Living in the Twilight Zone

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Grrr!, Sep 30, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Grrr!
      Gloomy

      Grrr! Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012?
      You remember that episode of The Twilight Zone where the librarian lived to read books and then he found himself the last man on earth with a library of books and he accidentally breaks his glasses? That's me.

      Time Enough at Last


      I love peace and quite. I take vacations where it's silent except for nature. Now, I will never be able to enjoy that again.

      I haven't been diagnosed with tinnitus (T) but I have a doctor's appointment today which I suspect will just lead to a referral to an audiologist.

      But I'm sure I have it.

      I used to believe that T was a high pitch sound or something that rock and roll bands or soldiers got from explosions or loud noises. That's not what I have. I have a low frequency rumble ALL THE TIME.

      Frankly, I've had this for years (I guess) but I always thought it was the bulldozers and machines in the area. Believe it of not, I could live with that.

      But a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Vegas and heard it. "Why the hell do I hear those trucks all the way up here on the 11th floor?" Hmmm.

      But it didn't sink in.

      Then a week ago I realized it was ME.

      Now it's in my head. Literally. I hear it all the time because I know it's me and not the trucks.

      Last night I got about three hours sleep... and NOT in a row. Twenty minutes here, twenty minutes there...

      Grrr!

      I can't imagine going through life like this. It's louder than most things around me.

      For the most part, it gets masked if I go on walks through the city or if I have a big fan blowing on me (the wind must mask it) but it's getting a little cool for that.

      And it's been getting worse. A few weeks ago (when I still thought it was trucks) I awoke and thought, "Damn those guys are really busy tonight!"

      Sigh.

      BTW, earlier this year I was tested and the same ear has 25% hearing loss. I think it's more now. If I use an iPhone to play music I have to adjust the slider so it's 50% to the right to sound like it's in the middle.

      If there is any saving grace that I have to wrap my head around it's that I was "dealing" with it when I thought it was trucks. I just need to get back to that state of mind.

      I have to.
       
    2. daedalus

      daedalus Member

      Location:
      Brussels
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2007
      I used that same expressions "to be in the twilight zone". If you are wondering if you have tinnitus you are one of the lucky ones who have a mild case. Good.

      I like calm and quiet. I hate "meaningless and vulgar noises". My tinnitus was that bad that i was unable to finish one page of a comic book. Couldn't concentrate.

      Now, i can enjoy calm. Despite the tinnitus. I used to want a surrounding sound ambiance to soothe me. Not anymore. In fact when i want to read or study in peace i put noise canceling headphones so as not the hear the neighbours or my computer.

      Of course when i do that i hear my t screaming but it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

      My post is good news for you: if after a while i went from "very bothered by t and cannot enjoy calm" to "not bothered by t and enjoy so much calm that i read with noise canceling headphones" so can you ! Give it (lots of) time.
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    3. Grrr!
      Gloomy

      Grrr! Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012?
      MILD? Today is the loudest it's ever been. Or loudest it's ever been since I realized it's me and not the environment.
       
    4. Albert Savage

      Albert Savage Member

      Location:
      Nevada
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1972
      I'm one of those who's tinnitus was from those bangs and booms from being in the service. And I've had for over 40 years. I also have hearing loss. My tinnitus improved significantly once I started to use hearing aids about 10 years ago. So there is hope. Good luck.
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1

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