Don't Understand How People Survive This.

I have another thread I just posted, but I think the really important thing I wanted to say got buried in everything I said.

My tinnitus fluctuates. And no, I don't mean like it's 4 / 10 for an hour and then 8 / 10 for the next. I mean it's like morse code. As in when it decides to click / rattle / turn on, it's almost impossible to ignore. And in the meantime, in the 3 - 4 seconds inbetween, it's fine. But at its worst, it rattles continually. It's not a steady tone; it's a RATTLE. If you asked me to frequency-match the tone, I can't. It's an atonal rattle sound.

To me, it seems absolutely impossible to habituate to this.

On top of that, I've seen what people have written about their "morse code" tinnitus. And it's EXTREMELY grim. The best I see is that people say that it's "ruined their lives", but they're still alive.

Let's be super, duper honest with ourselves here. Humans live a lot longer than probably 99% of the living creatures out there. Is it really so ridiculous to allow ourselves to live a lifespan closer to those other living creatures who lived 20 - 30 years and just lost their lives into the ether?

It just seems so unreal to me that people on this forum, actually LOTS of people on this forum, come forward and say "yeah I've dealt with this for years. It's ruined my life". I lose 100% of my hope when I see stuff like that. Any good, rational person would understand that a person who suffers so horrifically and completely should not be expected to endure extreme suffering and would probably be better off meeting their inevitable demise much sooner. I guess I honestly don't know how the suicide rate of tinnitus sufferers isn't extremely high, and I'm having a really hard time convincing myself not to join their ranks.

 

Hey dudeguywithstuff, you been only having this for 2 months.
i think its hard to accept it, and cope the first months, many people dont even need to come to the forum seeking for support because they have habituated to the sound.
im still not there, but to be honest, i have had greeat days, where the sound is not the main thing in my life.
no matter what we face in this world, out missions is to keep moving.
we just cant let this get the best of us, there are many many people living with this condition and still enjoying their life.
if somebody could do it, we can do it.
iam not saying its a drag or easy, but nothing comes easy in this life.

ive been seen worse scenarios, like i just read about a normal healthy guy who got a "flu" and all of the sudden a bacteria attacked him, and he lost his 4 limbs, now he cant move, he is still greateful, about being alive and being able to see his kids.
that really touched me, if something like that cant stop ahuman from living, this wont get stop us.
lets just keep searching and fighting for a cure, and do our best to stay calm and enjoy our days.

 

@Mario martz thank you Mario. I so needed to hear that today!!!

 

I would give all of my limbs to be free of tinnitus.

 

im sorry you are struggling with it, i am aswell.
what bothers me the most is that tinnitus holds me down, from the things i enjoy the most.. and my independence.
i cant imagine being in a bed the whole day with out bein able to eat by myself, pee on my own, take a shower, go to the park, masturbate.
i dont know... i wouldnt trade places.

 

20+ years with T and I can not imagine my life without it...it is no longer an affliction but has become "me"...

 

I have to jets engine in my ears and a power transfer in my head for a year now and never going down I don't know what else to do.

 

Agreed, but I honestly might give two limbs, both legs, to be rid of this.

 

I hate people around me saying "What if you had cancer?" I know this may not sound right but I could give my life to have cancer without tinnitus. With cancer, you would live or die at the end. You will not suffer forever and people show respect to you when they know your illness. This T is pure torture and just because people don't see it they just don't understand. All of my friend said if they had this sounds in their heads, they would kill themselves. I lost my desire to live, breath, love, read, smile. I do want to die but I'm such a coward to do it. I wish God loved me even a little bit.. Nothing in my life is going well..

 

We all think that at first, but...no.

 

I have been drinking camomile tea lately and generally just relaxing. The t is still there but i am finding that i do not get as stresses about it. I have actually has this for a few years and seem to have become more aware/more focus on it. I think im through the worst of this "relapse" as i feel a lot more relaxed now. You can do it!

 

I still do after 5 years lol.