I Feel Robbed

I don't know what good this will do but I need to post this where at least someone will understand. About a week ago I woke up with a ringing in my right ear, it turns out I have fluid behind my ear drum and it's caused a quite loud almost morse code tapper like sound in both my ears.
I've been given steroid nasal spray to get rid of the fluid, but the tinnitus is what is really bringing me to the lowest point I've been in my life. I asked the doctor when he prescribed the nasal spray 'so long as it stops the ringing I'll be fine' he told me 'well it might never go away'. I didn't have time to ask questions it was up and out.
I totally broke down - I'm only 16 and I feel robbed. I don't mean to cause offence to anyone reading this but I always assumed tinnitus happened to veterans or just the elderly.
I panicked and started to look online for solutions to the ringing -thinking that my hearing would just bounce back. I'm horrified to discover that in most cases it actually gets worse with time. I told myself that I will habituate and get used to it.
However, suddenly a new noise started on top of the old noises - a high pitched air raid siren kind of noise, combined with the noise a vacuum cleaner makes from a distance. These sounds don't originate from either ear, they come from both and sound directly behind me and are impossible to mask.
I'm at the lowest pint I've ever been and am considering suicide. What if this gets worse as my life goes on? I don't feel like I'm loving I'm just existing in agony. All of his from an ear infection.

I'm asking now - does it get better? Will there be any new noises? It only started a week ago, is there hope for me? I know this sounds desperate but I have never been so challenged ever.

 

The actual sounds I'm hearing - the tinnitus are only getting louder, as my ear drains. I've never been more scared.

 

Try and calm down. I've been there myself and im not gonna lie, i still have really bad days sometimes but you need to re assure yourself that everything will be fine. Its really tough i know but you are living in the right time. Research just keeps growing and there will be solid treatments coming out soon. This condition really should be the first priority of ENTs but its not even on their radar which is stupid because tinnitus makes an ear infection look like a pimple.

 

and there are stories where people's t have gotten better...dont just take in all the negative crap

 

Yep. I had "morse code" T for years. I got better. I don't hear it any more.

 

I honestly understand how you feel. I developed T when I was 16, too! It's awful the feeling that our youth was robbed from us, but it does get better.
http://www.tinnitus.org.uk/poppys-story
I can really relate to her story and I think you will too.

 

@Emma L
I had very loud tonal sound during ear infection.
It entirely passed or turned into very minor hiss - unless that hiss is from antibiotic usage.

It took 2 months so give it some time and calm down. It will get better.

 

@Dubbayaman, we are usually on the same page but please don't call the extreme cases of T *negative crap*. The way people here suffer has nothing to due with negativity or positivity. Some simply have it very bad and others have it mild. And yet they always manage to misunderstand one another cos people love to project themselves onto others with little to no empathy.

T can improve but also worsen. And above all it's whimsical. It has destroyed many lives. It doesn't exist in society. People are not interested in it at all. It's a taboo topic. They find it depressing and the only reaction you can anticipate is either pity or avoidance. If you ask those without T about it they gonna tell you straight that they would off themselves if they had such a condition. Those that have it want to end it all but don't know how or simply don't have the means to succeed.

 

All these feelings are very common and I would say normal. Don't rush to do anything because you are not yourself just now. This is a new thing you are dealing with and naturally it is frightening you. Most people seem to have these reactions at first.
It would be a shame to give up on your life already and at such a young age when there is certainly high possibility that once your ear problem is sorted out your T will disappear. I certainly hope this happens for you. But remember that if it doesn't, it does not mean your life is over. What seems an enormous problem right now may not seem so huge in time. You need time to adjust as this is something you certainly were not expecting to happen to you.
If you read some of my posts you will see what I have been living with for seven years and in the beginning I also prayed many times to die because I could not get out of bed - it was physically impossible for me. But in the last seven years I began home schooling my two girls, learned to speak Mandarin Chinese and I am also an interpreter for the deaf. I enjoy life and although I have some bad days where I am bedridden they do not last too long and I'm glad I'm not dead!
Do not imagine the worst. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. After all we can all imagine many kinds of terrible things and let our imaginations run away with us and scare ourselves silly. But those things we imagine might never happen so why waste energy worrying when you have plenty of real things that are enough to deal with for now.

 

It's hard to believe in the early stages, but for 99% of the people, it either goes away completely or you simply adjust to it so much to the point where you don't even hear it anymore unless you try to listen for it.

It may take a few weeks or months, but you're going to be just fine.

 

Hey,
Remember, your body wants to heal. Try this.. https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/