How Do You Handle the "Bad Days"?

I need your suggestions! My somatic tinnitus varies from day to day; some days it's not too bad, some days it's loud but bearable, and some days it's so screeching I want to bang my head on the wall. I've had T for a little over 4 months, and I'm having such a hard time dealing with the bad days. I've resisted taking any anti-depressants up til now, but I'm considering trying something. Is there anything you take just on the bad days to help you get thru them?
Thanks for your help!!

 

Hi Deb.

Sorry you are struggling! My T varies too, and I will admit that my T is low, but sometimes it feels like my whole head is buzzing. It feels like when you forget about it, it rears it's ugly head and reminds you it's here.

Perhaps anti-depressants are the way to go. I would advise speaking to your doctor or perhaps a psychiatrist and see what they think. In the meantime, do maskers help or music? If they can cover your T on the bad days I would try playing some - I know it's a simple solution, but unfortunately I am unsure what else to suggest. I would just try to focus on something else while it's bad.

Keep us posted.

 

Thanks Citigirl...
on the bad days I do resort to white noise while I'm at work and it helps for awhile but ultimately seems to make it worse.
I guess it's like a migraine; something to endure until it eases up which hopefully is the next day. The thing is, I thought I was beginning to habituate, but every time I have a bad day it's like panic time all over again.

 

I know exactly what you mean. Some days I say to myself "Hey, it's not so bad, I can handle this". Other days I cannot bear to last another second with it.

Can I ask, how did you get T?

 

That's exactly how I feel about it, Citigirl.
Today is a good day, thank God!

 

I agree with @citigirl13 Anti-depressants wont change your tinnitus but they will help you not to care Im on them myself right now and am feeling happy and content My sleeping problems caused by anxiety have also left.

 

city girl wrote..
It feels like when you forget about it, it rears it's ugly head and reminds you it's here.

exactly how i see it ..sort of punishes us..
CG .. I would not recommend you take anti depresants.. Ive been there and done that..ohh no. Micky

 

It's so frustrating, isn't it...altho I'm very grateful for the low T days. (I'm having one today and feel like a different person!)
Citigirl, I'm not sure but I associate the onset of my T with dental work. Had 2 crowns done in my left jaw at the end of October into November and the T got worse and worse after that. First started in my left ear, but has expanded; sometimes I get a teakettle sound in the left ear, a high-pitch in my right ear, and an electrical sound across the top of my head...all at the same time.

 

If the meds help, particularly AD which is not addictive like benzos, why not? I used AD for quite a long time during my struggling days. But eventually, it was about changing my thought process and changing the way I approach life's challenges which helped me to get off from meds dependency.

I basically reprogrammed my brain. For example I used to get very upset and filled myself with negative emotions when there were challenges. T was a huge challenge so my brain just had no chance but to react with fear & anxiety, anger & rant, depression and sleeplessness. Until I searched how others live with their acute chronic illnesses, then I realized I needed to learn their coping skills to live with my T.

For example, I found 'Finding Joy Amid the Pain', how a young Darlene Cohen overcame her acute chronic pain which made her bed ridden at the beginning. I learned that joy and pain can co-exist without all the negative emotions. I also found 'The Power of Now' by Eckart Tolle who taught me true acceptance and flowing with life's challenges. I also learned the importance of living for the moment, not the past which is history, nor the future which is not yet a reality, but just the very current moment, which I can control, can feel, and can choose to make it a good moment even when T is blasting away.

How I cope with a blasting T? Well, I just imagine that I have a very loud job for the day like those miners and drillers in the 3rd world, who have very little ear protection and have no choice for other jobs. They work merrily for wages for life to feed their family. I count my blessings I don't have to work like them, but I will accept my T noise for the day so I don't have to suffer emotionally and have my life back. Instead of working like them for life, I will settle with T ringing and I will take any quieter days like my off days. Not a perfect analogy and may sound silly. But I could ill afford a perfect analogy in my days of T horror. My brain would cave into relentless anxiety and panic attacks the minute it sensed that I was resisting T and the sound. So either acceptance, take the imperfect analogy and be happy that I don't really have to work 1000 ft underground for a living, or face relentless panic attacks and sure immense suffering & misery for life. I choose to accept T and the imperfect analogy and just try to enjoy the rest of my life besides T.

A big part of T suffering is mental. It is a mental game we have to play and win with T. If T is not going to change, we have to change, learn to flow, adapt, adjust and accommodate. When I was hurting badly, I posted for advice how to live with my T for long term. A war veteran member on a support forum replied, 'I am a soldier. I fight for a living. But when it comes to T, I have learn to accommodate it instead of fighting it.' So there lies the wisdom of a soldier fighter, you learn to fight the battle with T not by fighting it, banging it, resisting it with your dear life, but with the willingness to accommodate, to compromise, to flow, to adapt.

This kind of approach will prepare us for the bad days, so that we won't go into more negative emotions again and again. Because doing so will reinforce again & again to the brain that T is a threat, and then the brain will zoom in and monitor T nonstop, thereby prolonging your path to habituation. If you learn to minimize & neutralize T by a good mental process, than it is only a matter of time that even a loud T day will be ignored and faded out by the brain. How is that possible? Because the brain will fade out even loud sounds it considers not threatening. How so? Well remember those flights you were on, did you pay attention or hear the loud jet engine while you were watching a movie, reading a book or enjoying the meal? No. That is how it is possible when T is considered not a threat. It will get faded out of consciousness when you are distracted with life's activities. It will take time and a positive approach to get there, but you will get there. Time is on our side.

 

If you learn to minimize & neutralize T by a good mental process, than it is only a matter of time that even a loud T day will be ignored and faded out by the brain. How is that possible? Because the brain will fade out even loud sounds it considers not threatening. How so? Well remember those flights you were on, did you pay attention or hear the loud jet engine while you were watching a movie, reading a book or enjoying the meal? No. That is how it is possible when T is considered not a threat. It will get faded out of consciousness when you are distracted with life's activities. It will take time and a positive approach to get there, but you will get there. Time is on our side.[/QUOTE]

Billie, this helps me a lot and gives me hope. I know mental attitude is important, and next time the T hits hard, I will try your coping tips. Thanks so much. (But is it still ok to pray that it will go away??)

 

excellent post from Billie.. And worthy of another read .. However i really do think that some folk are stronger in character and are able to cope easier with what life throws at them.. Other folk have weaker personalitys and find it a lot harder to cope .. They get stressed easier and are chronic sufferers of anxiety.. We are all different for sure.. The latter may never properly habituate.. Some folk sadly are serial worriers..

 

I think in order to cope with T we need to change how we view it. Unfortunately it is easier said than done. Since I have fluid in my ears I am hoping it is just a temp thing. My T is also hard to ignore b/c of the popping/crackling in my ear as well as pressure. Right now I can feel it just above my nose.

I personally would try not to take anti-d, simply because I have had experiences/side effects with drugs. However, I think at the on-set of T people can need extra help. Anti-depressants aren't the solution, but they get you going and you are able to see the world without "a grey tint" and don't react in panic. From there people can sort themselves out. I think if you feel you need to take anti-d you should.

How are you feeling @DebS?

 

I think the effect/side-effect of ADs depends on the AD taken. There are different types of ADs. It is normal to have side-effects, but if they AD is right they should last for a couple of weeks only. Also the effect depends on the med taken. The important thing is to find a good and experienced psyhiciatrist For example my psychiatrist knows more about tinnitus than my audiologist

 

@Billie

How long does a person keep having "setbacks" before reaching the point you describes??

 

I agree that some will be able to cope and some not. I have only had this since about 4 month ago. In that short time I've seen people that are able to cope and then the others that have frankly not made it. When I first started researching what was going on with me I found a young mans video on you tube. He was crying about how he could not take the ringing anymore. I thought it was someone playing a joke. I have since discovered that this young man died in a car crash a month after the post. I keep wondering if the ringing was a factor. Anyway, I was very upset when I saw a young man and started researching more and was shocked to find a county sheriff in 2010 that left a note after he could not take the ringing anymore. Seems that the ringing started while he was weight lifting. You would think a guy like that would be better able to cope. Clearly I think it seems to depend how loud the ringing is, if your hearing it 24 hours a day and how it impacts your life.

 

It was 4 months since my onset when I was in my lowest point and my GP told me to start AD. I think it has helped me. If you go down that route, be warned the first 2-4 weeks with SSRI are even worse than your 'normal'. But it will pass. I think I would have been quite depressed this winter without artificial cheer up. Anxiety is another thing, you know the panic you get on those bad days. I've had benzos to overcome those times. They are not to be used regularly, and honestly I think, for me a couple of beers do the same.

As for a sight for the future, I think your anxiety will fade away and your tinnitus will become a non issue to you. So it goes.

 

Thanks for all the advice. It certainly helps! I had a fairly good day yesterday and went out with friends last night to a fish fry that was quite noisy, but I did ok and had fun. A few of us even went out for drinks afterwards, and I had a glass of wine which I was afraid would cause a spike, but today is starting out good. Yay! I'm still considering an AD. My niece is a psychiatric nurse and she's encouraged me to try Zoloft...she's been on it herself for 8 years. Several of my siblings are also on it, and one of them has had tinnitus for 20 years and he copes fine. Says he really doesn't notice it that much anymore. (But I'm more of a worrier than he is!) I also visited a chiropractor yesterday for a consultation about my neck problems. He said he's been able to help some tinnitus patients but not all. He definitely feels my neck is out of alignment but whether that has anything to do with the T, who knows? I'm thinking about having some treatments altho it's rather expensive.

 

My ear infection started after dental work. Hence, the buzzing head. I don't have it today or at least I can't hear it. I wish every day could be like this.

 

Wow very inspiring
llie48, post: 36212, member: 2670"]If the meds help, particularly AD which is not addictive like benzos, why not? I used AD for quite a long time during my struggling days. But eventually, it was about changing my thought process and changing the way I approach life's challenges which helped me to get off from meds dependency.

I basically reprogrammed my brain. For example I used to get very upset and filled myself with negative emotions when there were challenges. T was a huge challenge so my brain just had no chance but to react with fear & anxiety, anger & rant, depression and sleeplessness. Until I searched how others live with their acute chronic illnesses, then I realized I needed to learn their coping skills to live with my T.

For example, I found 'Finding Joy Amid the Pain', how a young Darlene Cohen overcame her acute chronic pain which made her bed ridden at the beginning. I learned that joy and pain can co-exist without all the negative emotions. I also found 'The Power of Now' by Eckart Tolle who taught me true acceptance and flowing with life's challenges. I also learned the importance of living for the moment, not the past which is history, nor the future which is not yet a reality, but just the very current moment, which I can control, can feel, and can choose to make it a good moment even when T is blasting away.

How I cope with a blasting T? Well, I just imagine that I have a very loud job for the day like those miners and drillers in the 3rd world, who have very little ear protection and have no choice for other jobs. They work merrily for wages for life to feed their family. I count my blessings I don't have to work like them, but I will accept my T noise for the day so I don't have to suffer emotionally and have my life back. Instead of working like them for life, I will settle with T ringing and I will take any quieter days like my off days. Not a perfect analogy and may sound silly. But I could ill afford a perfect analogy in my days of T horror. My brain would cave into relentless anxiety and panic attacks the minute it sensed that I was resisting T and the sound. So either acceptance, take the imperfect analogy and be happy that I don't really have to work 1000 ft underground for a living, or face relentless panic attacks and sure immense suffering & misery for life. I choose to accept T and the imperfect analogy and just try to enjoy the rest of my life besides T.

A big part of T suffering is mental. It is a mental game we have to play and win with T. If T is not going to change, we have to change, learn to flow, adapt, adjust and accommodate. When I was hurting badly, I posted for advice how to live with my T for long term. A war veteran member on a support forum replied, 'I am a soldier. I fight for a living. But when it comes to T, I have learn to accommodate it instead of fighting it.' So there lies the wisdom of a soldier fighter, you learn to fight the battle with T not by fighting it, banging it, resisting it with your dear life, but with the willingness to accommodate, to compromise, to flow, to adapt.

This kind of approach will prepare us for the bad days, so that we won't go into more negative emotions again and again. Because doing so will reinforce again & again to the brain that T is a threat, and then the brain will zoom in and monitor T nonstop, thereby prolonging your path to habituation. If you learn to minimize & neutralize T by a good mental process, than it is only a matter of time that even a loud T day will be ignored and faded out by the brain. How is that possible? Because the brain will fade out even loud sounds it considers not threatening. How so? Well remember those flights you were on, did you pay attention or hear the loud jet engine while you were watching a movie, reading a book or enjoying the meal? No. That is how it is possible when T is considered not a threat. It will get faded out of consciousness when you are distracted with life's activities. It will take time and a positive approach to get there, but you will get there. Time is on our side.[/QUOTE]
Wow very I

 

Hi beemovie.
I think most of us here had or still have some dark thoughts.
But let us all try to deal with it day by day, help each other and concentrate on the success stories.
When we have reached the point we no longer care about T, we have won and can be proud about ourselves.
I hear mine 24/7 and I don't know if it is loud or not. It impacts my life, but I want to reach a point it no longer does.
Best regards,
Martin

 

Denny, I am not an expert on tinnitus. Perhaps Dr. Nagler or others are. So they are more qualified to answer. I can only relate to what I read and my own experience. Generally, the time frame depends on people, their T and their background. In my case, my first 6 months were all hell. After one year, I went back to enjoy what I used to do to have some fun back but setbacks were still constant within 2 years. After 3rd year, I don't give a dime on T. I used meds heavily in the first 6 months. The meds slowly stopped when I started to use my reasoning of the imperfect analogy as mentioned in my post and learning to co-exist in peace with T when applying what I learned from Darlene Cohen, Tolle, as well as reading up on CBT cognitive distortions (bought a cheap paper-back book 'Feeling Good' by Dr. Burns and read it many times). I had to reprogram my thinking process because I had suffered for decades of on-and-off anxiety and panic disorders with many phobia. Since adopting this new mental approach, I had not had a single panic attack. It is night & day. So if T does not change, I need to change. That is the essence of my story. Thank you all for the kind words. I don't own any personal credit and I owe the learning process to all the kind veteran T members who had offered kind help to me along the way. I thank them for my recovery.