Hermittitus?

All...

I'm truly grateful I found this forum because I feel like I've lost my mind over the last 2-3 years. I guess I'm officially a hermit. I live in my daughter's basement and haven't been able to work consistently over the last year and minimize my personal interactions. I've had monotone (sometimes there are secondary and tertiary tones too) tinnitus in both ears for long time however it started getting louder every year since 2011 and now I'm not able to be the outgoing person I used to be or even work in my profession for the last year or so because I cannot concentrate long enough or even remember the right words to use to speak a coherent sentence. See profile for more information.

I've had anxiety attacks every morning while I was working going back to 2007 and now I understand it was related to my tinnitus. I guess the thought of going work with other professionals; having to communicate in proper sentences and the inability to concentrate for more than a few minutes at time was affecting my body. My doctors put me on every kind of long-term anti-anxiety meds over a four year period which only made my anxiety worse. We finally settled on a benzodiazepine which helped dramatically. Only over the last six months have I been able see that that was the cause of my anxiety. I still have anxiety problems when dealing with other humans doing things like going to the grocery store or having someone ask me a question however; I'm not on any meds for that anymore.

Is there anybody out there that is/has experienced this withdrawal from human contact?

 

What you are experiencing is normal.
Your tinnitus has taken away your confidence,self worth and social skills getting out and about and interacting with people and social phobia .

We are not born with these skills and we learn them as we grow and can easily be learnt again as your confidence grows.
Set your self a goal each week to move one step forward.

Going for a coffee in a caffee and talking to someone.
Go shopping and get a couple of items and chat to one or two people.
Get on a bus and chat to someone
Get on a train and talk to some one
Call in a pub for a pint and talk to some one.
Phone up friends and arange a meet up.

Go at your own pace putting no pressure on yourself and reward yourself with each positive move ..

Start it tomorrow and think what a nice summer you will have gaining these strengths again building up confidence and self worth and social skills.
I had to do it when depression hit hard but you come through it stronger and more independant...You will get through it I promise....lots of love glynis

 

Thank you so very much, Glynis.

I feel better now that I've seen a plan to move forward although my first goal is to find a job that doesn't stress me out. Why don't doctors (M.D.; ENT; PSYCHE) provide this simple plan?

Love and BIG hugs to you too...

 

OP, perhaps most of us on some level have withdrawn initially because of contracting T. Your withdrawal may in fact have preceded T due to anxiety and/or depression which is identified as a causal factor to contracting T.

Somehow, you need to emerge. This should be your singular focus. I will give you an analogy. By your picture you look like a strong guy. You need to fight. Fight for yourself. T is your mountain. You need to get your ass up that mountain. Whatever it takes. T is your Everest and maybe not just your but Everest for many.
You don't do this in a minute or in a day. It may take months. As brilliant glynis said, you emerge incrementally. You don't fly up the mountain, you walk up a step at a time. Its a journey.
So you need to put together a game plan to make this happen. Maybe you can't figure out how to do this in spite of glynis' suggestions. Then call your doctor and explain what is going on. You need a therapist and/or medication to help change your perspective so you can start leading your life.

Biggest way to beat back T? Live your life. Hardest thing to do with T in the early days? Live your life. So, that is your challenge. Do you like to compete as most men do? Then compete for yourself out of love for self.

Life can be a blast. Figure out what you like to do and do it and your T will fade into the background where it belongs. It does not deserve center stage. You do.

Lastly, OP, I know a lot about anxiety attacks. Repeated anxiety attacks is mental illness. People can minimize it or window dress it but that is what is it. Anxiety runs in my family on my mother's side. I have had more anxiety attacks than I care to recall...starting in my 20's when my best friend died of a rare disease. I want to give you some insight. I have written here before that nobody can will good mental health...and that includes profound mental illness which can institutionalize people. Also it isn't related to capacity to reason which is IQ. I have a high IQ for example as does other family members with this disorder. You first may need drug therapy. Benzos are a blessing. Just don't abuse them. Find a therapist. Life is an experiment. Dosage and type of med to reduce your anxiety...what nature isn't providing you...may take some experimentation.

It goes like this:
1. anxiety takes over and strangles your life because life happens and life can either go to the positive or go to the negative. You start to become afraid of even being afraid.
2. Medicine intervention
3. Life style changes occur due to change in brain chemistry due to taking medication
4. new behavior patterns...happier and more positive patterns emerge.
5. Reduce/eliminate meds because of new behavioral patterns. Positive behavior reinforces healthier brain chemistry. There is strong synergy between behavior and brain chemistry.

Hope above makes sense. Get some help. I did many years ago when I was trying to make sense of why I was anxious. A first step to becoming healthier is to admit that each of us are not perfect. In spite of me trying to be perfect my whole life, my closest friends and family know of my personal battle with anxiety. You would never know it in a thousand years if you met me unless I told you and just did.

 

Great Advice @glynis and @stophiss .

Do you get full blown panic attacks ? They are easy to stop with the right technique.

 

RaZaH,
I am prone to panic attacks under great stress...like personal issues that crop up in anyone's life....a high pressure job has taken me over the edge etc. So I work at controlling my environment the best I can.
I haven't had one in quite a long time. Only real bad stuff puts me over the edge. Then I reach for the benzo bottle and doesn't take long to take the edge off. I virtually never take benzos two days in a row for example. I don't remember doing this ever in fact.
I have never read any technique that makes it easy to stop a panic attack. In fact panic attacks by their nature are very difficult to stop because they emerge from the sub conscious mind which cannot be controlled by conscious thought.
If you have a technique you believe effective, please share and also where you learned it.
Thanks

 

Ok, this has to do with the amygdala and prolonged high stress levels.
A miscalibration of the body/mind's equilibrium point if you will.

That is , after prolonged stress , the body has "forgotten" where the normal/chillout/relaxed point is .
After such prolonged stress , even when relaxing you are not truly relaxing , you just think you are but your mind is resting at a high stress point ,so your body/mind is at high alert most of the time , if not all the time.
At some point , this heigthened state will evolve into panic attacks and anxiety.

This is why its important to do breathing exercises and relaxation, the body will learn what true relaxation is and start to notice when its not at that point .

Most people that have had panic attacks , fear the panic attack if only subconciously, therefore , when it starts or you feel like its starting the ball starts rolling and your anxiety cascades into a full blown panic attack. So there are two things going on here .

First , the anticipation of a panic attack will cause a panic attack.

Second , the mind/body "learns" that having a panic attack is the appropriate response to distress and "thinks" that because of this response , you survived your distressing moment (coming face to face with a lion) and therefore will try and respond the same the next time... a habit of the mind kind of. Like when you hurt yourself reaching into the sink while doing dishes and you cut yourself , your subconscious will remember that and you will be more careful.

Therefore , the correct response , seeing that a panic attack has never really hurt anyone....
Break the habit, reprogram your bodys response, the mind will learn that this new behaviour is the correct response...this new behaviour saved you from distress and is the new preferred response.

Its important for this to work that you understand/imagine whatever it takes that you are a primitive computer if that makes sense , a lot of your behavious is automatic , but programmed, by you and events.

The way to achieve this, and this is almost easier to do if the panic attacks are frequent.
Decide to enjoy it , look forward to your next panic attack so you can apply this technique.
Decide to explore it , ride the wave , look at it as an experience.
Even do your absolute best to induce a panic attack willingly, why not , it doesnt hurt you?

If you can manage to think " Yes ! , I am having a panic attack , I have been looking forward to that, lets explore!"
This simply breaks the spell, the mind gets confused , does not compute .

Even decide to stand up and dance when you have an attack ....

I was having severe panic attacks years ago ...I only needed to do this once.

Its incredibly simple and logical.
And works.

 

@stophiss - Thank you so much for taking the time to share all that out. I was very competitive person prior blowing one of my lumbar disks (see profile). I played golf 1-2 times a week up until then (my career at the time allowed to me play frequently during week). I also spent a lot of my weekends at my family's lake house riding wet bikes, tubing and just loving life. I was very competitive at work also because I had very quick mind plus many years of experience. This competitiveness took me to a senior management position - VP/CIO.

@RaZaH - Thank you for sharing the anxiety information. I've read a few posts on anxiety and they all help.

To both of you and @glynis: I certainly understand that it's going to take some time to recover from this situation I've got myself in. It took five years to arrive where I'm at but a "journey of a thousand miles starts with one step". Finding this wonderful community has been my first step and just communicating with others who live with this condition has already provided me with hope I didn't have a week ago. It's a struggle to compose these responses but I will never emerge unless I can overcome this.

Again, you all really don't know how appreciative I am for spending your time to help me.

 

We are here around the clock so your never alone.
Bit by bit you will start progressing and get back your smile and laughter as you grow emotionally stronger building up your skills again..,
Stay positive you will get their at your own pace....lots of love glynis

 

Thanks Rahaz,
Sounds easy. For many not so much but glad you could rationalize your anxiety attacks away.
Good luck to all with this insidious disorder.

 

I got the method from a long time sufferer, he has helped a lot of people.
Thought I would try it , worked for me