Ok, so to be quick and not bore the pants off anyone, it's been 13 days since I fell apart, nearly done something silly with no help from the medical profession, got more help and support from kind people on here who actually saved my life. Being a perfectionist I thought was great, I'm a survivor who is strong and achieved loads the unconventional way, so when this happened I didn't want to live, in this short time I researched to find there is no cure, looked for a quick way to end it, and even that's not easy! Family and friends obviously gave tremendous support but life goes on for them. I took advice from the POSITIVE saints on this forum!!!!! Calmed my nervous system with first diazepam which turned me into a zombie who couldn't sleep, then replaced with a herbal alternative called zenphorol, then I read a few recommend books on why my head has these noises, very hard when you cant concentrate, yesterday a book called F**k it! Oh boy that definitely worked for me! Now I'm more relaxed the noises have dropped a level, I'm reallllllly positive and on top of all that I can see this happened to me to look at life differently, my body is aching and tired but that's natural after so long without sleep! I'm definitely getting there, today the December sun is shining I can hear the birds outside waiting for the daily feed , and if it's all too loud and the family make a mess at my perfect house at Xmas I'm just going to wear my ear plugs take a chill pill and say F**k it!!!!!