It's Been a While Tinnitus Talk :)

It's been a while since I've been back here and I just wanted to post a little something for everyone out there who might feel like they're losing all hope

I have something I want to say... Don't. Keep hold of that faith that you'll be okay, your tinnitus may not go away or be cured but believe me you'll get better from where you are now. I've been a member here for 3-4 years now I think? I remember those days when I would literally post something everyday here regarding my tinnitus, wanting comfort from everyone else who happens to know exactly what I'm going through.

And believe me I got that comfort from them I've made a lot of friends here who really helped me pull through when I was at my lowest because of my tinnitus. Those people will always be part of my life now. They've been my anchor through those dark times and I will always be grateful for all them. I wish I remember all your usernames so I could tag you guys. So please if you see this post and happen to remember me please do message me or reply here I would love to talk to you guys again.

I was at my 2nd or 3rd year of culinary school when my tinnitus started. It was one of those random ones that just woke me up in the middle of the night, it was so loud like rushing bubbles or hundreds of crickets inside my head. It stayed like that for a few days, till it would lessen but not so much to the point of being able to ignore it at that time. Because come on, all of us here know it's not easy to ignore a noise only you can hear inside your head haha.... It was tough, very tough for me especially since I was studying for a dream job I always wanted since I was a little girl. I was lost, confused, depressed, like all hope was gone to the point of yes...

I almost wanted to end it all. But thank god I didn't or that would have been the worst mistake I could ever do to myself or my family.

But yeah long story short I pulled through you guys Yes I still have tinnitus till today since 2013, some days it's so loud I can hear it despite the noise in my workplace, and sometimes it's calm that a single fan could mask it, but yeah.. It's definitely still there. It went away for a few weeks back in 2016 but came back again. But meh you know? Hahaha. I'm now working at a hotel here in Manila, Philippines and I'm doing great! I can't believe I'm here now, everytime I look back at that time I joined Tinnitus Talk while I was studying when I was soooo ready to drop everything and just give up, I couldn't even imagine that I'd make it here somehow...

But hey I did, I know you can too. I know and believe you can. I know exactly what you're going through believe me, no one understood what I was going through, no one even believed me at first...

But everyone I met here? They believed me, they cheered me on and comforted me in ways no one in my life could since none of them understand. I found friends here I never knew I needed So to everyone I knew back then here in Tinnitus Talk I hope you're all still here and reading this.

Thank you for what you all did for me. For being my light during those dark times, being my guardian angel who helped me pull through. I made it here today and part of that will always be because of you guys and I will always owe you all so much. So if ever you guys decide to visit the Philippines hit me up i gotcha guys hahaha.


Xoxo Anne

 

What caused your tinnitus?

 

I never actually found out despite my attempts. Doctors saw nothing and found everything normal, i had my ears flushed and more but no luck. I'm also not into loud music for that irritated me so much back then, I don't go clubbing or concerts and all that much. So I scratched off "noise induced" as a reason. I also wasn't on any medication when it happened. I just woke up one night at 2am and found noise inside my head. Till today I don't know how and why, and to be honest I just stopped looking for answers

 

Welcome back Anne and thank you for the positive update and the encouragement given to those who are struggling. I often love and so miss your vibrant, spirited posts here despite your initial suffering. We all know those nightmarish days when our whole world seemed to cave in with no light in sight at the darkest tunnel of our lives. Yes, it is important to give ourselves and our body the time it needs to get better. I am so happy to hear about your recovery and your career success even though your tinnitus stays on, just like mine does. Like you I was contemplating the possibility of shortening the suffering due to extremely depressed state of the mind but luckily we didn't proceed.

Like you also my T started one night blasting so loud waking me up with so much fear and uncertainty, and like you I didn't do clubbing nor take any ototoxic medicine prior to the T day. And like you I was so much in a mess initially that I could hardly function. No one is a super human to be able to handle such a sudden arrival of something so alien and seemingly so threatening. When the ENT declared no cure and better live with it for life, the mind just couldn't handle the trauma of such bad news. It was nothing but hell initially. I had to used drugs to cope, benzos, ADs, sleeping pills and what have you.

Yes, luckily, like many others, we didn't do the unthinkable and we are here today still, enjoying life and moving on despite still having the loud T. Thank God we keep our sanity and now, even with loud T days and spikes, we can still function and live a productive life. The success stories are loaded with people like us with similar success stories. Thank you again for returning to post and to update us with your positive news. Wishing you all the best, Anne. God bless.