Dear Fellow Tinnitus Sufferers, Stay Positive!

Tinnitus got you down?

That's completely understandable, sometimes life just throws crap at you and it's more than logical you are feeling down now. Just remember that nothing is permanent, feelings do change, as will our feelings toward tinnitus. It's just a long and tough process but in due time we will get there. Because of tinnitus I pretty much lost my job (luckily not my income as in the Netherlands we have great social security), there is immense pressure on my wife and surroundings, my friends are nowhere to be seen and I can't even be the father I want to be for my 14 month old son, I have always been a very strong guy who kick boxed and lifted for over 12 years but now I fear going out the door sometimes.

On top of that my dad passed away only a year or so ago and I'm apparently suffering from a burnout according to my GP. Thing is I refuse to believe things won't get better, with or without tinnitus. What tinnitus has taught me thus far is that I was living life far too stressful, that I took things for granted and I was stuck in a cycle of fighting to survive. Sometimes life gives us things that our current coping mechanisms can't deal with and it makes us crash and burn, fighting does not work with tinnitus because you can fight all you want in the end it's still there.

Many people have tinnitus but do not suffer, in fact 75% of people with tinnitus do not have a strong emotional response to it, most of us on this forum however do not belong to that group, heck I can't even get through the day without Xanax right now ...

That does not mean that we will always stay like this, because this, unlike tinnitus, is a choice.

We can work on changing our emotional response to tinnitus by countering it with positive action instead of fighting it and part of the process is also being fearful and having doubts and facing these fears. Only last week I had bouts of extreme fear and literally felt like I was going to die. Strange enough by going through this we also learn a valuable lessen, fear does not kill.

By accepting it and letting it be, (accepting does not mean you like it, it means you no longer fight it) we train our subconscious mind that tinnitus is not a threat. By countering with positive (low stress) actions we teach our subconscious mind to relax when we hear tinnitus.

With practice and patience this mindset will lead to habituation. In this way and in due time our subconscious will consider it less and less of a threat but this typically takes substantial time and will take anywhere from 6 months to some years. This is 100% real because I have met many people who have gone through this process. In the end it is not the tinnitus that is the problem, it is our emotional response to tinnitus.

Once we learn the skills to cope with tinnitus we will pretty much have the skills to cope with any emotional issues.

The faster we try and have a positive mindset though and realise how intertwined tinnitus is with the central nervous system and is not purely a auditory issue the better and the sooner we learn to accept it and focus on wellbeing of the mind which in the end is the only way. Perhaps in due time the tinnitus will even fade into the background but once we are fully habituated I doubt this will even be important to us anymore. In any case it will no longer bother us and we will be able to live normally again. I also believe once we no longer suffer from tinnitus it will not pre-occupy our mind and perhaps in due time will even fade from perception. Which to me is as good as being cured.

Don't know if you already seen his videos but I swear by Julian Hill's views on tinnitus, I was not one for all the zen like rhetoric but then again my current mindset up til now landed me in this position to begin with ...

Habituation and How People Get Better with...

Perhaps these can ease your mind a little bit during this tough time.

I also found this thread on TT which I find very inspiring:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/my-positive-story-and-insights-to-habituation.21794/

Let me say I am in no way all knowing or that I even have remotely habituated yet however I firmly believe that a positive mindset is the main instrument that will get us through!