Marriage!

Discussion in 'Support' started by Tennrltr, Jul 30, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Tennrltr
      Depressed

      Tennrltr Member

      Location:
      Tennessee
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Fall in 2014
      Do you think it is fair to your partner to get married ? I have the tinnitus not her. Anyone here get married after they contacted tinnitus and it work out. If so, what problems did you have ? God Bless
       
    2. Mark Beehre
      Facebooking

      Mark Beehre Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Wellington, New Zealand
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2008 // 11/2014
      I know this question well. I got my tinnitus spike in October last year and still haven't recovered. But I still proposed to my girlfriend in June and we are set to get married in February.

      I tried to push her away and suggest she was better off without me. She wasn't happy about that at all and told me she loves me regardless of my tinnitus and no matter how good or bad the day I am having. To be honest she has been nothing short of amazing in my tinnitus journey. Always willing to listen, encourage me, tell me I will get better and pray for me. If anything it has made me love her more.

      I may not be able to do what everyone else does now, but maybe, hopefully, someday in the future I can. Maybe a cure will be discovered in the next 15 years, who knows!

      If you love her and she loves you, don't let your tinnitus mess it up. It's going to be with you if you get married or if you choose to stay single. You will just have more fun in marriage and more distractions.
       
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      • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
    3. Tennrltr
      Depressed

      Tennrltr Member

      Location:
      Tennessee
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Fall in 2014
      Sounds great, see you are going thru with yours. Been a concern for me since it does limit you. Best of best on your marriage. God Bless...:thankyousign:
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. Tamika
      No Mood

      Tamika Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      One loud indoor concert
      I think it depends on the person and how they cope with their T. My husband had T for many years before we married and I never knew about it. It does not change how he lives his life and he never talks about it. I've just acquired T after a concert and I'm a mess and worry how my stress may affect my marriage in the long term if I don't cope better.
       
    5. Thongjy
      Balanced

      Thongjy Member

      Location:
      Singapore
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unsure
      I do not understand how having T can affect marriage. You just need to tell your partner no loud sounds that is all.
       
    6. Sound Wave
      Curious

      Sound Wave Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably headphones
      If you partner loves you, he/she won't care if you have T or not. Simple as that.
       
    7. undecided
      Fine

      undecided Member

      Location:
      Greece
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown.
      I proposed before getting tinnitus, got married while having tinnitus.
      My wife sometimes complains that we don't go out as much as we did before but she's starting to accept it and life just goes on. If there's love there's always a solution.
       
    8. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Calgary
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Are you serious?
       
    9. preslys

      preslys Member

      Location:
      Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      I canceled my marriage because of my tinnitus
      I had no desire to talk with another person . I told her go to look for another person healthy
       
    10. Richard zurowski

      Richard zurowski Member Benefactor

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      27/12/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection.
      What? Just because you have tinnitus you canceld your marriage.and your not healthy because you have tinnitus . That's just ridiculous!
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    11. preslys

      preslys Member

      Location:
      Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      My Tinnitus started one week only before my mariage and it was very louder (10/10) I canceled my mariage, fortunatly she understood my pain now she is married with another person. it is the truth, I wanted that she will live with person who can make she happy.because I love she.let me deal with my tinnitus alone.
      Now I am looking to be married because my tinnitus is low thanks to trobalt.
       
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    12. dboy
      Jaded

      dboy Member Benefactor

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2007 & 8/2013
      That is a very selfless act and attitude. I'm surprised your ex moved on so quickly... I'd say she missed out on someone who genuinely put her happiness first, which is quite a rare thing to find.

      T can have a big impact on how we are able to live, and I would say mine has changed who I am to an enormous extent. It can take time to work through that stuff enough to be ready for the huge commitment and responsibility marriage entail. That is a personal thing and probably depends to some extent on how bad the t is. But I certainly don't think it is ridiculous to ever choose not to get married if you have doubts it is in the best interests of either of the people whose future lives it determines.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    13. awbw8
      Balanced

      awbw8 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2013
      I know we're an international community here, so I'm not sure if everyone's ideas of marriage and vows are how I think of them, but around these parts we say, "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health."

      I'm not sure that everyone who enters a marriage is prepared to live those vows, but I know people who have, and they come through the other end. I know people (my own parents) who made those vows and were not able to live them. I do not think one way is worse, I just think that marriage will always have problems, if it's not T, it could/will be something else. Depression, loss, trauma, accidents, illness - all of these things are likely to come up in the course of a life-time. If someone knows about your T and is committed to a life with you, then you have to let them make that decision and work to meet them halfway and take care of them as you do yourself and to be open. Perhaps you are suffering now, but they may suffer later and you will have to exercise patience and care for them as they work through that trouble. You're never going to get into a committed life-long relationship that doesn't include hard times (or horribly hard) times.

      That is how I look at it, not claiming this is "the" answer or even completely right, just my thoughts of the moment.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    14. marqualler
      Nerdy

      marqualler Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Minneapolis, MN
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection / Mild Noise Induced Hearing Loss
      For me, tinnitus caused some stress in my marriage for a while, but as I started feeling better and started habituating, that stress subsided. But I totally agree with @awbw8 that there will always be stressors in a marriage--just the same way that there are bound to be obstacles throughout life. My wife is currently pregnant and dealing with gestational diabetes and vertigo, which she had never had before. I think I have more empathy for her with her vertigo having known what inner ear conditions can do to a person, and as a result has brought us closer together.

      Tinnitus is an awful condition, but for most people becomes manageable after a certain point, so there should be no reason to consider cancelling marriage plans or thinking you cannot get married in the future.
       
    15. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      East Coast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1998
      every marriage that doesn't end in divorce, ends in death and serious illness. So, that should be food for thought.

      Everyone's body is going to eventually fall apart and play nasty tricks on them. Part of marriage vows is an acceptance of this and a willingness to stand by someone as you both inevitably lose the battle with time.

      I started my relationship with my wife 10 years into my T, and got married a year after my significant increase.
       
    16. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK, Fareham
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      You have Tinnitus! you're not dying. I proposed before tinnitus. Due to get married in Septemer. I was so desperate when i got tinnitus. But never did i doubt i should marry. Tinnitus sucks. But it will get better. And more importantly, life goes on.
       
    17. Mad maggot
      Breezy

      Mad maggot Member

      Location:
      New zealand
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      If the person you are marrying knows you have T and knows how it is affecting you and how it may impact on your life together then why not let them decide? If they want to marry you despite it all and you both love each other...
       

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