I would like to share with you a little finding of mine, which I consider very positive and like to think of when things feel really bad. Just after I realized I had T, my life broke into two parts: the blessed times before it, and the hell after it. Sometimes I would remember something nice, but immediately the thought would pop-up: "Hey buddy! This nice thing happened to you before your wreck, but now it's just pain and suffering for you. Cheers!" It's like having a tagged photo collection. Everything 'before' was tagged with happiness, everything 'after'... well, I didn't have that many memories immediately after the onset. Since that times I had an opportunity to go and spend a vacation in NYC with my wife. I was terribly afraid my new T would spoil the experience for both of us, but it turned out to be great, even though I kept thinking about my T a lot, and obviously kept hearing it. Now, when I'm back home, and sometimes an episode from this trip comes to mind, I catch myself thinking: "Well... It felt so great, true, but that was without that noise in your ears, now get back to suffering." "Waaaaait a minute! It was AFTER I got my T". But the memory is 'tagged' as the one from the happy times. I don't know what exactly that is supposed to mean. Probably, that there is life after T and it can be quite an enjoyable one!