I'm New... Scared and Really Depressed :(

Hello,im just looking for support/advice really...as im losing my mind. I gave birth to my daughter 5 weeks ago and i had a spinal...afterwards i was really bad...vomitting shakey and staring into space...completely out of it...doctors blamed it on anxiety but i know the difference. Had pre eclampsia (very high bp) and still have the high bp...im currently on Labetalol (bp medicine) to keep my bp at a good state. Anyway cut a long story short...2 weeks ago i started to hear a hissing in both ears at night when i was trying to sleep...and since then it seems to have got worse....i also have other symptoms like tingly head and electric shock feeling in different parts of my body...but the main thing is the noise in my ears...its making me crazy...to the point where i am just wanting to be alone and not even care for my daughter...my partner keeps doing it all and its making me depressed...im not eating or sleeping properly...it hasnt even been that long and ive already thought i dont want to be here anymore id this carrys on or get worse...i keep googling things which probably doesnt help but im so scared and so depressed...its really affecting my life .. already... i loved my quiet times and now i feel i have no escape....my partner doesnt really get it and i feel so alone.. please somebody help me xx

 

Labetalol
Check with your doctor or nurse immediately if any of the following side effects occur:

More common

1. Dizziness
2. tingling of the scalp or skin

Less common

1. Abdominal or stomach pain
2. black, tarry stools
3. blurred vision
4. burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles", or tingling feelings
5. chills
6. clay-colored stools
7. confusion
8. dark urine
9. diarrhea
10. dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up from a lying or sitting position suddenly
11. fast, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
12. feeling of constant movement of self or surroundings
13. fever
14. general tiredness and weakness
15. headache
16. itching skin
17. light-colored stools
18. loss of appetite
19. nausea and vomiting
20. palpitations
21. sensation of spinning
22. skin rash
23. sweating
24. unpleasant breath odor
25. unusual tiredness or weakness
26. vomiting of blood
27. wheezing
28. yellow eyes or skin

Rare

1. Chest pain or discomfort
2. cough
3. difficult or labored breathing
4. difficulty swallowing
5. hives or welts
6. hoarseness
7. irritation
8. joint pain, stiffness, or swelling
9. large, hive-like swelling on face, eyelids, lips, tongue, throat, hands, legs, feet, or sex organs
10. lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting
11. puffiness or swelling of the eyelids or around the eyes, face, lips, or tongue
12. redness of skin
13. shortness of breath
14. slow heartbeat
15. swelling of eyelids, face, lips, hands, or feet
16. tightness in chest
17. troubled breathing or swallowing

Get emergency help immediately if any of the following symptoms of overdose occur:

Symptoms of overdose

1. Convulsions
2. dilated neck veins
3. extreme fatigue
4. irregular breathing
5. loss of bladder control
6. muscle spasm or jerking of all extremities
7. noisy breathing
8. sudden loss of consciousness
9. weight gain

Other side effects not listed may also occur in some patients. If you notice any other effects, check with your healthcare professional.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/labetalol-intravenous-route/side-effects/drg-20071176

Have you spoken with your physician about side effects? You may need to switch meds. High blood pressure is known to exasperate tinnitus. Are you testing your blood pressure regularly? What is your average blood pressure these days?
Notice "other side effects not listed may also occur in some patients." The tinnitus could be caused by the meds; it is possible.

 

@Kay86

Hang in there! Do as AnxiousJon suggests and have your BP medication evaluated. Also, have your anxiety and depression addressed. This is very important for you and your family.

I've said this numerous times before but I'll say it again: You're not alone. Many of us on this site have gone through (or are going through) the same thing you are right now. Without a doubt it sucks. There is no soft selling that. But, it's been proven that time can really help people to adjust. You probably won't believe it but a year from now you could very well be in a much better place both physically and mentally. So definitely seek out professional help. There's no shame in that plus it can help you to get some sort of mental relief.

Best wishes always.

 

Thank you both for replying. I have the doctor today in 2 hoirs but its an on call doctor and to be honest i know its only gonna be a moment of reassurance as theres nothing he will do there and then and it will still be there. I take my bp and it flucuates... sometimes 150/110 and then right down to 90/64 ...
Im going to bed at night hoping when i wake up it will be gone and its not...its really getting to me now...im crying all the time :'( Im not eating or drinking or even talking to my partner really...im not dealing with my daughter at all which is making me more depressed...
Im supposed to be viewing a house in 2 days for my family to move into i dont feel i can do that...
Mine feels like a constant hissing noise but if it gets worse i really wont cope as ive said ive already felt like i dont wanna be here with this.... if it is the meds will this be reversible tho? Or does anybody know? Its really getting me down...id rather lose s leg than this :'( Honestly....each day i just feel im 'coping' and cant wait to sleep to see if it goes....im so scared :'( I really am so so scared :'(

 

Hello @Kay86 ,
Please see a doctor as soon as you can. Let your GP know about your reaction to the anesthesia you received. It's possible that there was an error with that. Your high blood pressure and high stress could be contributing to the hissing in your ears. New babies can be both delightful and stressful and many new moms experience depression after childbirth. Your situation is compounded by noise in your ears . You may also need to have your hearing checked so go to your doctor right away.
It is good that your partner is helping out with the baby. Do you have any family who could come and help also? I am hoping that your tinnitus will diminish as time goes along and your body recovers from childbirth. Congratulations on your new baby girl!

 

Hi, please tell ur dr how u feel, I went through this too, u need support, there r people on here with good advice who can help u, DONT Google, I did the same and it makes u more stressed which makes u panic more, I've only had T a few weeks but in the beginning I felt like u, I have never been ill before and am a strong person but this nearly had me!
Thank god I got support from this forum and read some books that were suggested, also medication to calm, u WILL get through this, take all the help offered, xxxxx

 

Sorry about your suffering, @Kay86. You are going through a lot right now and T just came at the wrong time. The worst suffering is at the start. We have been there where you are now and we understand. You are never alone here. Right now your body is resisting this alien sensation. Failing to get rid of that, it perceives it as a mortal threat erroneously. T is annoying, irritating, and alien, but it is not an end game. It is livable and can be habituated over time with some good strategies. The success stories forum is full of such stories. People suffered like you and me big time initially, but gradually recover and live a normal life over time. Read up the stories to learn their secret and strategies. But I can tell you one thing, the common secret is good old mother TIME. Everybody needs some time to get better.

T is not something you can rush or will it to go away. Don't fall into the trap of T and don't believe in the lies of this T bully. I fell for the lie a few years back and suffered big time. Now all I can say is that I wasted a lot of mental suffering had I known that I would be living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life despite my ultra high pitch dog whistle T and severe H. My T is so loud and piercingly high pitch that it cuts through almost all sounds, including the jet noise in my last few flights. I can even hear it above the raging rapids in the salmon river I fish. It packs with so much condensed energy, like a laser in a night sky, like a dentist drill with 10 times the pitch.

I never thought I could stand this sound for long nor ever habituate to it. But never say never. I am living a normal and happy life again. But it takes time and strategy. I list many important points which have helped me. If you have time, read it up. Have patience and wait out the storm. Your good life can be back and you will enjoy your angelic daughter soon. Believe it. Take care of yourself. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

You all are so so so kind and thank you for taking the time to reply...ive been to the out of hours gp but it was a nurse practioner and she prescribed me prochlorperazine?? Im in UK by the way. But im a bit weary of taking all these meds as im already on beta blockers for my high bp... :-( I dont know what to do..it mentions talk to ur gp if you have thyroid or heart conditions before taking it....but how would i know? I dont even know whats going on with my body right now so im scared to take it. I feel that oaniced about all this im not eating and drinking.. its stupid. I cant snap out of it...i have family near by and like i say my partner is doing what he can but hes getting shattered. :'( Im typing this now with my beautiful daughter just 5 weeks old laying next to me and my poor depressed dog just looking at me...my poor partners in bed coz hes been up all night. And all for what? "Ringing in my head/ears?"...Im losing my mind and i dont know what to do....even driving in my car im having thoughts of "whats the easiest way to kill myself....." and have to stop myself coz of my daughter....but i cant cope... i really cant. I feel so alone... im riddled with panic....constantly....id rather be deaf :'( I used to love my silence and quiet times and ive been robbed of that now :'( God....please help me :'(

 

Hi kay86,
Aww duck , don't be to hard on yourself and everything you are feeling is a normal response to tinnitus and I assure you that your not going nuts.
Your hormones will be all over the place and a little baby too is hard and lack of sleep.

The Proclorperazine will help with anxiety and help you relax and help your ears a little also.
I take it and get on ok with it.
Talking therapy will help you and if you have low mood and need to start medication for it then a slow release one will be better with less side effects.

Try to relax when you can and play some soft relaxing music for you and your little one having some cuddles too together.

We will be hear to support you always and someone is sure to be around anytime day or night.

The unwanted emotions with tinnitus are hard at first but will get easier I promise you over time.

I have to go out now but will keep an eye on your posts and help support you too..lots of love glynis xxx

 

Kay, spinal anaesthetics can affect your ears but it should be temporary. It may be down to the spinal. Try not to panic. It may well settle down.

 

You are all so sweet to reply and having the patience to bother with me :'( thats another thing....i think its taking a real strain on my boyfriend as hes having to walk the dog...deal with our daughter and put up with me. Like today ALL i have done is try to cope and sulked around the house allday just hearing it...crying off and on and sleeping ...im trying to sleep as much as possible so i dont hear it and think about it and google things :'(
Glynis....did taking prochlorperazine reduce the hissing and do you have to keep taking it? Im already taking betablockers for high bp 'Labetalol' so im scared incase it interferes with that or causes more problems :'(
Also,will this hissing turn into a ring or am i just going to have this? I apose nobody knows :'( Im so so so scared!!!! My poor daughter! :'( 5 weeks old and i can even do anything with her because im turning mental....i do honestly feel like im going crazy...my partner is even telling me to go to bed so i dont do his head in about it and so i stop worrying. Im petrified i wont be the same again.
Karen-Do u think it was the beta blockers what caused your T? Because im debating whether to call gp and ask if i can stop them as im so scared of it getting worse.
Im sposed to be asleep now as partner wanted me to....butive just been lauing here and my heart is thrashing it and i can feel its panic....proper panic. Im not eating drinking or anything...im so thin now...its unrreal. I feel like its gettin high pitched aswell...
Im not ready to leave this world yet and ive just had a baby girl...
But i know 100% I wont live with this if this is permenant...im not strong enough...it will kill me :'(

 

Hi Kay,
Proclaperizine helped my fuzzy heads and relaxed me and this helps cope better with your sound.

Make sure your midwife and doctor know how you are feeling but you will get over this and be your happy self again with your baby and partner.
Blood pressure can cause tinnitus and stress and anxiety so it's so important to relax as much as you can and stay calm.

Reduce salt intake and please try eat and drink something even build up drinks to give you strength.
Keep posting duck as we are all here for you....lots of love glynis

 

Prochlorperazine is for your anxiety; take it! The only interaction between Procholorperazine and Labetalol is that it can have an additional effect on lowering your blood pressure, which is perhaps why it was perscribed by your Nurse Practitioner, which is a legitimate title; NPs are often better than GP/MDs in my opinion. If you experience life-threatening side effects, such as an unsafe drop in blood pressure you can visit the emergency room; but right now assessing your acute anxiety is top priority. Your anxiety is making you afraid to take the drug, but you should take it.
http://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1420-0,1946-0

 

Ive tried to eat and drink a little...its such a hissing noise...how are we sposed to live with this though? ..... And why arent my doctors listening to me? I have high bp still and they usually say pre eclampsia ends once delivery of the baby and it didnt....i was up and down hospital like a yo yo...it could be the epidural maybe? High bp? All this trauma? But would it just suddenly happen after 5 weeks? Thats what i dont understand....or maybe i had it when i left hospital but didnt realise? But it was never this loud and i never noticed it this much....
Its honestly driving me crazy and its adding to my anxiety that even some people on here dont wanna live anymore because of it ...this gives me no hope that it will ease or go....
Its making me wonder how i could possibly end it all....it sounds terrible and id never talk like this before...
Maybe i should try not taking my beta blockers tonight and just monitor my bp myself? Im so scared....ppl have this for years....ill never last that long.
I dont wanna resent my daughter but me and my partner spoke about children...and really kinda wondered....but she was planned and we went thru with it and i cant help but wonder was it all worth this.....i keep crying....and theres nothing anyone can do :'(

 

Hi @Kay86
I am relatively new to T, so can't advise you too much, but know exactly how you feel. There are many wise experienced people on here who definitely will support you through this journey. Their advice has helped me lots. In the meantime check out the success stories, they certainly show how there's light at the end of the tunnel although it takes time, also try https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172
Regards Phil

 

Hope is something you should use on a long term bases,and we all know what you're going trough right now.
Try to keep yourself occupied,i can't add anything more besides above mentioned by others.
You're in good hands over here,people that have been enduring this condition for decades.

 

Hi kay86,
Tinnitus is tough going at first and you have just had a baby and BP also and anxiety and never wonder why you have got tinnitus.

You are stronger than you think and push hard to stay happy and don't let tinnitus rob you of your first few weeks with your little baby.
Try sound therapy at night to help you sleep but know it's hard with a little one waking for feeds.
It would be really good if your partner came on here and read your posts to help him understand your not going mad but going through a tough condition with your ears that is a tough battle for most people with early onset tinnitus.
Sending you lots of love and hugs and we are here or you and your partner.....lots of love glynis

 

You really are a lovely bunch of people truly....
My partner wouldnt understand...hes a bit of a "get on with it" kinda guy...i asked him what he would do and he just said keep busy and listen to music....
But i LOVED my quiet times....
And whats scaring me even more is that somebody said ppl on here have dealt with it for decades....if i have to have this for decades i will kill mysellf.... and i know that sounds horrible and ridiculous but unless i can be made deaf....so i cant hear anything...i dont wanna live like this...
I know stress doesnt help but i cant help but cry and dont know what to do with myself....i cant relax with this....i just cant :'( Is there any hope? All ive read is that there is no cure and people are basically told to live with it.... i wont be able to....and im not that strong.... im really not. Im scared....
I only sleep coz im exhausted from my daughter...and when i wake up for that split second (when i forget and cant hear) im happy....so if im only happy for a split second everyday for decades...thats no life... :'( We wouldnt let an animal suffer like that and i dont want to...
My poor poor daughter shes now gonna grow up with either a shit unhappy mother...or no mother...
Im so lost right now.... and nobody can help me....and you guys have been so nice to me...
Has anybody or anyone know of anyone thats had this from an epidural or high bp medication... im petrified

 

@Kay86

Kay, tinnitus will not kill you. It will not drive you insane. You are just in panic mode right now. Nearly all of us have been through it. It feels horrific and you can't help fearing that it will never end. But end it usually does. Your body simply can't maintain this level of panic forever. Keep that in mind.

So take your prescribed anxiety medication. You're at rock bottom and need help in crawling out of the hole. And demand to get an appointment with a local mental health specialist. Demand to get in right away. Don't take no for an answer. You're in a very bad place and need the help. If you can't get in to see a mental health expert then go to the hospital and get admitted so you can get some kind of relief. Tell them exactly how you are feeling. Again, you are in a very bad place and you need help coping with it.

Lastly, life can, and almost always does, get better over time. You have the possibility of a really beautiful life ahead of you. It's hard to believe that right now I know, but if you can try to hold onto this thought. It will help you get through this dark time.

 

Kay, I know how you feel ... but you got to listen to me now.. worse than the sound is what our mind is saying about it! ... the sound is one thing, and I do feel like you it inhibits certain positive and peaceful emotions too .... I know it does ........... but worse than this is your mind trying to make a big story and dreadful future out of this ... and this will result in the opposite feelings ... like you probably are experiencing now ... don`t worry, chin up! cry when you need to but don`t touch the future with your mind ...... it will never turn out like you imagin .... make the very best out of this moments now ... that is the best way to succeed without the least suffering....

And you know what i`m even trying to do now, to face my enemy ... sometimes I just go sit in a quit room and listen to my bloody T ... and just let it be there without believing any thoughts or emotions coming ..... it can be quit a challenging moment but like this you will not be brought down by it ...

stay strong! there is too much beauty around to feel bad all the time ... choose some moments to let it all go but choose to be stronger than this most of the time. actually, the strong you is just like you are right now, when you don`t touch your minds story ... sitting quietly not being despaired, letting all feelings come and go - that is strenght!

Imagin yesterday ... if you had any hard moments - did they help to make the sound go away? So in the aftermath of that could you have done without the despair? ... so this is how you should approach this moment ... forget what has passed ... don`t care about what comes.

you can do it

 

Kay,
You can ring MIND and get ten free 50 minutes counselling sessions and help with anxiety and depression.......Keep posting for support and we are here to help and support you through this tough patch and w oily th help you will come through it......lots of love glynis x

 

Do not stop taking your blood pressure meds. Your blood pressure going up could make the tinnitus worse. Take the anxiety med; lowering your anxiety can lower the tinnitus level. In time, you can have some other doctor switch you to another blood pressure-med; if you are experiencing bad side-effects, pretty much all good doctors will switch you to a different drug unless there is a very good reason(which you should ask for); just be persistent, clear, and calm as to why you want to switch. Just so you know, postpartum preeclampsia is a classified phenomenon. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-preeclampsia/basics/definition/CON-20035395

 

I agree with @AnxiousJon . Continue with your blood pressure meds and take the anxiety meds you were prescribed. Get help from a psychologist too. It is too early to know if your tinnitus is permanent or temporary. You have so many other things going on with your health right now which may be impacting your T.
Keep posting . There are many people here to listen. We understand how afraid you are right now because we have been there. We care about you and your little girl and we are here for you.

 

@Kay86

I'm not among the most experienced around here, but this is what I'd do:

Ask yourself if you can survive one more day in your present state.

Just survive. It's fine to feel horrible and not being the best of mothers/partners/whatever. If you can do that, then you have a starting point to hang on to.

My T fluctuates, and it gets worse when I don't sleep or is stressed out. If you in your present state suffer from a hiss, chances are it will be fairly endurable if you get the space to calm down.

There's no doctor or solution on the Internet that can make your T go away. No need to search around like crazy. The best advice available will probably be found here on TT. While the community can't work miracles, it does a decent job at helping people get by.

 

Other posters have given excellent advise. Remember that most of us had the same feeling you are having, that is, we were scared to death about the future with T ringing so loud. The traumatic mind just couldn't handle the reality. It is being controlled by the limbic nervous system and you function in 'fight or flight' mode. Everything and every bad sensation seems much worse under this condition.

My work colleague told me that his wife had bad T over 20 years ago, and they had young kids. She suffered badly initially and had to be in ER for a few times. But eventually she learned to use masking sounds to help reduce her anxiety. She has music all over the house and with that she manages to raise all her kids to adults. So while the sufferings were bad initially, over time things do get better. Just hang in there.

Most members here have been where you are. You are not alone. We understand your feeling there. I have suffered from anxiety and panic disorders for decades prior to T & H. So when T & H first hit me, my anxiety just went through the roof and panic attacks greeted me every time when waking up with loud, screaming T. No amount of will power could stop the panic attacks and I had to use meds to survive each day. So yes, I understand how tough it is. Saying that, try not to buy in what the anxious mind is suggesting to you at this tough stage of T suffering. Don't project the doom and gloom of a future based on the worst time of T suffering. These are cognitive distortions as they say in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I made that mistake myself believing in these distorted thoughts and paid dearly with immense mental sufferings.

The truth of the matter is that the future is never as projected. The writers of those success stories are examples of this. Like them, I am now living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. All the mental sufferings about the future didn’t change a thing but prolong the suffering. If I have any comforting words for you, it is that people do survive T & H, anxiety and panic attacks and all, and write their success stories after some time. Just read up as many success stories to learn insights how to win over T. You need to give yourself time and learn some strategies to guide your T journey. Explore the success stories to give yourself hope for the future. That was what I did, reading as many stories as I could to give myself hope. You can get better and do believe that. If you haven’t yet, get masking going asap to help reduce the anxiety of T. Once the brain feel that you have some sense of control over T, it will be less anxious and stressed, and that will help calm the ringing for most people. Take care & God bless

 

Its getting to the point where i really cant cope...ive had zero sleep...my partner is starting to get mad with me because he doesnt understand how "ringing in your ears!" Is stopping me from looking after my daughter....
I cant even cry anymore....ive got nothing left...
I went to the doctors and they prescribed and antidepressent and a leaflet on tinnitus....i know they think its just coz im anxious and its not....im anxious because of it!! And its stopping me doing anything....i wont even eat...
Ive tried phoning a national tinnitus support line who said i should get a referal to ENT so i tried ringing doctors to do so.... i tried ringing the health visitor so i can explain whats goin on and how im feeling...
I keep wanting to google easy ways to kill urself but i have to stop myself...
My daughter needs a happy mum and i cant be that now...or ever if this is what i have to live with.... unless they can induce deafness? Can they? Id happily have that! Because i could rest and be at peace....i cant live with this....at all..... i just cant do it...

 

P.s health visitor was unavailable...and when i ask my bf to help me he just shouts at me now "what am i sposed to do...." im so lost and im never gonna survive this