Hope Helps Me Move On

Discussion in 'Support' started by Mentos, Sep 26, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Does anyone feel that hope for cure in the future helps to move on?

      Usually I manage to overcome my anxiety related to T, I mask 24/7 which helps to calm me down and move on with me life. But I cannot laugh and I almost always feel depressed that I will never hear silence again. So even if no anxious anymore I feel sad most of the time. And thinking I'm going to be sad till the end of my days makes me even more sad and depressed. Is life really worth living being constantly sad about your condition? In moment like this I feel that hope for a cure sometime in the future helps me to move on.

      But then I question myself am I not fooling myself, is there really a chance for a cure for us? Does it really make sense to live with false hope to help you cope? Maybe it's better to accept the shit I'm in and that it's never gonna be better?

      I used to have suicidal thoughts when constant anxiety was overwhelming me. Now even when my anxiety is under control I still feel suicidal at times because I feel hopeless. And these new suicidal thoughts scare me even more than the former ones since they are much more logical in their origin. Not emotion driven but they seem to be well thought through. Simply I can't see myself happy without silence. Masking helps to overcome anxiety, but does not address missing silence which is a huge burden to me.

      And if I cannot be happy does it really makes sense living? The thing is I don't live,I only exist. I'm emotionally burned out, I can't feel happy without silence, I just can't. I can sit in a room or at my desk at work listening to rain sounds all day long without anxiety, but deep inside I hate my condition and my life with it. And my T is mild, I can't even imagine what if things get worse in the future and the T increases.

      So basically I'm counting down hours from the morning till the day end, and I count down days till the end of month, and I count down months till the moment I die and finish this miserable life. And there are still around 40 miserable years ahead of me. And it's not that I only sit on my ass and do nothing.

      I know I should get distracted, and I do many things: I work, I read, ride a bike, motorcycle, swim, run make puzzles, I go out with my wife and friends. I do the things I used to do before T, still feel I'm never gonna be happy without silence in my head.

      Suicide seems a reasonable solution but what if indeed a solution is really around the corner? (for example cochlear synaptopathy treatment being worked out by Charles Liberman).

      I feel so trapped in my thoughts.

      Anyone else feel the same?
       
      • Like Like x 1
    2. stophiss

      stophiss Member

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      too full a life
      I think you are a serious candidate of cognitive behavioral therapy. You need to change your perception of tinnitus to allow you to live with it as a companion instead of a foe. If one day a cure is found to remove this companion you currently fight so hard emotionally to vanquish, then for the better.
      And/or...become involved with a group of humanity that is so much worse off than you and there are tens of thousands.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    3. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      I know man your're right. I don't hear my T for 80% of a time but it's on my mind 100% of a time. And I know there are people in much worse position than mine, even T wise. I'm on a rollercoster everyday, music & masking helps to some extent but still it's very difficult for me to concentrate on my life instead of my T.
       
    4. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      I share some of your feelings, still I have two kids to live for. T is still dominant, I too live in hope, there is always hope, we cannot predict tomorrow.
      As sufferers all we can do is keep on spreading the word and keeping awareness high.
      I also think I'm deluding myself sometimes, but nobody knows what's around the corner, weave to keep faith in science.
      I agree, CBT sounds good in your case if u only hear it 80/100, very much so...
       
    5. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      How
      Often are you hearing it @Candy
       
    6. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      Meant "if u cannot hear it 80/100 of the time" as stated. Hearing it 20/100 seems a good encouraging start.
       
    7. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Personally, I have lost hope for a cure any time soon.

      At least you can mask yours, maybe CBT or TRT would help you habituate. If you don't hear it 80% of the time I don't see any reason why you couldn't. This isn't true for a lot of T sufferers, but if it's always on your mind when you don't here it, seems like it is more of a cognitive/reaction issue.
       
    8. Fairy
      Cool

      Fairy Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      There is hope. Hope when you make it work. Hope knowing that you are alive tomorrow.
      Hope is everything. I hang in 7 months thru hell. Why not you, We love you and hug you.
      You are cool person, so remain cool. We all have moments of despair.

      Things to do list: Look at the laser machine success story, read the success story.
      Also type of TInnitus do you have? I am sure someone on here can help you.
      Remember 50 per cent is better than nothing.

      Do you know what type of tinnitus you got? so someone can help you.
      Be a cool person. Threw me a hug.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    9. Marie79

      Marie79 Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2/1/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      A friend of mine who has pretty bad T said it took her 2 full years to be her normal self again.
       
    10. Fairy
      Cool

      Fairy Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Look at Marie, she has a smile on her face. You got friends.
       
    11. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Fairy I do smile at times, but usually it's a grin even though I'm already 1.5 years in. I'm simply sad most of a time. I would say on a daily basis I'm 20% of time anxious, 75% sad and 5% normal. I feel relatively happy when having sex with my wife, riding a bike or motorbike and reading or making puzzles. If only I could get rid of anxiety to 0% and be 50/50 sad/normal I would consider it a success.
       
      • Winner Winner x 1
    12. Lorac

      Lorac Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden profound hearing loss in left ear.
      If you only hear T 80% of the time but you think about T 100% of the time, I agree that you should seek help from a therapist.
       
    13. LadyDi
      Busy

      LadyDi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barotrauma/airplane
      I don't believe there ever will be a cure, so this is not an issue for me. I think pinning all your hopes on one sets you up for depression.

      I DO believe there will be better ways to manage tinnitus coming very soon. That's what I hope for. In the meantime, I plan to enjoy the life I have. There remains much to live for. My tinnitus has taught me a lot over the past three years, made me a better person and taught me to be more grateful.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    14. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      @Mentos
      Tinnitus isn't an easy condition to cope with when it is severe. The condition comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. Most people do learn to live with it, however, there are some that have a particularly difficult time managing and may need medication to help. The post below may be of some comfort when times are stressful.

      Just one more thing. If you are masking your tinnitus 24/7 with another sound so that your tinnitus cannot be heard, this is not a good idea, as your brain will not learn to habituate to the tinnitus. I suggest that whatever sound enrichment you are using to mask your tinnitus, try to set the volume slightly lower than your tinnitus. In other words, make sure you can hear your tinnitus above it.

      Positivity And Tinnitus

      For some people prolonged intrusive tinnitus can be very stressful and at times debilitating. This can sometimes lead to depression and a person may need to go on a course of antidepressants. I have often been asked in tinnitus forums and via email “It is great if you’re able to be positive, but simply telling someone to be more positive about tinnitus isn’t going to change anything”. I want to clarify here and now, that isn’t what I mean.

      Thinking more positive about tinnitus and bringing positivity into your life takes time it isn’t achieved overnight or by simply thinking to yourself “I must be positive about my life”.

      If a person wants to improve the quality of their life they have to be prepared to try and help themselves, because there is no wonder drug or operation that can cure tinnitus at this time. Unless a person faces these facts they will forever be trawling the Internet going from forum to forum complaining why there is no treatment for tinnitus when actually many of these people want a complete cure.

      I once read a newspaper article that mentioned: nineteen out of twenty medical conditions cannot be cured. Someone once told me “I don’t want to be positive about tinnitus, I hate it. Being positive wont make it go away". This is true, however, thinking more positive and bringing positivity into your life will reduce the perception on how you relate to tinnitus. CBT and TRT are based on having a positive attitude, without that these treatments aren’t effective.

      Long before CBT, TRT and the Internet came on the scene Doctors have been telling tinnitus patients, there’s no cure you’ll have to learn to live with it. Most of us know this is easier said than done.

      So how does one start to think more positive about their tinnitus and to bring positivity into their life?

      The fact that someone with tinnitus is reading this page suggests to me their tinnitus for today at least isn’t so intrusive that they are unable to function, for that I’m pleased because this is something positive, instead of lying in bed on medication doing nothing. If you are able to work that’s even better as your tinnitus isn’t so severe you’re incapacitated. I see this as something positive in a person’s life. Being able to earn a living and support yourself. Therefore, you’re able to do all the daily tasks one needs to survive in this world. You may have some difficulty granted, but you’re still achieving and that's progress.

      It is still better than someone that is visually impaired or severely disabled and unable to earn a living. Or, people with severe tinnitus that are depressed and on medication and unable to work. So by looking at our own circumstances and seeing what we’re able to do and achieve we can think more positively about ourselves. There is nothing more satisfying than being independent and I suggest you hold onto those thoughts.

      If you live by yourself consider getting a cat or a dog so your home environment won’t feel so lonely. If you have a partner and family think about spending some quality time with them, as this can help reinforce your sense of belonging, and the love that binds you together, then your T won’t make you feel so isolated. Sometimes opening up sharing your thoughts and how you feel can help immensely and keep negativity at bay.

      I have just given a synopsis of what I believe can help a person’s quality of life improve with positive thinking. It doesn’t happen overnight but a lot can be achieved when one is prepared to try. By moving forwards and taking one day at a time you can occasionally look back and see how far you have come.

      Michael
       
      • Like Like x 1
    15. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      What exactly do you mean by saying no cure but better ways to manage? Another sound therapy or a pill you'll have to take regularly that will temporarily supress the T? I instead believe there will be a cure for some kinds of T one day (ie. resulting from cochlear synaptopathy), probably not for all kinds of T, I agree.
       
    16. LadyDi
      Busy

      LadyDi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barotrauma/airplane
      Not sure exactly will play out regarding management techniques. Could be electrical stimulation, drug injections like AM-101, who knows. And I would be happy to take a pill every day if it reduced my tinnitus and had limited side effects.

      Regarding your belief: I hope you are right. And sure, there might be some tinnitus that's fixable some day, depending on the cause, severity and time from onset to treatment. But I believe most tinnitus will remain incurable. The ear is too delicate, the neurological-brain mechanism is too complicated and all of the moving parts are really, really hard to get at without killing the patient. Just my opinion.
       
    17. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Depending on how I spent my day I hear my T between 20-50% of a time a day, but it's always on my mind, just can't forget that even if I don't hear it know I will hear it soon. I'll give CBT a try as you suggest to help to manage my thoughts
       
    18. Reinier
      Not amused

      Reinier Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Explosion starting engine
      Not the most pragmatic thing to do, but I do it anyway.
      Reading about another (of the many) breakthrough can make my day. A little bit less anxiety.
      Our tinnitus started roughly about the same time. Perhaps these thoughts are all just phases we need to get through.
      I can't wait for another year to have passed. For the simple reason that I am another year ahead in this excepting process.
       
    19. Lorac

      Lorac Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden profound hearing loss in left ear.
      @Mentos,
      I meant to say 20% instead of 80%...my bad.
      The thing is, habituation is the goal here since we don't have a cure. You seem to be doing the opposite of habituation. I'm glad that you plan to seek help from a therapist. I hope that will help you. Please keep us posted.
       

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