Does Tinnitus Change the Way You View Yourself?

Since tinnitus is not visible to others but affects your mood and behavior does anyone feel that they are no longer the same person they once were?

 

I do. I'm always looking back at my old self in that happy silent past and wishing I could be there again.

 

Tinnitus comes with lots of feelings as Ive posted down the board.
It can totally crush your confidence and hence make you feel bad about yourself .
We are not born with confidence so working hard on our feelings and pushing hard to widen our boundaries the tinnitus as caused like self a steam and confidence we can come through a low point in our lives managing cope with our tinnitus too...lots of love glynis

 

Yes for me it does. Don't want anyone to see me when I am having a bad spike day.

 

Oh yeah, the person I was prior to T is dead and gone. I'm left with this strange useless version of a person that is barely functional.

 

Sorry bro, I wish there was a way out.

 

There is so don't be hard on yourself.
Picture yourself in a pond and lots of rings round you like catching a fish .
Your life shrinks with social and emotional and physical withdrawal but start slowly to widen your life again and reason for getting up each morning looking forward to the day.

It can be done so chin up and start taking control back over your life that tinnitus took away.
We are in total control over what makes us happy so don't let your tinnitus take your smile and laughter away....lots of love glynis

 

Too late Glynis. Gone, along with career, drug-free existence and tolerance of the noise of others.

 

Forever.....

 

Absolutely not the same person. And, unfortunately, not for the better. It's just really hard to see things through.

 

Take control back how? I have what sounds to me like over a 100db nails on a chalk board (never a low day), can't mask, only try and distract. I also have H and constant ear pain. I can function for a couple of hours at a time and then I'm laying in the dark meditating and picturing things like you suggested.

Tinnitus hasn't taken my smile and laughter, I am a clown with my gf (partner), always goofing around trying to make her laugh.

What some people fail to recognize is that sometimes you cant take your life back, you just have to face reality and quit beating yourself up for not being able to take your life back, a positive attitude can only take you so far. It actually becomes exhausting people telling you that's it your fault and you can do better when you are at 110 percent already. I know they try and help by getting you fired up and cheerleading but sometimes there's just no gas left in the tank and it is what it is.

This condition can get bad enough where it is actually a legitimate disability. I'm sure in most cases (99 percent) this isn't the case but believe me it can get bad. My tinnitus has increased easily 100x in intensity through various forms of damage. Tinnitus can go from a walk in the park condition to a living hell where you fight every minute of your life.

 

T.I Feat Justin Timberlake - Dead And Gone...

 

Does it change the way I live???
Im basically an invalid. My whole life revolves around accomodating and trying to cope with my tinnitus.

 

It's fd up my career in music for sure. Im not going to lie, it's a tough, tough, tough thing.

 

Tinnitus changed a lot of things for me. I think mostly, it made me very aware of my own mortality. I'm rather young, so I think up until that point, encountering things I couldn't heal from, that inevitable decay of our mortal bodies, seemed very far away. So now, I think I feel both more weak and more strong, in different ways.

Getting tinnitus and not being able to fix it, losing control and losing myself for a bit, all of that actually helped me, I think, in the long run. I don't think you need to "take your life back" per se, for me it was letting go of needing to have control - because I can't always have it. Letting go of that, at least to the extent that I have at this point, has made me a little less afraid to face the future and whatever ills may meet me.

I did lose some things and I'm not the same person I was before, but I'm pretty happy with the person I am now, even if it's not necessarily as easy. We only have the circumstances we have right now. We just have to try and get as much out of our lives as we can within those circumstances. I'm going to quote my own footer quote: "This is our choice, in every moment, to accept our circumstances with bitterness or with openness." - my lady Pema. I'd like to add though, that for me, that quote isn't about being positive, it's about just looking at your circumstances in the eye and leaving room for possibility.

 

Yeah it has for me. I think the reason it has been so hard on me is because I had already been going through depression for two years before this, and it was when I finally started to feel better about my life that this happened. In less than a month that I went from finally starting to feel happy again to total depression and anxiety. Not only is it hard enough to deal with an annoying sound but then I have to think about all the ways I'll have to limit my life even more just so this stupid symptom does't worsen.

 

Please try look on the positive side if you can as it really helps by keeping your mood up .
I say that because I push every day to stay happy it doesn't come to you .

I will give you a little bit about me and what I face .
Ears blast 24/7 and never stop due to Menieres and get sick and dizzy spins and dizzy heads and sometimes fall over.
I have severe asthma and take my 4 inhalers a day and tablets and steroid treatment and nebulizer as needed and both conditions I have no control over and work part time.

I'm not saying this to feel sorry for me as I'm not that kind of person, it's only to show you what I face and why I push every day to stay happy and I am happy .....lots of love glynis

 

@glynis I think you are an excellent example, to have what you have and come out of it as you do, using it to help others. I truly believe that is what everybody with this should try and do. Don't see it as a barrier but a challenge to overcome and then use it to drive you to do something that makes a difference to the world.

I'm in a lot better position health-wise than you but if I wanted to I could let T consume me, mine is pretty loud and constant. It's that defiance that pushes you on to better things if you harness it, in my opinion.

To the original post, yes it did change the way I thought of myself but then I turned things around. I am as much my old self as I could be. Experiences change us so I am different but not in a way that I feel any sadness for.

 

Picture of me as profile cuts face in half so now you have a name to a face...lots of love glynis

 

Agree agree agree. Also @glynis - that's a lovely photo!

 

Thank you Steve and awbw8....lots of love glynis

 

Echo what @erik and @awbw8 and @Steve and @glynis have all said above (wow that an inspiring quartet of posts!) I am approaching my one year "anniversary" of T and I definitely feel different about myself in that I feel more confident about overcoming obstacles.

T has been the biggest obstacle of my life. I've been extraordinarily lucky to not have faced any major traumas before this in my life, so I am treating my T as a good "test run" for things that will inevitably come up in life--how I cope with them. And like @awbw8 said, it has given me a greater appreciation for how our bodies are mortal. I see other little signs of aging as I get older. I'm only 32 but I think back to when I was in my 20s and felt invincible and now know that that's not the case.

On the other hand, yesterday I volunteered at a booth where we did blood pressure screenings at our State Fair and got to chat with 80+ folks getting their blood pressure taken. Most of them were likely above 60 years old and many of them had higher blood pressures. And many of them who had higher blood pressure. And many of them had the same reaction to those numbers, many of them literally saying "I'll live!" If they can live with chronic illness with that attitude, I can live with tinnitus.

 

Great post marqueller.....not sure how tag names in a post from my phone or kindle fire ....lots of love glynis

 

I guess after 15 years it's a little hard to say; this shit is pretty ingrained. I suppose I see myself as slightly disabled -- that crossed my mind when I bailed out of a party I had been looking forward to after an hour last week because it was just too loud to deal with. However, the upshot of that was that it freed up my afternoon, which I then spent playing cards with a friend. So, as far as being perfectly healthy (which is true of fewer and fewer of my friends/family members as time goes on) this is a drag, but as far as disabilities go, it could be a lot worse.

I suppose that I also, on some level, probably see myself as a little more resilient and hardcore than I might otherwise. When someone gives me shit, or gives me an excuse for not doing something, there's a little voice in my head that says "hmm, well, I've got an always audible 14khz test tone floating through my consciousness, and I still get my work done and advance my career... what's your excuse?" -- but, I try to keep that in check, because it's exactly the sort of narcissistic ego boost that I don't really benefit from.

 

Depend how loud it is and how is your life circumstance.......

 

I used to have a very tough time concentrating when I first got my T. Prior to that I was a great multi-tasker who could sit down and finish many projects easily. It took me a while to get to a place where I could do that again- and I'm still not as efficient as I once was. It was really hard for me to accept that the T would inhibit my ability to work as well as I used to. But I'm slowly getting better at handling it, and I now focus a lot of my energy on helping myself find a cure. I definitely want to be able to have my great concentration skills back!

 

Just use the "at" symbol in front of the name, like @glynis

 

Ah now that is a point. I have difficulty concentrating a little but I find that it's with things that I'm really not interested in - if something has my mind then I'm totally fine. Having said that I've always drifted, I was made to sit at the front of one of the classes at school so the teacher could kick my desk when she saw me daydreaming out the window.