Control the Controllables

Hey all,

The point of this post is to inspire some of you who feel like giving up on yourselves because you feel physically broken. The truth is, tinnitus is not the end of your life - it's another event that we must deal with, like a death in the family or a serious injury you must overcome. Everyone deals with bad situations in life, but it's how you overcome them that let's you prove to yourself what you're capable of.

In my case, I've always been physically out of shape and it always bothered me. I was terrible at sports even though I loved playing them. I could not run more than 15 feet without being winded. In fact, when I was 11 years old, I was, not even joking, 207 pounds at my fattest. At 11 years old. This is what I looked like:



My diet at the time consisted mainly of Sprite + other junk food (candy, pizza, burgers). These foods are not inherently evil, however, they were my main diet sources. I had terrible intestinal issues and severe constipation that required constant medication to resolve. My parents were worried so much that they sent me to fat camp. It cost them a ton of money, but it was ultimately worth it as it taught me to not eat so poorly. As I began eating less and less, my body fat dropped quickly. By the time I was in college, I was down 40 pounds.

However, even for years after, I was nowhere near I wanted to be physically. In 2008 (my second year of college), I went on spring break with my brother. As you will see, I was in pretty mediocre shape. While many Americans may be happy to be in the state I was in here, I certainly was not. This is a picture of me from that time:



I may look like I'm having a good time, but I was still very self-conscious about my physical shape. It was easy to look at the other guys & girls in Panama City Beach, Florida and realize how far behind them physically I was. I've always wanted to look and be athletic, and that was simply not the case then. This was the state of things for me throughout college and into the beginning of my working career.

Fast forward to January 2013 when I got my tinnitus. I don't have any pictures of myself then, as it was such a dark time that I wasn't really interested in taking photos of myself. However, an aspect of myself that I cannot deny is that I will fight through things even when things are bleak. I had been so obsessed with tinnitus that I couldn't even care about the rest of my physical well being - a very bad thing to do. I plateaued in my fitness entirely. Realizing that this state of mind is not healthy, I became determined to up my physical game - I may not be able to control my auditory system all that well, but I know I can control myself physically. This is what I hope you take away from this post - control the controllables. You can't focus on things out of your control. This advice applies to so many things in life. My parents always said that to me, and at this particular time in my life, it was the advice I needed most.

For the past 5 months, I've religiously tracked my caloric intake and focused on healthy eating. I work out in the gym 6 days a week doing either cardio to help my heart health or weight lifting to improve my physique. I've learned that focusing on technique and controlled movements are the path to strength and stability. My body has changed dramatically as a result, and this is in-spite of having tinnitus for the past 4 years. I have not let it stop me from succeeding in the areas I know I can. As of two weeks ago, this is what I now look like.



I'm 165 pounds and I feel great. When I play sports now, I'm one of the most athletic people involved. I can run a 5k like it's nothing. Activities that would wind and knock me out are a breeze these days. It's been a huge change for me and has benefitted me in so many ways.

It's likely you are unhappy with certain aspects about your body - certainly everyone on this forum would prefer to have no tinnitus, but we only have so much control over it. Do not let your limbic system get out of hand because of the stress. You may not be able to control your auditory system, but you can manage how it stresses you to a great extent, and you have a lot more control over your body than you realize. I know this is true because of where I'm at now.

Am I in perfect physical shape? Not in my opinion, and I'm ok with that. Is my tinnitus loud? Some days, it seems like it drowns out the world. That will not stop me from controlling what I can and moving forward. I've proven to myself that I can reach the goals I desire.

I sincerely hope you all do the same for yourselves. You can do it.

 

excellent !!!

 

Same here. Thank you in advance for my future look. Your post convinced me to hit the gym soon. Because I get pulsatile T when I make an effort I started to avoid physical exercise and that fact became visible. On top of that I read that besides rest there is nothing that can help T, another reason for me to become sedentary. When i lost my silence i did not care for anything else and i let myself lose everything else (and i mean everything, not only the right weight). Bad reaction, but i was so devastated. That will change. I will get back whatever I can.

 

This is inspiring. Even before T I was very unhappy with my body. But T has changed me in many ways.

Things I used to be afraid of before T:
Death by car accident
Strangers
Going outside because of bugs
Getting robbed
People staring at me / very self-concious

...I'm sure I had some general anxiety. But after T I'm like..screw it! I only have one life and I need to LIVE!!!

 

You are not alone! I also have really bad anxiety problems, which T certainly made worse.

I realized very recently that controlling the stress is the path to calmness for me, not controlling my T. I don't know if I will or will not always have tinnitus for the rest of my life, but it's become clear to me that this does not even matter - what matters is whether I'm in control of my emotions or not. And I realized, I can and will discipline my mind. It certainly helps a lot.

 

@Champ How much of a typical day do you still notice/get bothered by T?

 

I notice it everyday, most prominently in the morning and after work. Oftentimes it cuts through any ambient sound I have going. But I've started to actively feel out the rest of my nervous system when that happens, and honestly, it makes a difference in my conscious state. I'm still hearing it, but not listening to it.

 

My 15Khz tone is fairly recent in both ears normally not super loud but I hear it the whole of the day. I'm also working to reduce its effect on my emotions, work, and life but its a hard process. Hope to be success within a couple years. Its silly and I know not helpful to the acceptance process but I wish I had some other lower freq that would make it easier to sleep.

 

inspirational body!

 

Hello hahaha

Man, congratulations, happy for you.
just one question.
ive read somewhere that doing abs could damage or worsen tinnitus.
ive been wanting to do them, how do you work your abs?

 

I think the problem with abs is that it can cause stiffness in your neck if you don't support your head with your hands while doing them. I noticed this in my case at least. And that stiffness can have effect on T for some people.

 

Can you elaborate on how to do it correctly, please?

 

I actually have never done ab work It's literally all diet to expose those bad boys. Like I said in my post, I have kept track of my caloric intake each and every day for the past 5 months. I already had muscle underneath the fat, and by keeping up my exercise routine while eating less and less, I eventually got to them. It definitely takes time... and they became even more prominent now that I've started eating bigger meals (intentionally to gain more muscle). Your body will look different day to day even if your weight doesn't change just because of how your body composition changes. The ratios of fat/muscle/water are really not consistent just because our bodies are constantly cycling.

And honestly, lifting has never had a negative impact on my tinnitus. However, I have refocused my training on flexibility because I have weak shoulders compared to my chest & back muscles and recently injured my right shoulder. But I will come back even stronger... I'm working with a personal trainer now.

 

So your ribs were mistaken as abs.
Anyway, your progress is commendable.

 

Those are my external oblique muscles. Some people like me have really prominent ones, especially if you swim a lot. I was constantly swimming when I was younger. Mine show up far before my abs do when I'm cutting. If you felt them, you'd realize they are just puffy looking muscles and not bone

 

Well, the problem of stiffness only comes if you do it this ways:


or this way:



Or with your arms crossed on your chest like this:



But if you "support" your head like this:



you avoid this problem.

BUT, you should only support it slightly and not push it forward, it must remain in its natural alignment as much as possible

 

@Champ Oops, I read just the first line, not your whole post, where you say that you had muscles under the fat layer.

 

Yep, your abs will develop automatically when you do most other exercises, since they stabilize you for a majority of body motions. You just have to work the fat off to expose them once you think you're developed enough to show them to the world.

 

Just coming in here to say you have a great body. Keep up the good work.

 

great post mate!

 

@Champ Congratulations champ and very well done. Keep up the splendid work.