I Would Miss My Tinnitus If It Went Away — I Made It My Friend

Just thought I’d say hello from Scotland and introduce myself to give you a little history on my tinnitus journey.

I’m 42, and had tinnitus since I was around the age of 5, so it’s something I’ve grown up with, and learned to live with.

In my early teens I struggled with it and it nearly drove me mad, but I just learned to live with it and to be honest I’ve never heard pure silence. I do not know what it’s like.

It might sound crazy but I’d miss my tinnitus if it wasn’t there. It literally used to keep me awake at night but then I used it to actually help me get to sleep. It’s kinda now my friend. I stopped making it my enemy many many years ago.

I’ve been around people and went “ooohh that’s a new noise” if a new frequency creeps in and I get some weird looks!

All the best and to those that’s suffer, I understand your pain.

Matt

 

Hey @Matt Renton.

Absolutely love your post! What a positive outlook.

I have similar feelings towards my tinnitus. I see it as something I’ve ended up with because I’m a “true” metal head. I liked my music loud, and tinnitus is the price I paid - but whatever. I can’t change it, so I’ve made peace with it.

Like you said, I can’t actually remember true silence. It is my silence. And I can easily sit with it ringing in the background.

Anyway, hope you have a lovely day. Keep up the positive posts.

Steph

 

Nice positive post.

 

I am so close to being here myself. I still have rough moments but my tinnitus has put so many things in perspective and gave me a whole new meaning.

Also @Steph1710, I can relate to that!

 

Welcome, Matt. Great post. I think this should be moved to Success Stories!

My Grandad says the same. He has pretty severe tinnitus that he can hear everywhere, and he struggled massively when he first got it almost 50 years ago, but told me once that he 'wouldn't be without it now'.

 

I think it's subjective to everyone and when or how you hear it.

I could live with my new silence if it was filled with static like it used to be when mine began. In fact I was beginning to be able to live with it before worsening.

 

With all due respect, I think these posts should be tagged "Quiet", "Mild", "Moderate"," Severe". No one with very loud tinnitus would miss it being gone. I agree that quiet tinnitus is easy street, though.

 

I wrote one of the posts on here.

I should have stated that I can hear mine everywhere. I hear it outside, over the tv, over the car. I would say mine is most definitely moderate. And in fact, sometimes it has been severe.

Of course I would be happy if it were to disappear, but I’ve made peace with it. And because of that, it’s all good. It’s just there.

 

Well said @Steph1710.

 

Your story and experience with tinnitus is so inspiring to me. We've talked a few times here and there in comments so I'm not sure if you remember me but Steph, know this - your story has honestly saved my life in a way. I read your experience and felt true power, the power I needed to push forward and get to a better end. And with time and patience, I have reached that state.

I'm able to live my life because of the impact of members like you, you're so inspiring and even the way you persevere through your current struggles is so fucking amazing.

 

As long as people are speaking singularly and describing a personal experience with tinnitus, I don't see what the problem is. It only becomes a problem when people start speaking for everyone, i.e. 'Everyone can...', or 'No one with XX can...' etc.

We all experience tinnitus differently.

 

@kuromi, I want to say how wonderful your post was to me.

I am so, so glad that posting my personal experiences, laced with honesty and positivity, has had a positive impact on you.

I am so glad I could pass on the help that others on here have given me on my tinnitus journey. That’s what I love about this community. And hearing from kind and courageous people like you, that I’ve helped in some way, makes all my posting worthwhile. <3

I am delighted to hear you’re almost at peace with it. Just keep pushing forward. I know you can do it! You’re clearly a strong person, and not willing to give up.

Thank you again for your sweet message. It really has made my day.

All my love,
Steph <3

P.S This is us in our big pants hehe!

Also, I want to give a shout out to @Tanni. Not for any particular reason - just because I like her.

So hi Tanni!

 

On very rare occasions one of my ears "drops out" and I don't hear tinnitus at all for like a half a second. That is usually followed by "fleeting tinnitus" where it's louder than normal and then it resettles at baseline.

Now, it's hard to tell, but I think pretty much all of my hearing also drops out when this happens, so maybe that's why it feels so weird, but I try to remember those events to remember what it was like back before I got tinnitus.

It is a very very strange almost disoriented feeling.

I do wonder if my tinnitus suddenly vanished but the rest of my hearing remained the same what it would feel like, given that there is a lot of high frequency loss. The hiss actually serves a purpose when it blends in with white noise (rain, waterfall, crickets). If it were not there, it might really call attention to the frequency bands where I can no longer hear and that could be a stressor in and of itself.

 

I get that too. I think it's common.

 

Thank you

 

+1. It’s a strange feeling.

 

Hey @Steph1710, if you were my best friend, I could finally relate to that one Less Than Jake song.

 

As I'm reading this, I'm thinking these people are out of their minds. If it's not disrupting your life, I guess it's not a big deal. I would take a punch straight to the face from Mike Tyson if it made my ear stop screaming 24/7.