Does Anyone Feel Like They Have to Act at a Job or Life to Get By?

Discussion in 'Support' started by SeekIngAlpha, Sep 4, 2016.

    1. SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      Does anyone feel like they have to act @ job or life to get by? I mean pretend that all is fine and concentrate on work and have a good attitude?
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    2. racerfish
      No Mood

      racerfish Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2005
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / T worsened with antiobiotics
      Sometimes. Only very close friends and family know about my T. I feel as if most people don't understand it since I look visibly fine. Otherwise, at work I have to be "on" or everyone will start asking me what's wrong, and I don't feel like going there with coworkers.
       
    3. volsung37

      volsung37 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014
      Its getting very difficult to act now.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
      • Hug Hug x 1
    4. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      Can you guys mask your t? Sometimes i play masking sounds from my phone if ifs quiet.
       
    5. Alue
      No Mood

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      No.
      Do sounds from your phone actually mask it for you or just distract?
       
    6. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      This track i got from itunes which is cricket sounds and a river seems to totallt mask it on low volume.
       
    7. OnceUponaTime
      Facebooking

      OnceUponaTime Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Allergies or Acoustic Trauma, Stress
      Yes, most of the time, act "as if"... . No one can really understand. You must keep moving forward with life. Pain or no pain... struggles or no struggles. Having a good attitude helps a lot...even when it is hard to have a good attitude. Look for the good in that day in the people around you. Before t. my life was passing me by...now I really feel the days, the time...life. Everyday is so real and intense with t. I cannot even describe the load we bear....it touches every aspect of your life deeply...emotional, mental, spiritual and physical. Anyways I am babbling now... yes I am sure some of us act as if because there is really nothing else to do... unless you want to cry and whine about it to everybody and that is not a healthy option. Speak life, speak health, speak joy for your life.

      Chin up, better days are coming. :)
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    8. JasonP
      No Mood

      JasonP Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2006
      Today I did. It was the most miserable day I think I have had all year. Instead of trying to sleep I faced the day and it was brutal but tonight isn't so bad. Part of my problem is that I have had depression issues for a while and I am going through a benzo withdrawal/tolerance problem. Bad week this past week. Time will tell what happens in the future though. I was doing great last month..in fact probably one of my best months in years.
       
    9. Lorac

      Lorac Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden profound hearing loss in left ear.
      I have had to fake it to make it with tinnitus. This was particularly true for me during the early months. I had to fake happiness for the sake of my family, especially my grandkids. I really just wanted to die.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    10. Alue
      No Mood

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I feel this way increasingly more and more. Going to an interview was painful because it's a quiet room and this damn ringing makes it hard to focus on the conversation. I went to a funeral the other day and that was very uncomfortable as well. It's quiet so the ringing is loud then the pastor got up and spoke loudly into a microphone. Going out to eat at a restaurant is a challenge too. It was loud enough I wanted to put in my earplugs, and I did for a little bit, but then it seems like you are being rude doing that so I took them out.

      I'm really having a hard time dealing with this. Loud T and H is a nightmare. It really is an invisible disability even though no one but those that suffer from it think of it as such.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    11. Bobby B
      Fine

      Bobby B Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term NIHL and recent acoustic trauma
      If you have very sensitive eyes then it's not rude wearing sunglasses - same for ears I won't go out wihtout some kind of hearing protection it does not bother me at all wearing plugs or muffs .

      Yes life is less fun than before that's sure but so what , no ones notices your different and the job who cares anyway most People only think about themselves
       
    12. Alue
      No Mood

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You protect your hearing a lot. Doesn't your tinnitus just scream with earplugs in? Mine does.
       
    13. Bobby B
      Fine

      Bobby B Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term NIHL and recent acoustic trauma
      Yes it does scream so what ? I have To accept it and try to move on. I can hear it wihtout plugs just fine as well.
      I won't accept a worsening though - hence the protection .
      Besides I want my brain to get used to more hearing loss than what I actually have and forget about those lost frequencies so plugs may help in the long run
       
    14. Kar4
      Not worthy

      Kar4 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2005
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      Absolutely. Today my condition went so bad, that I left work early to see a doctor. Of course, tomorrow people will be interested what is going on.
      What can I say? "Yeah, im fine." or "It will be better", for sure. Why telling the people "It will bothers me until the end of my life and there is no cure" while there is no way how they can help. Also have no clue how I realy feel.
      They surely noticed I act strange sometimes, feeling edgy, sitting with my head in palms can't concentrate on work. Probably they think it is just my nature.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      What techniques is anyone using to get by at work?
       
    16. Jacob83
      Balanced

      Jacob83 Member

      Location:
      Wisconsin
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2000
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud headphones
      I work in a team oriented workplace and I'm pretty friendly with most of my coworkers, so lately I've just been asking them more and more about what they've been up to and how things are going. Keeps my mind off the T even if it's just for a few minutes. A few minutes is still a few minutes.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    17. JasonP
      No Mood

      JasonP Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2006
      I kind of need more information. How loud is your T (what can mask it) and are you taking any medications at all right now?
       
    18. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      No meds. Loud. I really need to say zero to people about it because its never helped me in any way. I exception is really close friends and family and even then its disaster. I have to vow not to talk to anyone except a therapist or 1 close feiend from now on. Its harder than t rhe not sharing
       
    19. JasonP
      No Mood

      JasonP Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2006
      Wow that is horrible. Is there anything you know of that can lower it temporarily? Also, how was this T caused?
       
    20. PaulBe

      PaulBe Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Cairns
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably sound, though never proven
      It really is an invisible disability because no one but those that suffer from it think of it as such. Fixed.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    21. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      T didn't ruin my life complaining to people about it did. Ended up nearly hospitalised from stress of t. Pretending to be ok and able to wrk sith it is hard. I think positivity is great but its an act for me. If I can let off steam in this forum that helps me.
      Alot of people say stay off the forum if you feel down about t but I feel the opposite. Forum should be for support.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    22. JasonP
      No Mood

      JasonP Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2006
      Wow that is horrible. Is there anything you know of that can lower it temporarily? Also, how was this T caused?
       
    23. Dana
      Busy

      Dana Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not known, too many possible causes
      Great question. I do that now, otherwise I am excluded from the crowd. People do noT want to hear about it, I am regarded as obnoxious when I mention T, if I mention it too much they go away. We have to keep it our secret, unfortunately. Not even my family cares.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    24. Kar4
      Not worthy

      Kar4 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2005
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      Yes, people don't like to listen to complains. But it is understandable... there is something like a negative energy around you and people feels like it is infectious in some way. Even most empathic person withdrawns, once he understand that there is no way how he can help.
      Everyone likes positive, happy and funny people, depressive and handicapped people remaining like outsiders - it's logical and it's the way this world is.
      Maybe I am just adapted to it. As far as I remember (before T), always tried to fit in society, being positive, making jokes of everything around. Although it is not easy and my face is peaky most of the time. People likes me for my sense of humor (I think so).
      Only when alone, it is time for tears.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    25. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      I used to joke and have a sense of humor. Somewhere along the line I lost that. For me t alters my personality. No doubt.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    26. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2003
      I thought t was gone at one point but it came back. Still practicing meditation I learnt via neurofeedback and it is helping.
       
    27. Michael910411
      Pensive

      Michael910411 Member

      Location:
      Washington, DC
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unexplained destruction of left auditory/vestibular nerve
      I have seen a few posts that talk about hiding the fact that you're suffering with T from co-workers or even friends. I agree 100% with Kar4's observation that others like happy people, not people who complain, however I have noticed many times that when I do share, the result is that I wind up hearing about people they know who are also suffering! It is comforting to hear about others in your own work/peer group that share this experience, if only to know that you are not so alone, so isolated, or so strange. I think perhaps it is how and when you bring it up that makes the difference both in your own perception of 'complaining' as well as your audiences' perception of being put in an uncomfortable position...meaning, there is a time and place to mention it.

      My T is a result of sudden, complete hearing loss on my left side, so I have an easy opening to mention that there is an issue when I have to re-position my seat when talking with someone. I usually say "Sorry, I can't hear on this side so I'm going to switch spots with you". People will usually make some sort of comment, and I follow it by saying "Yeah, all I hear on this side is an obnoxious high-pitched ringing." I started a new job 7 months ago, and when I said that to my new boss, his face lit up and he said "Tinnitus! My brother has that!" and we talked about it for a while. Fortunately he was kind enough to remember the conversation and would ask me how I was doing from time to time. And it works the other way, too. I was sitting in the lobby of my building talking with someone at the front desk and a resident...when the resident said "Sorry for asking you to repeat yourself, I have this tinnitus condition that makes it hard to hear." My hand almost reflexively shot up and I said "Hey, me too...". Turns out he was a medical lawyer who kept up with various research and interacted with doctors on a daily basis. The only thing he suggested was a particular Gingko extract which apparently started helping him after taking it for about 2 months.

      The unexplained nerve damage I suffered resulted in complete hearing loss as well as severe damage to the vestibular function on the left side (which means I am dizzy all the time), and vestibular migraines. I go between "I can handle this and nobody needs to know" and "It is ridiculous not to get some basic human understanding and compassion for this suffering". I try to balance those two viewpoints based on the situation.

      In terms of managing work, I have used my iPhone to record meetings when I knew there would be a lot of details that I might miss because I couldn't hear. I replay the meeting later and transcribe the notes to make sure I didn't miss anything. I also, unfortunately, have needed to use a lot of my personal time to do work I couldn't complete at the office because of fatigue, etc.
       
    28. Frayact

      Frayact Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      After dealing with this for over 20 years, I've had many ups and downs with regard to the noise as well as the depression. I can go for up to a year without any roaring in my ears at all. That's when I (obviously) feel alive and hopeful. But when it returns, like it did a week ago, I begin feeling like a fraud again. I still go to the gym, and I'll look around and assume that everyone will go home to a quiet environment when they're finished with their workout. But I'll go home and have to contend with this loud humming in my head.

      My closest friends know I have tinnitus. Occasionally, they will ask me how I'm doing. I try not to bore them with details. I simply say that it's returned, or I've been T-free for x amount of months.

      Because of the nature of my tinnitus, it's very difficult to mask. A low-frequency hum that is very reactive to certain sounds. It's like a sleeping giant. If it's quiet, simple things like talking on the phone or strumming my acoustic guitar will increase the humming tenfold. There's got to be a reason why this happens. But after countless doctor visits and medical tests, it's a mystery I will most likely take to my grave.
       
    29. Gosia
      Balanced

      Gosia Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earplugs/ hearing loss
      I don't force myself to pretend things are fine if they're not, only I believe by socialisation we instinctively behave as if it was ok while being among people. Be that despite T or any other source of suffering. If I'm well enough to be around people, that means I will talk to them pretty positvely and surely won't bring up my tinnitus, unless the topic is mentioned or it gets too loud etc. If I feel like crap I will simply avoid being with people so I don't act up. Then again, I'm self-employed so I don't have to stand the burden of being smiling if I don't feel like in a professional situation. My family and friends know. If I talk to others about it I do it totally neutrally, without drama ( which is weird cause it's a total drama to me !! ) , but I simply inform them. I know many people who either make music or are huge fans and used to go to many concerts myself, so I kind of have to explain now and then why I don't anymore. As sb said , most of times people either know about the issue or tell me about others they know who suffer from that. Now and then sb tells me '' hey, me too! '' even though I guess I've never come across anybody who would have it intrusive, like mine. Still, I'm aware of the fact that the bitterness became a part of me but then again, I had many other reasons to be bitter, so this one just added up to the rest . People obviously don't won't to hear anything negative. You always have to be cheerful and ''ok'' , otherwise they'll probably avoid you, but I don't care ..To sum up I don't show off with my suffering and don't make a drama of it, but I won't pretend I'm happy when I'm not.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1

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