Hi, Had This For 5 Years, Any Advice?

Discussion in 'Support' started by aleks90, Oct 2, 2014.

    1. aleks90

      aleks90 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Hi there, have had this delightful sound for 5 years now. I don't remember specifically when it started or the real cause. I do think it could have been from some nights out, even though I rarely party too much. Just bad luck.

      But yea, at first it made me miserable. I lost my girlfriend, flunked math and got obsessed with sports to keep me distracted. This didn't work and after I got a shoulder injury I had to face the truth.

      I went to several ENT's and they all said the same "live with this". My sleep was destroyed along with my concentration. I got more moody and my personality started to change. I became cynical and easily annoyed. These treats I still have.

      I can have upbeat days, but they now come seldom. I moved out for a year with a "activity school" volleyball and etc. After that I came back to my parents home, and since then I've stayed home and almost given up.

      I'm 24 now and feel like these 4 years have been robbed from me. Some days I manage to sleep. But mostly I'm afraid of going to bed, because I know I will be there for hours trying to. I have a sleep machine with rain sounds, but if I use it to mask over my tinnitus it gets too annoying so it works so-so. The days I can't sleep my sleep pattern just flips over, and I sleep just because I'm too exhausted. Then I can wake up in the evening staying up all night vice versa.

      I try to do something productive when I'm awake, like trying to learn to program, playing some games or reading. But it gets annoying fast, and I lose my temper.

      So yea, I've started to lose a little hope and I don't see much of a future here. What is the point when I just don't enjoy being awake.

      I know this sounds very depressing, and actually I was a very upbeat guy and I hate telling people I struggle. But I would rather just tell the truth before I do anything stupid.

      I haven't read too much the last year on tinnitus and forums because I know it's not always a smart thing to do. But I'm getting tired being alone with this. So yea, I rather open my mind here. And crossing my fingers for a cure or a treatment in the next 5-10 years.

      Do any one have some advice or stories that helped them?
      • Hug Hug x 3
    2. nogood

      nogood Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I understand u, i too get easily get angery and irritated.
      I been through a lot..
      Sometimes just have to push through all of the stuggles.
      Get a job. Make friends. Keep busy. Try enjoy little things.
      Make a routine for urself, stick to it, make someone smile and try to smile a lot.
      Hopefully cure will come soon so try to live happy until then..
      All the best..keep ur head up and smile
    3. RicoS

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Have you tried other masking sounds. Because I know that for me some masking sounds become annoying and others I really like. I use birdsounds most of the time and they blend right in to all day sounds even in the office. White noice and rain annoys me after some time. When there is a sunny weather why would i put on rain sounds to mask it ;-) .... the birdsounds are my thing so perhaps you can try something else also. T is less bad if you know you have a place and moment where you can get a second of rest without thinking about it or get stressed about it.
    4. aleks90

      aleks90 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Hmm maybe I should really try to go through all kinds of sounds. It is what you said, I feel like I have no place to "relax" except the shower. If I had more hot water I would do my reading in there with a waterproof tablet hehe.

      I'll give bird sounds a shot, A little tired of it raining all day in my room yeah : )
      • Like Like x 1
    5. carol kane

      carol kane Member

      Lincolnshire united kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      After 6 years aleks90 just go with the flow, your brain has hardened to it by now, and it must seem normal to you, i say this because i'm nearly 1 year in and i'm starting to not care anymore, T hisses morning noon and night, and i'm just starting to tell myself WHATEVER!! it isn't going anywhere so i might aswell just live with it, i hate it and i resent it so much, but until i get the balls to end it all ... well it's here with me just like my arms and legs, they're part of me and so is T, it's hell but it's here to stay !!
    6. aleks90

      aleks90 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Yes I kinda know, I just had a bad period again. I tried to not care about it for a year, without talking about it and doing anything. Didn't really work, so I'm trying a different angle now. Well, I'll have to try to reset.
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. martin12

      martin12 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      @ Aleks did you ever find out the underlying cause of your T? Hearing test? Otacoustic Emissions?
    8. aleks90

      aleks90 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      No, but i believe it might be from noise from some concerts. But I don't remember it suddenly appearing. I just one day remember there was a small sound in my head in classroom. I started wondering what it was and asked a friend. He didn't hear it. After that it got louder to the volume it is today. I don't remember exactly how or when. My hearing is nearly perfect and been to 3 ENT's. They all say don't dwell and live with it.

      I had cancer and chemo as a kid, but I don't know if that should have anything to do with it so many years after.

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