Concentrating

Hey all, ive had tinnitus for about 6 months now and the first few months were hell. I dont need to explain, most of you know what I mean. My T is very variable, from low, to audible over the noise of my car on the highway.

Im slowly started to get used to it. I stopped using Alprazolam (was taking very low doses, i didnt taper), still using Mirtazipine for sleep.

One thing that still bugs me is that my T gets higher when I concentrate a lot. This could be work, but also just playing a video game. Anyone have similar experiences? Im wondering if it could be posture related. Or muscle tension. Or maybe it's just brain chemistry

 

I think i have it too. At work the sound is more present. Do not know why that is. But driving my car i do not hear it.

 

I can definitely relate.

I can barely remember the feeling of enjoying deep focus and indulgement into programming, but I think that the increase in tinnitus occurs everytime one tries to indulge "into another world" (it can be a fictional story, you want to follow, a formula, you want to solve, or a design pattern, you want to understand, etc).

I think that this human process of deep focus tells the brain to dampen input from your 5 senses (since it is not the "real world", you are interested in in the process).

Unfortunately it carries the sad truth, that the tinnitus will not be dampened, and it now takes up a lot more space compared to the rest of our senses stimuli. It will simply be left there alone with you like an awkward moment in an elevator with a stranger.

Having this condition makes you wish, that you were born an extrovert

 

Exactly Mal. Im a coder (well, amongst other things) myself as well, and concentrating on writing code is not really the best for my T. Same with gaming.

 

Mine is the same too, if I think too hard it gets louder, and my head pain (which started the same time as the T) increases as well. I've noticed for the first couple of minutes when I wake up, I have virtually no T and no pain, but when fully awake and brain has "switched on" it all goes wrong again!

 

This is driving me insane, I can sit and stare, walk/run, eat, sleep, hold a conversation at times, this is about it. As soon as I start to use my brain I might as well have people shouting at me trying to break my concentration.

I get angry very quickly to the point that I feel like I'm going to snap when things aren't working. I normally just have to walk away and leave them. I could smash my computer if I have to navigate a website for more than a minute or i have to reset a password or something This is all becasue I'm irritated to no end with my tinnitus, it has my brain 99 percent occupied. Even driving, I feel totally distracted. Driving around completely on edge is not nice. I normally end up cranking my music to try and relax a bit which makes things worse in the end for obvious reasons.

I'm pretty much useless, it's been two years now and it's not getting easier. Everything is getting harder, things are left undone or half done and are building up.

My brain does not want to work with screaming in it. I mean it's not normal. i feel like a complete freak with this madness blasting 24 7. Sitting with people acting like I'm in the moment when I'm spaced out and being f//ked with mentally is aweful

This is jut such a bizzare problem, it's still hard to believe that it is real. I would have never anticipated all the issues it would cause at onset.

Sorry for being negative, I'm just so frustrated with myself. I don't want to be remembered like this. People in my life will forget what I was like before T. I don't like this new me, I hate him.