Feeling Guilty About Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Support' started by leelo, Jun 12, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. leelo
      Pacman

      leelo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      5/2014
      I caused my own tinnitus because I constantly listened to my headphones. I feel guilty because of it :( like wow i caused this on myself. Most people on this forum seems to have gotten it from something out of their control happening. But me its my fault. To be honest i didn't even know tinnitus existed. i listen to my music loud cause if my hearing wasn't the best i didn't care but i never would have thought that it would cause a constant ringing.
      Although i am doing pretty well with tinnitus, I just feel so guilty sometimes that i did this to MYSELF
      any tips on how to overcome my regret?
       
      • Hug Hug x 9
    2. washashore
      Fine

      washashore Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Massachusetts
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      You said it yourself, you didn't even know tinnitus existed, so how could you have prevented it? Don't be so hard on yourself. My tinnitus is from noise exposure as well, so I understand the feeling of guilt... "what if I didn't go to that concert..." The reality is, we are probably more genetically susceptible to tinnitus, so it would have happened at some point anyways. You can't control the past, so try not to obsess over it.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    3. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      I feel the same leelo. Took some ototoxic meds, once in 2007 and again in 2014...in 2014, I was educated about ototoxic meds, I should have checked before I took them....

      but things are getting better, I'm habituating to the louder T... hope you will too. xx
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    4. Grace
      No Mood

      Grace Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/14/2013
      Dont feel bad!!! I got mine from
      Being in a tiny room that was like 120-130 db from a tube amp.. I can like compare that to basically stickin my head in a PA system for 45 mins ..the damage it SHOULD have caused but i got real lucky and only was left with mild T. I know it was my fault and i blamed myself for a while but theres no need to blame yourself, ipods are in are generation EVERYONE uses them, i blasted the shit out of my ears my whole life and never knew of T either but now were all aware of noise and that we cant abuse it anymore so were better off then people that were like us who dont know about it and ofcorse wont listen to us if we tell them about T cause they think it will never happen to them.. But i predict 2025-30 that T will be doubled in people that theres gonna be good treatment coming so continue to keep yourself strong and are day will come :)
       
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    5. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      We all go through this, trust me. Even though mine is caused by fluid in my ear, I listened to headphones all the time before. I wonder whether if I hadn't used headphones as much, whether I had mild T that I didn't even notice and now it is louder because of the fluid... It's stupid to think like that, and for the most part I understand that I couldn't help getting the cold which, to be honest, is the likely culprit...but some days when my T is annoying me I wish I hadn't listened to music so often, and I wish that I had never gotten this cold...

      The truth is though, we couldn't have helped it. No one knows who will get T: there are musicians that never get it, while some who have had it for years. I think some people are just more likely to get it. I also did not know such a thing as tinnitus even existed - if I had I might have been more careful. But it's not OUR fault that the word about tinnitus isn't spread out enough. They should warn people at concerts and hand out free earplugs etc. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that you shouldn't feel guilty. If you had known about T you wouldn't have put your headphones in all the time - but as I said, no one told us. The best thing you can do is not to put your ears through concerts/clubs etc and if you use headphones, keep the volume down and only use it for an hour, maybe two at the most (or you might not want to use headphones at all. I still do because if I exercise I need music to push myself, but I never use them in the house like I used to). Just remember: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    6. Tenna
      Anime

      Tenna Member

      Location:
      Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      iPod, concerts, noise everywhere in society and lack of t/hearing awareness is such a huge part of culture.
      I too feel guilty and bitter for blasting my ears through half my life, though when I tell people about it the t, the mentality of "Well you're a musician"/you go clubbing/concerts" hence it is your own fault pisses me off greatly. The vast majority of the persons telling you that expose themselves to the exact same dangers, and even though it might be a cultural issue, both culture and people renders one with the feeling of guilt -.- as you tell them you weren't aware, what is left is your obvious stupidity T_T I mean hey, the wiseguys irl telling me 'everybody knows' can't even state how much exposure to a specific dB is actually dangerous.
      It's difficult to battle such with reason, thankfully the thought of "I shouldnt have done that" appears less and less with time to me atleast
       
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    7. Jay M
      Thinking

      Jay M Member

      Location:
      South Carolina, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      4/4/14
      I used to wear headphones only when i worked out for about an hour, 3-4x a wk. idk if that contributed to it or not. I went through (and still do) feeling guilt. I look in the mirror and sincerely apologize; and promise myself that I'll protect myself better from now. It helps and its all you can do to move on from any grieving.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    8. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      I love your writing style. Lucid and (kind of) clear... :)
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    9. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      Yeah ...same here , took ototoxic meds and listened to too loud music, and took Ibuprofen, and ate a bag of doritos.:p
      Its normal to feel guilty but its also normal to make mistakes. I felt that I was making yet another mistake by blaming myself ..so I dropped it.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    10. washashore
      Fine

      washashore Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Massachusetts
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      • Funny Funny x 2
    11. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      Aminoglycosides (-mycins) and Fluoroquinolones (Cipro) should come in packaging marked with a safety warning. It is not sufficient that the side-effects are listed on the instructions found inside the packaging; no one ever reads those as the medicine has already been prescribed by a doctor (at that point). If the packaging for opioids can be marked with a safety warning, then why not certain antibiotics? Doctors tend to assume that what they prescribe is safe - but it isn't (always)*. And so the patients themselves are the only - and last - line of defense.

      *I recall the look on my GP's face when she sent me for a CT scan in 2011 after a Herpes Zoster/Shingles infection (= 200 times the radiation levels of an x-ray). I came back with the results of an MRI scan instead - and she went "Hhmmm, I thought I sent you for a CT scan, didn't I...?". I replied "You did, but... I changed it!" :)
       
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    12. LadyDi
      Busy

      LadyDi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barotrauma/airplane
      Hey @leelo: Be kind to yourself… it’s stressful enough, dealing with tinnitus! For starters, you have tons of company: noise exposure is the most common cause of T. And you are not at “fault.” As others said here, emotionally beating ourselves up is something many of us do in the beginning. I got my tinnitus from barotrauma following a long plane flight. I kept going obsessing about why it happened and my role in it: WHY did I take that vacation to Italy? WHY did I believe my ENT, when he said it is was safe to fly, when I knew I was having sinus trouble?

      I think why we do this is because, in general, people subconsciously think that there must be a reason for suffering (a recurring theme in Western religions). We think its punishment because we have been a bad person, or because we were careless. We think we should be in control and be able to prevent our suffering. But the reality is that sooner or later, suffering in some form comes for all of us (something that Eastern religions accept), regardless of all our good intentions. We never have total control -- although there certainly are steps we can take to live safer, happier lives – and have to accept that. We then can deal with what we can control, including how we work through our suffering.

      My tips on overcoming your regret: Be gentle to yourself. Don’t judge yourself. Be at peace and embrace how far you have come already regarding dealing with your tinnitus. Accept your tinnitus and understand you can’t control everything in your life, no matter how hard you try, that difficult things happen to all of us . Think about what your tinnitus has taught you. Be proud of what you already have learned, and how far you have come in getting better.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    13. Denny

      Denny Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 2013
      @leelo
      We all wish we could have done something differently to prevent our tinnitus.
      We can not change anything even if we knew what the cause was(many don't). Yours is
      still in the acute stage you can still look forward to it going away or getting a lot
      better. A lot of us have passed this point and left with only disappointment.
       
    14. jazz
      No Mood

      jazz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      eardrum rupture from virus; barotrauma from ETD
      Self-knowledge is our only defense! Don't count on your physician to protect you from ototoxic drugs. The only ones that might be aware of ototoxicity are ENTs and neurotologists. And, unless they remember to check your chart, might also prescribe ototoxic medications.
       
    15. jazz
      No Mood

      jazz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      eardrum rupture from virus; barotrauma from ETD
      Nothing is gained by blaming yourself. All you'll do is make your recovery more difficult. Everyone makes mistakes. You did nothing on purpose. Remember that.

      Now, it's time to start healing and taking care of your tinnitus.:)
       
    16. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      Hereby the (wise) words of the somewhat pessimistic Danish philosopher, Søren Kierkegaard:

      "
      Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
      --Søren Kierkegaard, Danish Philosopher (1813-1855)

      Most people come to realise the implication of the above statement at some point in their lives. Tinnitus or not.


      Original quote:

      "Livet forstås baglæns, men må leves forlæns"
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    17. Philip83
      Jaded

      Philip83 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Swede living in Austria
      Tinnitus Since:
      2001
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise trauma from loud moped (2001) Noise blast (2014)
      I caused mine myself as well, 13 years ago driving my moped for too long with a broken tail pipe. It was super loud but I was to lazy to fix it!

      Sometimes I feel that it was a good thing that I did it to myself. I'm thinking if someone else caused it or just bad luck or whatever, I would have been more pissed because i WEREN'T to blame. Don't know if it makes sense.. :p Anyways, hang in there, you have only had it for a few weeks, it can still go away!
       
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    18. mick1987
      No Mood

      mick1987 Member

      Location:
      UK (England)
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I feel the same way, better to have caused T yourself than because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

      My brother woke me early hours of the morning to switch off a smoke detector/alarm in our garden shed that went off because he was routing around there only hours before.

      Now every morning I see him getting up and going to work in my old workplace I can no longer work at because its too loud. :(

      Every time I have my down days I have a lot of anger/resentment towards him! If he had never set the alarm off, if he had never woken me up.....I wouldn't be so pissed off if I'd constantly played loud music, gone to a concert etc, because it would have been my own doing.

      Though I'm somewhat habituated to my tinnitus, its still frustrating knowing you can't work a certain place, be cautious around loud noise, worrying about the future etc.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    19. pef

      pef Member

      Location:
      Georgia, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      3/16/2013
      Mistakes happen. Accept it and move on. I see from your "Tinnitus since" date your T is recent. You'll accept it in time.

      Hey, I shot a .357 magnum without hearing protection. One shot. My ears will ring the rest of my life. And I had near perfect hearing and no T before then. Stupid mistake. I was angry with myself for a while, but then I moved on.

      You will too. We all make mistakes, and there's nothing that can be done now.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    20. inadmin

      inadmin Member

      I don't think so.... Most people are getting T from noise exposure.... So it was in their control.
       

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