minutes of this conversation I no longer heard it again. If I focused on it I could listen to it but as soon as my mind drifted to something else the loud alarm beep no longer existed. This is the extreme nature of how the mind works.

      A few things changed after experiencing tinnitus. I no longer listen to music at high volume on my headphones. I now carry a pair of decibel reducing ear plugs on a keychain attached to my jeans/shorts, and i'm more aware of taking care of my hearing. But I still go to festivals, I still dance, I still listen to music, and in fact I have begun producing music. I'm typing this out as I listen to a mixtape on my studio headphones. I remember seeing a lot of posts on here about people being absolutely worried about listening to music on headphones and no longer going out to music listening events, but that isn't necessary. You can still do that, just take some noise reducing ear plugs and take care of your hearing. Use your intuition to know when a situation is damaging to your ears. My tinnitus hasn't spiked. I remember having the thought that I could no longer enjoy music nor dance because it wouldn't be genuine. But I do listen to music, I do make music, and I do dance.

      It gets better guys, surfANDmusic out.
       
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    2. uae96
      Thinking

      uae96 Member

      Location:
      Dubai, UAE
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/14/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I'm 19 to , it sucks to know that we get tinnitus in our age , I guess we should take care of our ears better , I hope our friends know the consequences of tinnitus those who go to concerts / clubs / listen to music on high volumes , it's to much these days , I think people in the next 5-10 years people who are under 30 will have more tinnitus than older people that's what my doctor told me , but anyways man I hope you've learned from the mistakes and never repeated again , I promise My self I'll never ever go to a concert or club again in my life untill I die
       
    3. surfANDmusic
      Approved

      surfANDmusic Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      The best we can do is to educate people about the dangers of hearing loss. Wish you luck.
       
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    4. uae96
      Thinking

      uae96 Member

      Location:
      Dubai, UAE
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/14/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I've been educated about Hearing numerous times , so did most of students , but the thing is they never mention tinnitus and people just think "who cares if I lose little bit of hearing " so they carry on doing what they're doing that's the problem , they should do more warning on "TINNITUS" not just hearing loss , hope they do something about it , thanks ,
       
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    5. surfANDmusic
      Approved

      surfANDmusic Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      When i educate people about hearing loss i always mention tinnitus as well. It should be a rule of thumb because tinnitus isn't something most people are aware of.
       
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    6. Tamika
      No Mood

      Tamika Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      One loud indoor concert
      Awesome!! Thanks so much for coming back and sharing. You are right. More success stories really help those of us still struggling.

      . :thankyousign:
       
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    7. Cheza
      Wishful

      Cheza Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Oregon
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barking dogs/stress
      Not only that, they should educate them on what a nightmare tinnitus can truly be. I've known about tinnitus for as long as I can remember, but I always thought it was just a slight buzzing or humming sound. I had no idea what a horror show tinnitus can be in your brain. :eek:

      This is a video warning about tinnitus. Almost anyone listening to it would think, "That's not so bad, I can tune that out." So it's actually doing a disservice by not warning that tinnitus can be catastrophic, and affect your life in a major negative way. They also call it a ringing in your ears, and fail to mention that tinnitus can be central head noise as well.

      TINNITUS- Can you hear that?
       
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    8. Joeri

      Joeri Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2010
      Thanks vor your story. I am a Dutchman!
       
    9. John Meyers
      Artistic

      John Meyers Member

      Location:
      Chicago, IL
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      AC/DC Concert
      Nice post. Thanks.

      I actually listen to music now more than I ever did, not only to drown out my T but to get my mind off of it and enjoy the moment.

      Went to my first concert last week and had a blast. It was an outdoor concert and not screeching loud except for a couple parts in which I put my plugs in.

      I pray for those who are really struggling with T. -- It can be a bear. -- It is so important to eat well, exercise, stay busy, and keep reading the "success stories".
       
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    10. Ricardo1991
      Fine

      Ricardo1991 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Signs seem to point to head/ neck injury!
      Honestly, I just saw an ad that was talking about hearing loss. I'm like, hey! Why don't you tell them about Tinnitus!? haha that's scarier than the actual hearing loss. I wouldn't mind if my right ear just had trouble hearing lol
       
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    11. Ricardo1991
      Fine

      Ricardo1991 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Signs seem to point to head/ neck injury!
      Hi John!
      Good to see that you're doing good; I think we're finding our way out of this mess. For instance, I'm at work listening to some salsa music in the background. I've been keeping busy, going out to the park and exercising. It's great to see someone else improving with you. Anyways, hope you keep getting better friend!
      Ricardo
       
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    12. John Meyers
      Artistic

      John Meyers Member

      Location:
      Chicago, IL
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      AC/DC Concert
      Thanks Ricardo. Glad to see you are coping better as well!

      Sometimes, I will notice it out of the blue and get bummed but then remember that I didn't think about it for a few hours which is as good as not having it!

      Happy exercising! -- I'm running 2 to 3 miles every other day which I never did before Mr T.. :)
       
    13. Ricardo1991
      Fine

      Ricardo1991 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Signs seem to point to head/ neck injury!
      Hey! That's great. I do too, don't get me wrong. I still get sad and get angry but then I'm like, uff what's the point? So I sort of ignore it. Which is crazy because I didn't think it could be done when it first happened.
      Ricardo
       
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    14. Path Maker

      Path Maker Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic
      And I think this kind of shift is an important component in healing. To whatever degree we are going to heal, this kind of mental/emotional shift translates into an important overall physical shift, too. It's like that "ahhhh" feeling when you're overheated and you plunge into a swimming pool. It just feels ... better.
       
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    15. Ricardo1991
      Fine

      Ricardo1991 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Signs seem to point to head/ neck injury!
      I love that! Thank you, hope you're doing great too :)
       
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    16. Path Maker

      Path Maker Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic
      I am! I really am! Thank you, too! :)
       

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