Greetings, Also, I Want to Die

Discussion in 'Support' started by Maggie-Mae, Jun 3, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Maggie-Mae
      Alienated

      Maggie-Mae Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Anti-depressants, loud music, ???
      To preface, I have had tinnitus for as long as I can remember, I thought it was the sound of silence as a young teen. But the past month it's gotten worse...

      As I'm writing this I am sitting at a table near a busy walk-way at a shopping mall with tears streaming down my face (very embarrassing, but I'm at my wits end)

      It feels like this noise is consuming one whole half of my head, its making my right eye burn and water, but most of all it makes me want to die.

      I'm only '20' years young and my hearing is atrocious, how will it be when I'm 40? There is no hope for the future. This is my last resort. I don't feel like I can live to make it to my hearing test on Monday...

      Does it get better? Like, at all?
       
      • Hug Hug x 6
    2. Hopeful1
      Depressed

      Hopeful1 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music
      Hang on there , it does get better. check if you can get Tinnitus Retraining Therapy from your GP/ Doctor.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    3. Zora
      Kick ass

      Zora Member

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      1st time: Megaphone ;2nd time: headphones too loud
      Hey maggie,

      Sorry to hear that it is so tough for you atm. It does get better like everyone says. Do you know a possible reason why it could have increased? Also do you take ads? Because you wrote that you got T in 2008, but I doubt that you took ads whn you were 12?

      I am also only 20 years old.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    4. Maggie-Mae
      Alienated

      Maggie-Mae Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Anti-depressants, loud music, ???
      Thankyou for replying Zora. I started taking 'Lovan' for depression and anxiety when I was just 9 years old, albeit a relativy low dose. I have been taking similar SSRIS ever since, (with maybe a year's hiatus in highschool)

      I stopped taking them all
      together about 4 months ago because I didnt want to be on them for the rest of my life! I got terrified finding out that long term usage could cause tinnitus, so I also stopped taking them thinking that the noise wouldnt get any worse. But it has... :(

      Edit: It also makes me feel a little less lonely knowing someone else my age has T.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    5. fishbone
      Happy

      fishbone Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness

      I got my tinnitus as a teen and at first it was pretty bad and very scary, but as i got older it did get much louder but I was able to handle it. I suggest that you talk with a counselor or do some type of sound therapy. You are 20 years young and life is just beginning for you. If the noise bothers you why not get a hearing aid that can mask the noise. Ending your life is not an option, you can do so much to help your self. Some will tell you to possibly take pills and meds to get away from the madness of tinnitus. I have been on those pills and the dependency and withdrawals and addiction is not worth it at all.


      I have had tinnitus for almost 30 years and T should not make your eye burn and water, it is most likely stress that is causing that. Please do take care of yourself and possibly go see an audiologist and try sound therapy :)
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    6. Maggie-Mae
      Alienated

      Maggie-Mae Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Anti-depressants, loud music, ???
      I am beginning counselling on Monday as well, so I will hold out until then. And I know what you mean about withdrawals and dependency! For starters I will try and avoid medicinal treatment and stick to therapy. Thankyou so much for your support, it's given me a little drive to try something else rather than sitting and wallowing in self-pity.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. fishbone
      Happy

      fishbone Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      You can try hypnosis as well..It might help you out. My ears ring like large power generators, I just got used to it and that's life. Some days I drink 1-2 glass of wine and just smile, you can do it as well..Trust me life is not over and no matter how loud or destructive your T is, life will still go on. My T is super loud that nothing masks it, and if a mack truck honks at me, my tinnitus is still louder :)

      Therapy is excellent and hypnosis might be very helpful. Don't give up :)
       
    8. Zora
      Kick ass

      Zora Member

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      1st time: Megaphone ;2nd time: headphones too loud
      maybe you dont want to answer the question, and I will understand that, but why did you have to take ADs when you were 9 years old? thats too young.
      its hard having T. and having T in ur 20, when life is just about to start (I will start uni in october) T sucks even more. My T is not too loud, bit still it makes me very sad. also because I kind of caused it myself by listening music via headphones to loud.
      its a very good idea IMO that you want to end the meds and start therapy, Im sure it will help you mor! I am doing therapy too.
      I wish you all the best
       
    9. Song interpreter
      Creative

      Song interpreter Member

      Location:
      Southern California
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Too much noise
      Your life is just beginning! And life will never be perfect. Everyone has at least one thing they have to live with that makes life difficult. Some are in wheelchairs, some live with horrible pain, some live with prejudice, some have a horrible family life. As you over come and accept your things, you become stronger! You become better! You are able to help others. You become happier.

      Twenty can be a scary time as you are trying to figure out what your life should be like, but we were all there once. You go through it and come out the other side. Acceptance is where you start and then make a plan. It seems you have people in place now who will help you down this path.

      I wish I could give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder. We care! That's why we are here!

      Keep us updated! We want to see your progress!
       

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