Feeling Suicidal... I Still Have Chances of Recovery? Please Help

Discussion in 'Support' started by The Jordan, Oct 25, 2018.

    1. The Jordan
      Sad

      The Jordan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      23/06/18
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma (Cinema)
      Please, I need your help. I can't live with my current tinnitus, hyperacusis and pain sensations. I used to have mild tinnitus and hyperacusis a month ago, I was getting better and I knew I was gonna fully recover. But after going to the ENT and do the acoustic reflex test, its seems all gone.

      A day after it, I started to have electric pain around my whole head, a horrible and painful sensation that I didn't have before, and noted that my tinnitus moved to the head. Since that day, I started to have a lot of trouble sleeping, because of the electrical feeling moving and vibrating inside my head.

      This sensations started to improve the next 2 weeks, with the electrical feeling now only like a buzzing in my temple/jaw. But then a new tone appears.

      Despite this, I was feeling better, but last week, after being exposed to a ambulance siren near my street inside my room while sleeping for about 2 minutes, I started to feel worse.

      Now my new tinnitus tone started to spike and my buzzing vibration as well, and yesterday it moved to inside my ears, while I was not only hearing it but also feeling it like hitting my inner ear. (And causing ear pain and fullness, and like a metallic sound at times.) Plus I have been feeling pressure nerve pain in my temples, jaw, check, head, teeth or ear, alongside this annoying buzzing.

      Also, my hyperacusis is way worse now. Can't tolerate even water at shower.

      I don't know if any of you have been experience any of those painful feelings, or if they are normal, my tinnitus before was only a minor sound. Now is a buzzing that apart of hearing it, you can also physically feel its annoying vibration.

      I can't stand this. I don't sure if this is a regular tinnitus spike, because my tinnitus didn't just increase, it seems to have transformed into a way worse type with new painful sensations and also a new tone. I think is maybe a second acoustic trauma...

      Seriously, I don't know if at this point I will get better. I don't want to kill myself, I'm only 23. Yesterday it was so invasive and annoying that I couldn't even sit and watch tv without sound like I have been doing fine this whole month. Now I can only cry all day and I can't take more benzos because I fear addiction.

      Please, tell me that if, objectively, you think I will get better at this point seeing of how serious my current situation seems. I'm so mad that maybe this damn test have been killed my chances of full recovery. I want to think this is all temporary, like a huge spike and that this only has delayed my recovery a lot but not killed it, but I sadly doubt that since a month has passed and despite little improvement in 2 weeks, since last week I'm worse than ever. I want to, at least, return to my previous baseline before the test where it was just a very minor annoyance and I could live well...

      What do you think? I still have chances of full recovery at this point? :(
       
      • Hug Hug x 6
    2. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      syringing and now somatic T dental work
      @The Jordan You have made mentioned that you are unsure about prednisone in another post. It may not help anyways. I would get some magnesium chelate and take according to label. This would be for your ears and the following.

      It does seen that you are placing pressure to your jaw at night. I would go to a dentist to see it he would recommend a mouth guard. I would discuss with him about making a flexible thin semi-soft guard, probably for upper teeth. In just a few minutes after placing in mouth, it will not be felt.

      Does your neck bother you at all?
       
    3. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      The Jordan
      Sad

      The Jordan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      23/06/18
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma (Cinema)
      Im taking prednisone and magnesium but it seems to do nothing good or bad.

      About the jaw pain, I will go to a neurologist since its seems similar to trigeminal neuralgia, that maybe its hyperacusis related since my main problem is the painfull electrical buzzings in my ears and around the face, its not just typical tinnitus sound that you dont physically feel.

      I think is maybe nerve related, that my nerves are hyperactive or something but I dont know... but its way more annoying than regular tinnitus sound because of the feeling rather than the sound...
       
    4. GregCA
      Jaded

      GregCA Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Otosclerosis
      Everyone has chances at a full recovery of course, by definition, but some chances are pretty slim depending on what's damaged in your auditory system.

      The good news is that your trending seems to be going in the right direction: you get better, then an incident goes and throws a wrench into your progress, then you get better again, etc... In many cases, the hyperacusis part at least gets better, often on its own. That does require patience unfortunately as it's a fairly slow process.

      I have no idea if you will fully recover, but the odds are in your favor for a betterment.

      Good luck!
       
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    5. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Reach out to a counselor or talk to a loved one. Life can be pretty harsh and we cannot always fight our demons on our own. I don't know if you are on meds or not, but I have never felt electric sensations just from the tinnitus alone. I have been on benzos and other pills and have had those sensations, only when I was taking something.

      At this stage of your tinnitus journey, you need lots of support. Making use of sound enrichment can be helpful as well. Just know that all of us have been in your shoes and we know just how horrible and intense it can be. Keep protecting your ears and try to to keep your stress down as much as possible.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    6. JohnAdams
      Starving

      JohnAdams Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      here
      Tinnitus Since:
      it started.
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      hearing loss
      Here is hope for you. Watch this whole video.
      Lecture: Toward a True Cure for Hearing...


      In the meantime try and take care of yourself. Be strong.
       
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    7. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      The Jordan
      Sad

      The Jordan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      23/06/18
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma (Cinema)
      I cant use sound enrichment because of my severe hyperacusis... in fact my tinnitus from ear is very low but I have this continue electrical buzz feelings inside my head that hurts, and I dont know if they are a worse type of tinnitus or what... that is what killing me because is not just sound to ignore but rather a feeling that hurts...
       
    8. Greg Clarke

      Greg Clarke Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Wicklow, Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2006
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, Live Music
      When did you first get Tinnitus/Hyper? You’ve got to be patient, I know it’s hard. We’ve all been at that point of desperation, give it time, you’ll adapt, things will improve.
       
    9. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      The Jordan
      Sad

      The Jordan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      23/06/18
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma (Cinema)
      On late june. I was almost cured but decided to go did that Acoustic Reflex test thinking it was safe... then the next day I didnt get a normal spike but this electrical feeling around my head plus pain that drives me mad. I dont sure if thia is even T at this point... (maybe I should do another post asking)
       
    10. juliob
      Confused

      juliob Member

      Location:
      Brazil
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Antidepressants / Loud Sound Exposure
      This little improvement you mentioned might be a very good sign. As others said, give it time, try to enjoy things without obsessing (easier said than done), there are good odds that things will improve.

      Are you taking any medication besides the benzos or are you in a withdrawal? Consider if other things besides the test might be influencing.
       
    11. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You need to wait (1-3 months) before you will be able to get a better idea about it. Until that time, please try to ride it out...
       
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    12. Red
      Crappy

      Red Member

      Location:
      Northeast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure (Headphones)
      I recommend getting on an anticonvulsant such as gabapentin, carbamazepine, or lamictal.
       
    13. Jack Straw
      Balanced

      Jack Straw Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Location:
      US
      Tinnitus Since:
      1990s
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Infection, Acoustic Trauma
      I don't understand why acoustic reflex tests are done to people with NIHL and tinnitus. :mad:

      @dpdx has some experience here. He might be able to help.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    14. Greg Clarke

      Greg Clarke Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Wicklow, Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2006
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, Live Music
      Not often I’d agree with you Bill but you’re absolutely 100% correct here.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    15. Egg

      Egg Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2/6/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma (Concert)
      Maybe try not to worry about minor incidents with high volumes that you couldn't have controlled in the first place. Like the ambulance. It happens and it happens to everyone. The way that you just can't get it out of your head really feeds the tinnitus. And I know I do this too so I know it's hard to do. But those types of incidents do much less physical damage than your anxiety regarding them is doing.
       
    16. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      TESTS TO AVOID

      1. CVEMP/OVEMP - hearing damage most likely, 90db-110db, worsen tinnitus
      2. ECOG - hearing damage most likely, 90d-110db, worsen tinntius
      3. ACOUSTIC REFLEX -hearing damage most likely, 100db

      4. MICROSUCTION - hearing damage likely, causes tinnitus, or worsens it
      5. EAR IRRIGATION - can cause or worsen tinnitus.
      6. CALORIC TEST with AIR/WATER hearing damage likely.

      They are done for commercial purposes. ENT thought I had blood cancer and thyroid cancer which was causing T and H.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    17. Linda_na

      Linda_na Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      One time noise exposure
      @dpdx actually I have done the acoustic reflex thing before. It gave me a flare up that lasted a few days and went away and I actually got better after that to the point were I could barely hear my T (I went out once and it got worse again). But my point is it didn’t actually make my T worse. At least not permanently.

      @The Jordan are you feeling better now?
       
    18. Morg

      Morg Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Previous exposure to loud music, then caught a cold.
      Patience. And try to do things that move your focus off of it and onto something better. Engage in stuff like sports, card games, ping pong, darts, socializing, engaging discussions, friends/family, playing an instrument (softly). Stuff that is engaging but not too stressful. Keep background masking sounds on if it helps. www.mynoise.net is a good place to start.

      In early tinnitus, I really think the brain is just by default on "high alert mode", telling itself something is wrong internally. You really have no choice but to just be totally emotional and panicked. Over time it should start to figure out that it doesn't need to be on high alert and things will improve. I was in your situation too--in tears, hopeless, suicidal at times, leave of absence at work, the works. Time and staying engaged helped a lot.

      Please go see a doctor/therapist to help with the mental aspects of this. For the very worst emotional times I would take a Valium which helped immensely.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1

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