How Does One Stop Crying

Discussion in 'Support' started by Kazue, Nov 8, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      So I have been crying way too much for these past 3 months. Its annoying but I cant help it. I never used to cry when I was younger, never. Now I cry just watching a sad movie. I cry when someone is talking to me.

      Wth is going on? How do I stop crying.

      I just want to shut my tear ducts off because this is not like me at all. I cried in front of my mom. The last time I did that, I was a child. I cried in front of my dad. He has never seen me cry before and I was planning to keep it that way. My best friend has seen me cry, which is a first. My freaking principal, crush, therapist, everyone at my school all have seen me cry. I feel like a disgrace. I just want to end my existence. I cant even function in a society without being such a wimp.

      I tried deep breathing, clearing my mind, pinching my nose, EVERYTHING. I hate being an emotional piece of trash. Then when someone asks me what's wrong, my eyes starts pouring like rain. My voice shakes and cracks. My eyes turn red. My nose starts running.

      Its so embarrassing and I do everything in my ability to stop. Any suggestions?
       
    2. Jomo

      Jomo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      9/4/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      going for a rim shot on the snare drum.
      Im right here with ya man...have you tried the general fuzz website? It provides me some relief....trust me man i know having this sux but u can still live your life...dont let this get you down. It may never go away but it may get better in time..i havent missed a beat..i work, i attend classes, and i eat whatever the hell i want, and i drink whatever i want including coffeee !!! I have been handiling it just fine and so can you ! We are in this together..hang in there man

      http://www.generalfuzz.net/acrn/
       
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    3. Mario martz
      Creative

      Mario martz Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Crying is not a bad thing!!!!
      people need to learn that crying is part of your nature, just as we smile, laugh, shit, pee, etc crying and tears are part of our nature.
      and it comes from a very emotional place, and should never seen as weakness our shame.
      crying is good when needed, and also helps makes thinga barable.

      many people (like me a few years ago) are not able to cry and process emotions.
      i was told as a kid that man couldnt cry and express weakness.
      when my mother died i wasnt able to cry and thats why i suffered from anxiety.

      now if crying is not the problem, sadness is the issue.
      its normal and part of the journey being sad.
      but at some point its necessary to move on and let go.

      just think of all the innocent people who are in the hospital right now dealing with an uknown illness (like us but worse)
      who arent able to move, go to the bathroom by the selves, people whove just lost a wife, husband, a son.
      people in terrible accidents, etc... we need to realize that our situation is not the best, but could be worse

      focus on what you can do.
      you can taste a very good food, go to the park for a nice walk, sleep well (some us can), enjoy a great movie in netflix, write a letter for someone you love, cook for someone or learn how to cook, listen to music you love.
      sing, dance, work out, meet new people, go for a drink at starbucks, find new cool places to hang out in the day time, adopt a puppy or dog, read a new book,
      learn a new lenguage, take someone to the movies and wear ear plugs, go buy something nice :)
      there is no stopping for happiness.
       
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    4. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @Mario martz

      Dammit, I'm crying as I write this. Ya know, I know to think in the bright side. How some people have way worse than me and can barely do everyday things. But that just makes me feel worthless because I'm sitting over here crying about the curveballs life throws at me. Why am I crying over sown thing so pointless and has little significance. Why are things in my life affecting me so much? I used be known as the "The Solid Rock". Cool, calm, and collected. I rarely cried. Now I'm simply crying over my mom bringing up that her boss at work has T too. I'm crying when I have to wear earplugs everywhere. It's not normal for me at all and I beat myself up over it because everyone is making fun of me and it's not like myself.
       
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    5. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I'll try to stay positive you guys. I just have to find another hobby. When I feel my tears welling up, I think about my favorite guy from a boy band. Then I realize it's from a band and I can't listen to music since I have T. Then that makes me even more sad and my eyes tears up more. Then my voice shakes or cracks. Then someone asks what's wrong. Then I break and crying like a little wimp. And I cry for a good 20 minutes. And I beat myself up about it and feel bad which makes me flustered. Maybe if I find something else positive to think about, I can prevent myself from being a crybaby.
       
    6. Michael B

      Michael B Member

      Kazue, instead of judging yourself whether crying is right or wrong, you need to ask yourself why you are crying? I'm assuming you're feeling angry or depressed over tinnitus. For whatever reason, if it continues you might want to seek help from your GP.
       
    7. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Welcome to the forum @Kazue.

      Give yourself a break and don't press so hard on why you are now a crying baby. Forgive yourself and accept things as they are, at least for now when your body is still traumatized by the T experience. I call this 'nerve overload' and it is hard to contain any emotional moment without shedding tears. It is a protective mechanism of the body to release stress. They crying helps you soothe from a nervous breakdown. So let it be and give yourself a break to let the brain trying to protect you from nerve overload, from anxiety and panic. Here are sample articles from many sites talking about why crying is good and you shouldn't need to feel ashamed by crying uncontrollably.

      http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/signs/feel-like-crying
      http://www.newhealthadvisor.com/Why-Do-I-Cry-for-No-Reason.html

      Try to understand that your T is relatively new and that your body may still be going through this trauma and shock, high stress and anxiety that the T experience has inflicted on it. Let it heal on its own time, cry all you need. Don't force yourself not to cry if it feels like crying. Flow with life and flow with your reality without painful resistance to your crying. Your reality now is high stress living with a new T. Accepting this reality and giving your body time to heal from the T and its trauma will make life easier for you.
      Why I say that? Because I was like you before. I speak from experience. I have suffered from anxiety and panic disorder from decades. I used to be a strong guy but let me tell you, extreme stress, anxiety and panic has weakened my nerve so much that at one time, my mother thought she was having her grown son like a baby again. She literally had to sing lullaby to help me calm down to sleep. Crying uncontrollably was common in those days. So I know and have true empathy on what you are going through.

      Try to accept things as they are. Try to do something proactively to heal your nerves, such as going for hobbies, to outdoor life, to focus on the beauty of life besides T. Not going to be easy at this stage. But one step at a time, one day at a time. Time is on your side. If you need something to help you calm and sleep, you can try some natural alternatives, such as Lemon Balm, Valerian, Hops, Catnips, Passion Flower, Chamomile, Lavender, Kava, Melatonin etc. You can google search each of them to know their use and see if you can take them as a supplement. Check out this site on using natural herbs for helping to sleep or to calm the nerves. Take good care. God bless.

      http://www.christopherhobbs.com/lib...ealth/herbs-and-natural-remedies-for-insomnia

      Here is my success story if you wish to know how I turnaround from my ultra high pitch T and severe hyperacusis. I was in a mess initially. But today I live a perfectly normal and absolutely enjoyable life. Don't despair and don't lose hope. Things will get better. Try to read up as many success stories as you can. Try to learn some good strategies and most of all, give it time. Take good care. God bless.

      http://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
       
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    8. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      Kazue darling a good cry often helps. I hand't cried in years before this, I am 41 and I've cried more in the last few months than in my whole life, I'm sure I've got wrinkles from it...! t is a new reality for all of us and, irrespective of our age, responsibilities, there is going to be a period of adjustment.
      Let your emotions run their course but also seek help if you are feeling low, there's no harm in seeking help, do you have a school counselor or a gp?
       
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    9. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @Michael B @Candy Yes, I just went to my first therapy session. And the lady I barely knew confessed she had T since birth. I cried in front of her and my mom and felt like crap.
       
    10. MikeL1972

      MikeL1972 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      3/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uknown
      Hey Kazue,

      It's okay to cry. Get it out of your system. I cried once in March when I first got tinnitus and then I remembered that 20-30 million in the U.S. alone have tinnitus, so there are countless others who have this and are living productive lives (ie. working, raising families, going to school, etc). I think it's the "fear factor" that affects us the most, like tinnitus is the boogeyman or something; Tinnitus does not kill people.

      Instead of focusing on the past, focus on the future. Do the things you enjoy and do not allow minor issues to set you back. I said minor because in the scheme of things, tinnitus is minor compared to more malicious issues such as cancer, paralysis, etc. As an example, a few years ago I was at my local post office and saw a guy working there aged 55-60 who obviously had a stroke because one side of his body was paralyzed, yet he was still working. Or how about 'greeters' at Walmart and Home Depot who are wheelchair bound, yet still choose to be productive. I don't know about you, but I would rather have use of my arms and legs AND tinnitus than paralysis any day of the week.

      Just take one day at a time, Kaz, and you will get to the place you want to be. :)
       
    11. Mahr
      Tired

      Mahr Member Benefactor

      Location:
      The Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown, probably hair cell damage
      As I wrote to you in a pm, you let your emotions out and that is a good thing. Like Candy wrote, I haven't cried in years and boy would I like to cry for a while! You are not a crybaby, you are on your way of finding yourself back again. Feeling the pain is the first step!
       
    12. glynis-harbron
      Feminine

      glynis-harbron Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      England, Stoke-on-Trent
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      Hi Kazue,
      We are all here for you and we understand how you feel.
      Emotions come out of the blue and tinnitus can make us really sad and I'm sure most of us still shed a few tears when it gets to us .
      Life will get better over time and you will come through this stronger .
      We are here around the clock to support you and a good cry can work wonders .
      See your doctor for help and support also and your family.
      Sending you lots of hugs....lots of love glynis
       
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    13. snow47
      Cold

      snow47 Member

      Location:
      Iran
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I think pressure to jaw.
      Me too. I cried with a few emotional scenes. a few days before I cried front of my friend. He was surprised.
       
    14. Tom Cnyc

      Tom Cnyc Member

      Location:
      NYC
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Warehouse event after years of enjoying music.
      you're early stages man. at 2 months I was a wreck. at 6 I'm living life for the most part.
       
    15. marqualler
      Nerdy

      marqualler Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Minneapolis, MN
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection / Mild Noise Induced Hearing Loss
      Crying is a good, healthy release of emotions. Don't feel ashamed of it--let it all out.
       
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    16. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I know. I'm pretty much used to my T. It doesn't affect me anymore. I'm living life too but I'm stick of crippling anxiety coming over me.
       
    17. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      @MikeL1972

      Thank you for you kind words of wisdom. I do look on the bright side. There's this guy I know who is wheel chair bound but still works a movie theater. He's alive and happy. I know I shouldn't complain. There are people who have it way worse. There are people who have T and live their lives like before. It's just a bit disappointing when you have to change your life for a condition. People lose jobs, relationships, hobbies, career, life choices, enjoying in life due to T. I agree that we must move on and continue life but damn. I have to switch my life around.
       

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