It’s a Roller Coaster Ride I Want to Get Off of (a Tinnitus Story)

Hello everyone

Sorry I know this is long but I am just hoping to get peoples experience with their tinnitus

I am not sure if anyone experienced what I have with tinnitus in the last 3.5 years now but I have to say it has been an interesting one

Tinnitus for me has been at its worst and at its best .. by best I mean I thought I will never have the sucker back in my life .. but what does it do ? It surprises me every time and shows itself in different way and different tones. I have experienced every sound possible ..

I have had weeks or even months that I thought omg I am okay it’s low I don’t care about it I am going to be okay
But some weeks and months I feel like I am going to lose it

Tinnitus started w my left ear it was just a small hiss until it grow louder and louder and manifested itself in different range of tones and with different levels of loudness. In the beginning it was terrible .... until I found this site ... it helped me a lot to know I am not alone and “habituation” will help me out eventually ... as tinnitus got better I got a new hope and I was happy but it always tended to come back spcecially when I developed insomnia .. good one ....new sounds added to my right but I have to say I didn’t take care of my ears I didn’t wear ear plus and did go to loud places ... I also thought it might be due to grinding my teeth at nights and got a mouth gaurd but I didn’t stick by it and I would wear it on and off. I was always on and off with everything cuz tinnitus would be so different every day It would be quiet some time and raging other times. But I would always pass the crazy months long spikes and be “okay”. Last October I developed a funny sound in my head. I couldn’t pin point what it sounds like but after it being loud and quiet over the last 9 months It was hard to explain the sound it sounded like strong wind going through a tunnel ... So anyways I habituated to that one .... meanwhile my left ear being so quiet and ahhhhhh so nice ... even my right ear .....
until a couple go weeks ago I got a cold!!! YAAAAYYYY

I clearly Remember sleeping on the couch and all of a sudden my left ear went a little quiet and a fuzzy sound came on and I am not gonna lie I experienced this multiple times it SUCKKKKKSSSS. it’s fleeting tinnitus but it lasts at least a couple of hours to the whole night. So I thought NBD I got this. The fuzzy sound was annoying but all of a sudden it turned into a loud tone RING! it freaked me out as it lasted the whole night. I Woke up and the ring was gone. I was so terrified but glad it was gone. Sure enough tinnitus on left ear came back it sounds like gas coming out of a propane tank and it sounds mixed with static on a TV ..... oh gooooodieeeee ... but you know I have EXPERINCED this before It would come and go through out the day and eventually disappeared on its own so I thought OH WELLLL IT WILL GO AWAY ON ITS OWN.

But no it stayed. And it makes the other eat react as well. I have the whole wind / hammering sound this In my head. And I have had this issue for the last two weeks on and off

Sometimes the sounds in my ear go into the back of my head and it HURTSSSSSSSS
UGHHHHHHHH and last night I went to the club and didn’t wear ear protection. I have a complicated case cuz this shit is alllll over the place.

I am so scared all this is permanent and I have messed up not protecting myself constantly all these years...... I am so tired of this disease. NO ONE CAN SEE IT AND NOONE KNOWS IT FEELS LIKE BEING TORMENTED BY IT WHEN ITS THERE

however I am lucky to have it gone for a while but it comes back I feel like it’s there to stay

Sorry for the rant

Thank you for reading

God bless

 

I am sorry to see your story.
Based on your symptoms, it may be fluctuating tinnitus.

 

I like your writing style. You have a sense of humor despite the all-too-real situations we face with tinnitus. I hope things improve but in the meantime please feel free to continue with your rants.
Mike

 

Thank you everyone for your response

Couple of days ago it was so bad as if I have TV static in the back /upper part of my head

That is unbearable

Went to sleep woke up today
Tinnitus is present in both of my ears but the head TV STATIC is gone. THANK GOD.
I just pray and hope that I get tinnitus that I can handle. I don’t even want to be tinnitus free as long as I am getting some time without it I’ll fight enough the back but I can’t imagine how some people live with it constantly day and night at one tone. Never changing. For now I’ll take the change up.

Thank you
God bless