I Don't Know How to Continue

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Emmi, Sep 10, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Emmi
      Not amused

      Emmi Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure
      Hello everyone,

      10 months ago my life changed drastically and I weirdly didn't realize the huge impact this would have at first. My Tinnitus started after going clubbing with a slight flu and after it didn't go away for a few days I went to see an ENT. He told me not to worry and that it will disappear by its own. And I just believed that as it was what I was thinking anyways. I hardly could believe that this would NOT go away. I was so convinced that this will only be a temporary thing that I was not worried at all. I continued my normal life and everything was pretty much as usual. I could sleep normally and only heard the sound occasionally although it was annoying me sometimes, but I just kept thinking "sooner or later it will be over". Problem is, that didn't happen.

      After having this problem for nearly 6 months I thought that I would have to start doing something against it. And that is when the most horrible time of my life started. I kept running from doctor to doctor, moved back to my parents, cancelled an exchange semester, because the only thing I could think about was finding a cure. Also the noise increased and I now have some weird pressure in my ears as well, but the doctors say my ears are fine and my hearing is perfect. (although I think the hearing test goes only until 8kHz and my frequency must be around 9kHz, so maybe I have hearing loss in 9kHz??!) Anyways, I couldn't find a cure and my hope that the ringing will just stop by its own is also decreasing from day to day. Soon I have my one year anniversary and I am so scared about this day.

      Right now my life is so depressing and sad. I used to have so many plans, living life to the fullest. I hardly ever had any problems in my life so far, I guess this is one reason why I was not worried in the beginning. But now I am losing my positive view and also the trust in myself and in life in general. I am not sure if everything will be good in the end. The beauty of life just kills me right now and constantly think of a way out. It is so bitter and difficult to accept that there is nothing I can do, that would make it disappear. Usually you have a problem and you somehow solve it. But for this problem, there is just no solution. That is what makes me completely nuts right now. There is NOTHING I can do, I just have to endure this now for a long, long time. Caught inside my body. I feel so trapped, that I really start to think about death as a "solution", because I am so scared of living a life full of suffering, agony and bitterness. Will I now get year by year done in the hope of some day being the day the cure comes? I strongly feel that it would be so wrong to just throw my life away because of some months in hell, but what if my life is just like that now? What if I continue to live in hell? I really don't know what to do at the moment.

      Is there maybe someone who can relate to my feelings? And do you know people who have a noise-induced Tinnitus and actually got rid of it after years? Is there still hope? Thank you all! Em
       
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    2. Penate

      Penate Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/04/2015
      I'm so sorry, I'm in the same situation even worse, but unfortunately isn't nothing for this horrendous condition, the only one in the world no treatment, is a shame.
       
    3. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I can relate. Although I was devastated from the start. I was told by an ENT in the first week that it was likely permanent.

      Do you hear it everywhere? Do you have noise sensitivity too?
       
    4. Bobby B
      Fine

      Bobby B Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term NIHL and recent acoustic trauma
      for me it got better - and after a while your mind can switch it off.
      I am getting the "hang of my T" I can switch if off if I decide to - its still there but I stopped getting worried about it. The mind is very powerful.

      I hear it when I wear ear protection, or in my bedroom, but the sound itself is really less overwhelming than it was during the first 1 to 6 months

      I never had stress or anxiety/depression issues.Not planning on starting now ! - T is enough crap to deal with.

      My T is due to noise only.


      But I did a lot of light therapy, and took tons of supplements as well.
      The T sound is thinner overall, now after 10 months. Much Easier to habituate.

      Maybe try LT ? also protecting my ears from everyday noise helped to get some healing.
      This is yet another point ENT will miss out when they simply say "there is nothing we can do "
       
    5. MikeP505
      Curious

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!
      @Emmi

      Your story is very similar to countless other sufferers. I went thru each and everything you are going thru now including thoughts of just "checking out"! Trust me, your reactions to Tinnitus are NORMAL and even expected.

      I won't try to blow a bunch of happy news in your ears, but I will tell you that it's best you learn to accept what has happened and adapt as well as you can to the conditions. Your life is NOT over, nor should your future outlook be. Don't kick yourself in the ass for going clubbing or what ever blame you place on getting this dreaded noise, but accept it has happened and focus less on the issue and more on tomorrow.

      Talk to your GP and any specialist he/she may suggest. They may not be able to help cure anything, but the more you learn about it, the easier it gets to accept it. Be careful with the medications being prescribed for other issues involved with suffering from Tinnitus. Medications for anxiety, sleep, depression etc etc can be habit forming and you just added another issue to the one that you may permanently now have?? I have been thru the gauntlet, so trust me on this. You are still young, beautiful and have a full and purposeful life ahead of you.

      This may help you feel a tad better.......... I started having issues with Tinnitus back in 2005. It was mild and never worried about it much. It did get a little worse over the next 6 years but not bad. Suddenly in 2011, I had to go in for emergency surgery on my left kidney (the only one I have). Two days home after the surgery I woke up almost deaf and the Tinnitus was massive. I could still here OK in my left ear only for the next couple years even with the loud and horrible Tinnitus. My hearing loss in the left ear got to the point I needed a hearing aid, so I invested close to $3000.00 in a good unit. That worked for about a year then POOF, woke up one morning in Aug. 2015 (last year) and completely deaf. No hearing aid could work. Nothing I could do. Try being totally deaf AND suffer Tinnitus so severe as mine. Really thought it was just time to end it. I mean seriously, what can I now do to lead a productive life right? Well it didn't take me long to snap out of my self pity and push on. I struggle daily to the likes most cannot imagine. I live in cramped quarters with a family member until I can get subsidized housing. Hard to stay gainfully employed when you cannot hear and suffer from severe T.

      Fortunately there is one last option to possibly restore some hearing in one ear. I am currently trying to qualify for a Cochlear Implant. Google it if you never heard of them. So far I have been givin the green light but I meet the surgeon just next week, who will make the final decision on if I qualify to be placed on the waiting list for the surgery. I am positive all will go fine. The problem is, there are over 200 now on the list, and the hospital gets funding for 120 procedures per year. Worst case scenario is I might have to wait up to 2 years before I get this done and begin to hear again. However, they understand the impact of Sudden Hearing Loss has on someone, as compared to those who lose hearing slowly, and may be able to get placed in a priority capacity and moved up the list. Fingers crossed!!

      So hang in there. Things could be worse. Try not to entertain those negative thoughts. Even deaf, I know I still have a life to live. Even with this loud steam whistle I have in each ear, there is still a life to live. Try to eat well, feel well, exercise, and reduce the stress from all of this as best you can. You are beautiful. Don't give up!!

      Mike
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    6. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      Darling feel for u - read and print success stories get them from Bta, Ata.
      Try CBT it will teach you some techniques that can help. U mentioned u went on with business as usual in the beginning which is very promising in my humble opinion. How much was it bothering u when u thought it would fade? This is where CBT can help. Personally was told mine was there to stay from the beginning so never got to test that out. However doubt it would have been a minor bother for 6 months - which to me is very encouraging in ur case.
      We all have to hope there will be something in the near future to help - more research is now taking place than ever and hey when it happens u may have habituated and not be bothered.
      It's hard I know, I've read some inspiring stories on here, some triumphs even.

      Hugs, stay strong, speak to ur parents about ur thoughts x
       
    7. Christian78
      Alone

      Christian78 Member

      Location:
      Gothenburg
      Tinnitus Since:
      (Sep 2013)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      progressive tinnitus, time of expiring in next 3-6 months
      I have triple citizenship. I decided to get someone to live with me, I have 75m2 and economy is not problem. I live in Sweden, I would prefered a guy/man but girl is ok too.

      Becouse of this condition I would get papers faster for a person. I live to visit my parents and i am lousing hearing rapidly on left ear and I dont know why.

      I will live enough to get that person Sweedish EU passport and then kill myself probably. I herd from one friend she has tinnitus that is so hard that she can turn tv on to max so everyone in building hear it and she still hear noise.
       
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    8. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Welcome to the forum. Most members here can relate to your feelings. Your initial sufferings are normal and most members here understand how you feel because we have been where you are. Many members have T from acoustic trauma, noise induced type. They get better, myself included, over time after learning some strategies and applying them. The best place to start is to read up the success stories. Many members have worse symptoms of T, even hyperacusis and/or pulsatile tinnitus. So you shouldn't be too pessimistic about your propect of getting better. Try to copy success from others. I have ultra high pitch T and severe H and was in a mess initially like most new members. But over time and after learning some nice strategies plus some of my own, I turn around and today live a normal, happy and absolutely enjoyable life. I hope you will get better. Here is my story with some helpful strategies. Check it out. I also include the most read story of IWLM who is back to silence after 40 years of T from exposing to loud music. Take good care. God bless.

      http://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

      The most read success story ‘Back to Silence’ with a simple effective strategy by IWLM:

      http://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/
       
      • Like Like x 1
    9. just1morething
      Benevolent

      just1morething Member Benefactor

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      barotrauma from airplane descent, noise exposure? ETD? TMJD?
      Usually the Tricyclic ADs are recommended for tinnitus as referenced here:https://www.ata.org/managing-your-tinnitus/treatment-options/drug-therapies

      I only have experience with Nortriptyline which gave me bad dry mouth, but seemed to help considerably with my noise. I guess I did try Protriptylene briefly but had difficulty urinating so quit.

      I was told by a ATA reference person years ago to treat the depression, not the tinnitus. He recommended a AD. I do not like SSRI type meds, so may try a tricyclic once again as my noise has acted up recently.
       
    10. MikeP505
      Curious

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!
      @Christian78

      What you are feeling and going thru is normal. Don't despair and dont give up on all your tomorrows. You still have a long, healthy and productive life ahead of you. Hang in there buddy. Talk to your doctor about everything!
       
    11. volsung37

      volsung37 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014
      Hang in there. At least you can sleep, that is half tbe battle. I don't sleep much now. You will come to a point where you don't give a fuck anymore and that is where paradoxically you will start to get your life back. Not the life you had before, something different and a bit scary., but it will have its moments of joy.
       
    12. Christian78
      Alone

      Christian78 Member

      Location:
      Gothenburg
      Tinnitus Since:
      (Sep 2013)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      progressive tinnitus, time of expiring in next 3-6 months

      My tinnitus got worse progresivly 27 times in last year, i had moments where i dont care, BUT i can not do nothing bcs as soon i start using my huge brain t srat going up and will not go down until sleepover. For me there is no getting used becouse for some reason i am lousing hearing and my t is rising, new tone appered 20 days ago and got stronger 5 days ago. I can not get used to it. I am just getting progresivly worse. And if i wake up in morning early my t start to go up up up so then i cant fall a sleep again, and if i do fall a sleep when i wake up it is double like when you had a nap. Many people have afternoon nap problem, so if i fall a sleep 5 min i wake with double tinnitus and ret of day is torture.
       
    13. volsung37

      volsung37 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014
      That sucks Christian. I can't nap at all during the day. My brain seems to be on alert or something. I get new sounds about once a month. However something has changed in me. I seem to be able to tolerate not sleeping much whereas before I was sure it was going to kill me. I had suicidal thoughts but I realised how precious life is even a shit one like mine now. When I eat I really try to taste the food. When I take a walk I treat it like it might be my last. I don't know what caused my tinnitus or how I'm going to be next week, month or year if it progresses but I don't really care. I'm not afraid of death although I would like an easy one and if I have to I have no problem looking for ways out.
       
    14. Emmi
      Not amused

      Emmi Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure
      Hello everyone,

      thank you for your answers! It helps knowing not to be alone with this. I know it is weird, because I was first not really struggling with it that much and now I feel like I am living in hell. But it was very mild in the beginning and I was just too sure about it fading. Now it got worse over time and I just can't imagine getting used to this new level and I honestly question if it will be worth it?! Out of my current perspective that just means a life in hell. Right now I am not able to sleep without any sleeping pills anymore. I wish for an improvement every night and every morning I wake up and there is only desperation. Nothing changed. I am so sick of this torture. And I can't decide what frightens me more right now living or dying. But I know it needs time and patience.. it is just so difficult accepting something that you just don't want to accept in any way. But there is nothing we can really do about it, just wait.
       
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    15. volsung37

      volsung37 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014
      Yes it is a waiting game. Anything can happen. It could get worse but it might get better. I had 8 months of hell with pulsatile tinnitus last year. One day it went away. I had 8 months then of blissful normality before I got 'ordinary' T.
       
    16. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      Keep on going Emmi, u owe yourself the chance to habituate...I know it sounds impossible but there are people out there enjoy g their lives with tinnitus, that's what my therapist says!
       
      • Like Like x 1
    17. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      Believe it or not, but, this board used to have a doctor who also was the former head of the ATA and he stated that the loudness of tinnitus does not really matter. It is all about reaction - see for yourself:
      Source: www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-tinnitus.6510

      His solution? Just tell tinnitus to get off at the next stop...
      Interestingly, the above quote was taken from a thread that was titled - in part - "masturbation" (I guess tinnitus boards have it all don't they...?).
       
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    18. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      What @Christian78 is going through is definitely not normal. Severe debilitating tinnitus is not normal.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    19. MikeP505
      Curious

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!
      Emotionally my friend......................
       
    20. MikeP505
      Curious

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!
      @Emmi

      Give it time girl. Try not to despair or worry about it ruining your future. It totally sucks having Tinnitus but we have it. In time you will find things to do that take your mind off of this somewhat and then other things will come into your life to focus on. I am not afraid of living with Tinnitus. Nor am I afraid of dying as this is a path all of us will one day cross. What would scare me more is missing the wonders of this planet in all her glory even with this dreaded ringing. In time you focus less on it.
       
    21. Christian78
      Alone

      Christian78 Member

      Location:
      Gothenburg
      Tinnitus Since:
      (Sep 2013)
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      progressive tinnitus, time of expiring in next 3-6 months

      Thank you @attheedgeofscience. You are totaly right...

      I have tinnitus 3 years now. Firt time it doubled itself was 5 months after initial start. I messured my hearing with audiologist. After 20 months form hearing i could control a bit of my tinnitus by listening sounds that have same freq as my tinnitus. Now I dont heare those sounds at all on my left ear. Why i dont know. It is just ending my life.

      Every 2 monhts my tinnitus get new stronget tone. Now evem faster. Last 20 days i got new that went severe. If anyone went to doctors I went, Switcerland just visit was 2600 €, Belgium, Croatia, Sweden... Neurologist, loreta qeeg, homepathy, ENT min 20 diferent, hiperbaric chanber 2x 11 days(in start), vitamins, many antioxidants, trobalt was only meds that turned it of 4 months, chinese accupuncture, doctor that magistrated in china too, and one ordinary EU accupuncturist, massagers progesionalist, 2 MRI of head, one of spine. Blood check with electrolites, radicals, reuma factors, imuno factors, normal blood check, all possible hormones, complete blood picture, sight check, brain check with ABR something, hearing aids, psikological therapy to calm down...

      All blood check and spine+head mri came so they said i am healthy i can be astronaut. Thy can not find nothing wrong, they just wrote me papers sorry we cant help you. Psikiatry said sorry, neurologist said sorry, i did not get releaf from anithing except trobalt.

      dear @MikeP505 i know i am dead man walking. I use meds that disable my ability to read, to play a game, hiperacusys dont let me go out, my sleaping if i wake up turn on my tinnitus and i cant fall a sleep again, simply I am dead man walking. I know I will die soon from it. I just try to live as much and enjoy as much as I can before I go.

      I wish to give you my tinnitus for 1 months, so to see would you scream in pain and agony knowing next month will be worse and new T will apear as for me 28 times. I wish you can not read a book becouse concentration make your t worse (temporary until you sleep over) or can not play a game, or you can not go out of house becouse of sound of car, or have to turn of heating element becouse of his, or can not use cattle to boil wated, or you can not cook becouse magnetic stove has a ventilor or you can not use house stove ventilator that take steam, or you can not walk where is sound of leaves, or you can not go to gym becouse of music and clank of weights, or you can not go with a friend becouse you did nto sleep and you feel really down so your live is horror movie and you really dont want anyone to see you like that, ir you can not use vaccum cleaner to clean house, or puting water in bath to relax makes hiss, or going in the night to toalet to pee and you can not flush water becouse it is painful and wake you up so your tinnitus start to riste 40% in next 3 minutes, or you have to have total darkness to sleep, or when your mother need to drive you to horpital to do some blood test you cant go becouse you cant stand noise in car, or if your mother want to take you in nature you just say you cant stand drive of 1h, or when you see a cake and you cant eat it becouse flavour enhancer makes it bad or spartam or some chemical they put, or when you get a flue you cant take paracetamol or any medicine becouse you end up with bad hearing and incresed t in 20 days, or when you get inflamation of shoulde or wrist so when you get corticosteroid injestion u wake up with monster that is so stron and it never goes away you just stays as new level, or you cant use laptop becouse of hissing noise of ventilor that is cousing hyperacusis that couse irritation that then stress you up and you end with strong tinnitus, not to mention public transport and people and children screeming, you can not take any antidepresive becouse what you noticed is 4 of them worsen your condition, you cant take anibiotics (sintetik) and you hope you dont harm your self so you dont end up in surgery, you cant fall, you cant not allow anything happening, no germs of viruses or influenca, you cant allow nothing to happen to you as you react very bad on it so it can mean end of your live. You live like zombi under medication that cut of your brain so it happens that when you try to go somewhere you enter wrong bus (even with guiding of trafic mobile phone app) and then you realise it and then you step of and then again you enter wrong tram/bus, you get to point where you can not type or sign your name as it looks like someone with essential tremor tried to sign it, you get night sweat so you have to go up change your clothing or flashes afront your eyes, you get agresive or rude not becouse you want but becouse of your meds and your pain, or you kill you front upper no 1 tooth nerve becouse you have been clanching you teeth in pain so now you squeshed nerve ending and i had to do rooth filling, normal tooth but grinding tauma, you are creple who has no hope he will live long and he appriciate every day he has before end, but you get this new monster that you cant really stand, and then you eat just sweet becouse it makes you bit happy but you get 10kg in 40 days and now you have problems with weight, on your face you get something like psoriasis and chin becouse of stress and u use cream that thin your skin so now you can see capilars under, or maybe in 2 years you louse most of your hair, and you turn to white all over your body, from pubic hear, over chest to head, you take your meds and they lover tinnitus but you forget things so you have to write it down, or you get bit high and those 1,5 h is your only happiness becouse after it it will keep a bit (25%, sometimes up to 50%) for some hours so you would be able to speak with parents and chat little with your friends like now, as that is all left from your life, from a person who was Assitent of professor and who has it eletrotehnician, computer engineeer (digital comunitation, industrial programing with robotics, digital electronics), masager, person who knew so much about medicine, whose hoby is reading , tv shows, very much botanics and flowers, mechanics, who worked from ninth year as carpenter, who worked for USAid as project menager in administration of completion of recunstruction (drowing mechanical pard and AutoCad), who worked as pizza maker in pizeria, or traveling seller, production menager... and now person who lives when he pays bills on 400€.

      I wish you just 30 days to live this life and then you will have a right to say it is nothing? OK? Deal?

      @attheedgeofscience, there is doctor in a Norway, who is doing LLLT last 35 years and who is attending conference, price is some 900€ with trips and staying but she is somehow sure she can help with hearing and hyperacusis. What is your oppinion? Please tell me
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    22. MikeP505
      Curious

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!
      @Christian78

      You are right. I suffer only mild hyperacusis but this may be because I am now totally deaf. I can only hear loud bangs,sirens,alarms in my right ear, and when I hear them, I must cover my ear immediately or it becomes painful. My tinnitus screams at such a high pitch, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year. Never ever for even a second does it stop. I lost my job. I live in poverty with a family relative in a very small space that just adds misery because I can no longer afford to pay rent here from lack of employment. If you asked me 6 years ago what I would be doing today, I would have told you I most likely would be working hard at my job and saving as much as possible to retire in 10-12 years. I got sick with a kidney issue, lost all my hearing and Tinnitus very loud. Turned my life upside down. Lost job, many friends, family think I am just weak and letting this get to me, talk behind my back like I am a child, my car is old and may not last long and no money to buy another one, credit card is full, I must eat very cheap, I avoid most people because too hard to communicate. Everyone gets mad at me if I do not go to party or wedding, (too noisy for hyperacusis and cannot hear anybody), need to get other people to make phone call for me, my clothes are all old now cause no money for new, old shoes, socks with holes, but.................... I still have hope some day there will be help for all of this. I also still want to see my friends sometimes, I want to walk in the rain, lay on the beach in sun, and help to educate people on how hard Tinnitus AND Sudden Hearing Loss is on people. Make young kids more aware with school teaching.

      I am sure you suffer much more than I do. I hope you can find something to help because we do not wish to see you go. I hope to see you in one year from now, and 2 years from now, and read your stories on what has helped, and learn from you.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
    23. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      East Coast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1998
      Hi @Emmi,

      sorry to hear you're having such an unpleasant go of this. A couple things jumped out at me about your post, though.

      You were able to live with this for six months and only have it be a mild to moderate bother, and it sounds like it only became intolerable (and subjectively worse) after you started trying to fight it rather than accepting it as normal and temporary, right? I think that says a lot.

      It may be that your tinnitus will eventually go away, and it may be that some day we'll all be cured. But, realistically, it may be that neither of those things happen. As far as "everything will be good in the end" -- it's a good life philosophy, I really believe that, but it's probably not "rational". Over time, our bodies fail us, we develop pain from things that didn't used to hurt, and then eventually something breaks badly enough that the body can't tolerate it, and we die. That's just how it works. It's not pleasant or happy to ruminate on that, but worrying about it is as useless as worrying about the eventual heat death of the universe. If you've never had to really look that reality in the eye before, it can be terrifying and overwhelming -- we are trapped in our bodies. We often experience the world with the idea that we're disembodied eternal souls experiencing the wonder of the infinte, and then, poof, some jerk in a BMW doesn't signal when they change lanes and you end up having to get your leg amputated and you can never walk or run or crawl again. It's painful, terrible BS and it happens every minute of every day, and, again, that's just what life is on one very real level.

      I don't think it's impossible that the increase you've experienced in your tinnitus is actually being driven by your increasing despair; I have had that experience. So, if you can't really work on the tinnitus, try to work on your despair: the frank, cynical reality of death and dismemberment that I've laid out in this post is something that everyone is aware of on some level, and yet mostly people go about their lives, buy stuff at Wal-Mart, laugh at dumb jokes, etc.

      You may not be able to change your tinnitus, at least not directly (god knows I've tried). You can change the nature and substance of your thoughts and experience, though. Because you were lucky enough to have that six months of tinnitus without it being a life-ruining thing, maybe it's useful to really reflect on that, and try to figure out what was going on in your mind then, and what's different now. It may be tempting to just say "well, at that point I didn't think this was permanent and now I do and so I can't tolerate it the same way". There may be some truth to that, but, why is it different now? It's the same problem. If you can figure that out, you may be able to tolerate it again and just have it be a minor annoyance and not a lifestyle.
       
    24. MikeP505
      Curious

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!
      @linearb

      In reference to your post to @Emmi , she did say it got worse. I totally get that as mine had a massive jump overnight awhile back and stayed there. Of course it's troubling, and scary when we have something get worse and no understanding of the issue or why. You question many things about the future when that happens and worry that it will get even worse..... or worse worse worse.... You see doctors who can offer little help. Talk to family and friends who offer support but no answers. You wonder what this will do to your future. Very natural reactions.

      You are so right in your post about many things tho. If you think about the worse, things are bound to get worse. Really takes time to wrap your head around everything, and learn as much about the conditions we have, before we can begin to let go some. Education and time are key here. I believe Emmi will be fine in the years to come if she WANTS to be fine. You must be strong minded over matter.

      Like an old joke I heard one day before my total hearing loss......

      Blonde goes to see her shrink and asks him if he can change a light bulb for her. The shrink replies.... " Why YES, but only if it WANTS to change".........
       
      • Like Like x 1
    25. Stakovic

      Stakovic Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1998
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      So why there is no serious research on this way? :(
       
    26. Song interpreter
      Creative

      Song interpreter Member

      Location:
      Southern California
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Too much noise
      I have noticed that for many things, fighting it makes it worse. Tinnitus is one of those things. It is possible to forget about it for stretches of time, if you're not looking for it all the time. If you allow yourself to enjoy a few things, the focus on enjoyable things can take your focus off the less pleasant things.

      We have a choice. We can complain about things around us or find things to enjoy and be thankful we can enjoy them. It takes practice. I have friends that live with chronic pain. It is part of their normal life. One friend, the pain medication eats her stomach, so she uses it only on her worst days. She walks on a broken hip. She can not get a hip replacement at this time. Going into the marketplace causes migraines, because of all the artificial smells people use in their shampoos, deodorants etc. Does she complain? Not much. It's just a fact of life. I think I prefer this ringing to the constant pain that she experiences.

      If you focus on the negative, you will find it. If you look for the good, you find it. We have a choice!

      Does this mean I don't hear ringing? Right now, it's at about 50-60 decibels. It's louder than my refrigerator humming. Once I get off this forum and get on with my day, I can focus on other things and this will be come background until my house is quiet again.

      You do have to have a plan to avoid increasing the ringing. Do that, then enjoy your life within your new parameters. It's like working with food allergies. Once you know what you can't eat, look at all the things you can eat! And stop complaining about what you can't eat. Eat them if you want, but know the consequences. Otherwise, make a plan and find the good in your life.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    27. InfiniteLoop
      Sunshine

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure. Very high frequency hearing loss (>8KHz)
      @Emmi

      Remain calm.... Your description of the T angst is very vivid, and you are totally right that is a riddle without solution. Just try to avoid giving any meaning to the noise.
       
    28. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK, Fareham
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      I hope it goes away for you, but my understanding is after around 3 months it's likely it is going to stay.
      I think until you accept this you might be stuck when it comes to moving on.
      Of course there's nothing wrong with hoping it goes away. I hope one day mine does. But I accept there's a high chance I'll have it for good. In fact I know it's a lot more likely it's going to stay than its going to go.
      I think you need to accept it''s very likely going to stay.
       
    29. Candy

      Candy Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unidentified
      @Christian78 please don't give up, you've been so resourceful till now, finding all those Drs. Live for my kids right now, hoping, as time goes by, that I will also find some peace for myself.
      Getting H under control would be one step forward, then you can start distracting from the tinnitus and going out, maybe in nature, maybe with a dog that doesn't bark too loud, the simple things.
      U're not alone...x
       
    30. Penate

      Penate Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/04/2015
      I hope one day government and health department read this post , and they can see how much we are suffering.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Good Question Good Question x 1

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If you have ringing ears then you've come to the right place. We are a friendly tinnitus support board, dedicated to helping you discuss and understand what tinnitus treatments may work for you.