Getting Ridiculous Now

just over 4 months in from noise induced tinnitus, hearing loss, vestibular damage, hyperacusis etc caused by 10 min exposure to 120db burglar alarm.

Month on month it has been getting worst and as I sit here right now the T is screaming in my left ear and getting louder in my right ear, My balance is off, I don't feel like myself, I cant think properly, cant plan, struggling to function, cant relax, cant sleep, the future I cant even begin to think about, I am 36, how can I deal with this until I'm 50, 60,70???

My wife was talking about going to see a show a Christmas and her sister wants to go to cinema next week for her sons birthday, I have tried to explain but they just don't understand, "why cant you go to the cinema, you have been 100s of times"


Absolutely ridiculous, this is like I have had a stroke ffs

 

4 months is a long time when you're suffering, but on the T scale, it's just the beginning of a long journey. This journey will take you to better days, that's for sure. Hang in there.

 

No chance!

 

See Jason ,
I totally understand what you are going through .
Ask your doctor for sleeping pills to help you get some mutch needed sleep to keep your mood and energy up.
For the sound itself ,keep sound on around you to help you relax and helps a little to distract the brain.
Put some nice smelly stuff on as the sence of small is a nice distraction and mood lifter.
Invest in some noise reduction plugs and maybe in the future you can go the cinema and pubs and shows again but for now avoid them till your emotional reaction to your sound picks up.

I should be going see Queen gig the end of the month with hubby and family but I'm going let someone go in my place and treat myself to a CD of Queen and a glass of something nice.
Shame the family won't be wearing plugs and risking their ears to Tinnitus.
Chin up
.....lots of love glynis x

 

You know, Glynis.. You are perhaps one of the strongest people I have never known. You are still out there lending your heart to people and sending positivity. I look up to you in this battle we all share.
Lots of love for you, Glynis.

Ricardo

 

Glynis, Thankyou for the kind words, I have read some of your struggles on here and I totally understand you are going threw a terrible time. Sometimes I feel guilty when I read a story like yours or another story where a little girl has brain cancer and would prefer the ringing in her ears.
Trying to adjust from having a normal life a little over 4 months ago is so hard, I would go to shows, cinema, holidays, loved my music and now all that is gone, its like I died on the 29th May. I cant listen to music as the T just rides on top of the music and it all sounds distorted, Even peoples voices are a higher pitch and send my T ringing like mad, apart from that the balance and vertigo, mood change and just plain not feeling like myself at all pure kill me, silly thing like going shopping seem impossible. Christmas is on the way and explaining to people why I cant go to their noisy Christmas party just seems like madness.
I have never taken drugs for anything and just cant now, I cant mask the T as the T just rides on top unless I used head phones and then I just worry I am doing more damage as it needs to be loud!

For a healthy pair of ears shows and cinema are not a problem, Obviously it can cause damage but I think the damage caused by the alarm I was exposed too is a lot worse than just simple noise induced trauma like the dullness from a concert etc.

I am constantly stuck back in the 29th May telling myself not to climb that ladder towards the alarm that went off in my face and I tried to shut the sounder off... Its like ground hog day, I will never be the same again.

 

Hi Jason,
Ask your doctor to put you on Proclorperazine or Betahistine to help with the vertigo and totally recommend talking therapy and maybe medication for low mood .
I take venlafaxine for low mood and had talking therapy and soon gets you back on track.
Tinnitus can be mental torture and the future seem so bleak but life will fall into place again for you I promise.
Things we enjoy are still their to be loved but we have to push harder to do them and make all good things count and get one up on our naughty ears...lots of love glynis xxx

 

Thanks Glynis.

 

Sleep, man, you gotta get sleep! Your first priority needs to be how you can get a full night's and maintain it before you can figure all this shit out. I wish I could give you some suggestions on that, but I honestly can't unless you want to give benedryl a shot to knock you out. Lack of sleep makes everybody's T more crazy, regardless of severity. Good luck!

 

Sleep is next too impossible, I sleep 1 out of 3 nights as 2 nights of no sleep has me wrecked. How do the rest of us sleep with this mad ringing going on?? Even getting up to go to the bathroom with vertigo is hard work.
I can't take drugs, it's hard enough concentrating at work with the constant screeming and ringing in the ears along with vertigo and everything sounding fucked up without having drugs in my system too.

This life is unreal!

 

I fall asleep fine these days with my head ringing away. How? I accept it. It's there, there's nothing I can do about it and I refuse to beat myself up about it again. I understand the drug thing, too, I won't take meds. I've read all these horror stories on this board about benzos and addiction and tinnitus increasing, or people getting severe tinnitus from benzo withdrawl... and nope. Not going to do it. But you're in a dark place, and I feel for you, and with that little sleep you're destroying yourself. You need a sleep aide. Some melatonin or chamomile tea at least.

Wishing you the best

 

I know, I am literally laying here now listening to the ringing. No sleep tonight again.

How did you get your t??

I think the damage from the alarm is more like blast damage for me, my left ear literally feels like it's been kicked in. I think that where my balance issues come from and the t is mega loud in my
Left ear.

 

@Jason C , I read your story, it's really sad that an alarm did that much damage. I've read so many tinnitus stories this past month on this board and other boards and you're not alone. Smoke detectors, faulty car alarms, and getting stuck by ambulances have done a lot of people in. Hopefully you get this vertigo crap figured out and then it'll get easier.

I got tinnitus from growing up glued to my head phones. Obessed with music. It was my all, particuarily punk and metal (probably the two worst to love) and when I was about 17 I got a new CD I was in love with and my ears started ringing after listening to it the 15th time in a day. I woke up the next day and they were still ringing. That's when I knew I was in trouble. It took a while, but I habituated and never fretted about it. Fast forward to a month ago I'm 33, under the worst stress of my life, going crazy, getting mad, and my left ear just goes EEEEEEEEP like fleeting tinnitus, but it didn't back down after a few hours and its been weird since.

 

Yea the alarm was crazy loud, they should be banned, even just standing in a street under one of these you can feel your ears throbbing.

I am amazed I can hear at all, my hearing is still surprisingly pretty good but it's all messed up, music sounds all distorted and wrong so I can't listen to it anymore. I loved rock and metal too, especially guns n roses, I was going too go see them next year on their European tour but that like many other things can't happen now.
The ringing I can understand, it's the vertigo and the fact that things sound so messed up that gets me. Along with not being able to concentrate and even my memory is crap now.

Just thinking today, I havnt cried about it, I feel really sad and depressed but I havnt cried. I also seem emotionless about other things too. Weird!

Really is true if you damage your ears you damage your brain.

 

Tinnitus is very depressing. It takes away so much from everyone it touches. I know you're going to hear this often, but HANG IN THERE!

I am just over 50 now. I had mild tinnitus since 2005 but nothing serious until 2011 when I had renal failure on my left kidney (only one I have). Went in for emergency surgery and 2 days recovering I wake up almost completely deaf and tinnitus ringing in both ears so loud I swear it should wake up the neighbors. So basically I was mid 40's and enjoying a decent and normal life until then. Talk about a turn of events. My family STILL bothers me to attend many events etc even tho I am now completely deaf. They think I am just weak and letting this get to me. So if I go to a get together, I must bring a pad and paper if anyone wishes to say anything. Typically I am avoided now. They all tried at first to do the writing bit, but soon just moved on to hanging out with others who can talk and hear!! I mean, I tried to attend but what's the use now if they treat me like I have the plague! Yet, they still ask me to go to everything and when I say "i'd rather not and hope you understand"........ they shrug their shoulders and walk away. This will never change. It's a tough go all around. Lost my regular job in 2011, spent my savings, can't find work, on a small disability that wont cover rent so I gotta share a place, I mean this is just nasty! Effects everything I do.

That all being said, there are still things I much enjoy. As long as the rest of my body stays in tact, I will fight on and continue with my new and unexpected life. For sleep now I simply use a Melatonin supplement 3mg in the evening . Took me a hell of a long time to adjust to sleeping 5 hours at night and a couple here n there. I went 5 days straight without sleep once and nearly had a break down. Even hallucinating from lack of sleep. It's no easy road as you are finding out.

Try not to fault your family and friends for not "getting it". This business with tinnitus is hard to grasp if you never suffer it. Be very careful now with your hearing.

 

Thanks Mike, I have read your story too.
Do you know what caused your original T in 2005?

 

Oh yes. I used to be a drummer in a few local bands. Played in many pubs and venues over the years. Also worked in loud environments.

 

Have you seen an ENT yet?

 

I didn't do any of that, apart from cinema, some shows and music on speakers at home I was always good to my ears. I never used headphones etc and only went to one live concert in 2010.

Damn alarm. Has ruined my life.

 

Nope, still awaiting appointment, I seen a hearing specialist and had a hearing test, his opinion was the usual "live with it" my hearing is pretty good as in a can hear everything but everything sounds different. Probably because my inner ears have been tenderised by the fucking alarm.

 

I don't know Jason. You may have to put up with some tinnitus now but you can find ways to deal with it and help it get lower in time. I knew I was playing with fire on my hearing but never imagined tinnitus and deafness at my age. Make sure you see your doctor and get a referral to an ENT (ear nose throat) specialist. Won't hurt to have an MRI if they suggest it. Your going to hear a lot of live with it crap from the medical community but the more you learn about this condition, the more you can explain what you may need for help to your doctors.

 

I keep trying new things all the time. I will continue to try until I fall off the face of the planet!! I used to close down every event and party, help clean up, make sure everyone got home safe etc. Now I can't stand attending anything.

Went to my nephews wedding last month. I stayed long enough to watch them exchange rings, gave them both a hug and off I went, back to seclusion. I am exactly opposite of who I once was. I am adjusting to a new life. A different life. You would think being deaf I would have peace and quiet! Heh! Damn tinnitus!!

 

I would say at this point I know more on the subject than most doctors, if I knew this much about how the ear works 5 months ago I wouldn't be in this mess. I am sure the ent doctors will be just as helpful as my own doctor. It's fairly obvious the damage is cochlear and vestibular hence the vertigo, both of which are unable to be repaired or treated. I won't use their drugs, the ear really is an amazing thing. I just wish I had more time to enjoy them now that I fully understand how they work and I am sure you feel the same.

It's not easy as we all know. I just don't know if I can be as strong as some of you on here.

 

Yea I used to think tinnitus was an annoying ringing and people who have it would just turn the music up louder lol I never expected people who have hearing loss to be afraid of loud noises but here we are.

 

Indeed, HEAR we are lol. Seriously, what alternative is there today? You might have to use some drugs now and then. I still get a 5mg Diazepam prescribed monthly. I get 30 per month but only use 6 to 8. The rest I store as they may stop prescribing them one day. One of those on a real bad evening can really help. Your sleep now is most important. Stress levels are worse too and we gotta keep that in check. If I took every med prescribed, I would be a junkie!! I was dumb about my hearing early on and sure won't be dumb about medications.

The only thing I take daily is a probiotic supplement. Keeps the digestive system working top form and helps your body get the nutrients it needs from the crap we eat these days. Everything is processed to death. Loaf of bread that use to last a week on the counter now lasts a month? It still wont go moldy!! It will taste like mold but........

What else can we do? Look after ourselves as best we can, hope for a cure or "check out"?

 

Well that's the thing, I am struggling to see the point of carrying on with life.
It's not fun anymore, everyday is a nightmare and I can't sleep at night.
My motivation to keep going was to earn money to have nice things and a nice life for myself and my family. Now I am miserable and making my family miserable as I am a different person now.
I was doing so well, I have money but it no longer makes me happy but at least my family will be ok financially.

Knowing I can "check out" actually makes me feel better.

 

Anyone can check out. The strong will survive! Keep strong for us all Jason. You really need to get something for sleep. This is most important. Seriously!!

 

I really find Melatonin very helpful, and it is not addicting. May not work for you or it may be your best friend. One 3mg tablet 1/2 hour before bedtime and a book or magazine to focus on til you crash.

 

I know man but I really am struggling to see the point.
If I get drugs to help with sleep then I can sleep, but what about getting threw the day?? Laying here at night not sleeping and listening to the ringing is probably the easy bit, getting threw my day in a technical position as a company director with a million things to do and nothing getting done is the hard part!

 

If that doesn't work, get a prescription sleeping medication and USE it when needed. Your body will really get messed up if your sleep patterns are so poor!