My Friends Are Worried About Me and Have Invited Me to a Pub, Should I Go?

I've been really down lately and my friends can tell, they've asked me to go for a few drinks with them to the local weatherspoons. It's a Saturday night, it will be very very busy. I'll take my decibel meter with me and have 3M 27 dB foam plugs in at all time. I expect the noise to be 85-95 dB is this too loud?

At what point should I leave the pub? Should I even bother going?? I don't want to sit in by myself I need to socialise. There is an outside bit but although they are my friends I can expect 15-20 people to sit outside the back with me, some will want to but other who are friends of friends probably won't want to.

The pub doesn't play noisy music, but I anticipate it will be extremely extremely busy.

 

If you go make sure you put in your foam plugs. I think it will be ok as long as the music isn't too loud. You will probably get a spike for a few days after you go, even with the plugs in. use good judgment and you should be OK

P.S. if it were me I would not go. I would stay away from loud places for a minimum of 6 -9 months, but I would rather give my T every opportunity to heal and not aggravate it.

 

It seems to me that there is a high chance that you are going to regret going.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...ite-wearing-properly-inserted-earplugs.20675/

 

Why don't you ask them to come over to your home or go to someone else's home?

 

I would go. Although you have to make some lifestyle changes for sure, you can't live your life as a hermit. With the right protection your ears will be fine.

I actually feel that in these instances, not going can do more damage to your state of mind than experiencing an expected (but temporary) spike.

 

I have never had a problem in pubs, you seem to be in a negative thinking pattern where you think you are always going to worsen . I would go to the pub and take plugs with you, if you feel uncomfortable you can put them in.

 

How did it go?

 

You should go and dont listen to the people here that want to make a hermit of you.

 

Make that "a hermit who is not suffering from debilitating tinnitus".

 

As long as you have proper ear protection you will be fine..make sure to take breaks and if you notice anything that bothers you at all then leave

 

It looks like the people who described their experiences at the link below, followed your advice and lived to regret it. Does this information change the way you feel about this?
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/wearing-foam-ear-plugs-on-a-roller-coaster.22559/#post-259198

 

Is there a happy medium here??

 

He is only going to a pub, not a concert/night club, surely thats the happy medium.

 

At least one link in the set of links I posted is about someone finding out the hard way not to go to a pub. If you search this forum, there will be many more stories like that...

 

I see you are generally trying to help people but please, please don't post that compilation of horror stories in every thread. People can reach them and freak out themselves easily without a need for your warning.

And it is nothing more than a compilation of 'biased' instances where things got worse for some people. We don't hear the good ones here since it is generally a 'support' forum.

 

Quiet pubs with soft acoustics have a DB range of 65-75. Just change the venue

 

One must evaluate for themselves what they are okay and not olay to do. If one suffers from spikes then i guess its a good thing to stay away from potential hazards. However, as I am sure you are aware this is not a one size fits all condition and you must be aware of your own tolerance.

Not that i reccomend it but how do you feel about musicians with t that still perform? Some may get worse indeed but there are notable famous musicians who have had t for years and are still going. Proof that this reallt does effect people in different ways?

 

I will never get that part... I have severe hyperacusis and never used a dB meter. If you think it's too loud, just leave or grab your earplugs, it probably is ! A machine won't tell you what your limit is.

 

Unfortunately Ryan a lot of the anxiety that you are feeling is brought about by your negative thinking towards tinnitus and it is interfering with your ability to move on and get any enjoyment out of life. In my opinion it is totally unnecessary for you to be carrying a decibel meter to a pub and worse to be using "foam" earplugs which will make your brain focus on the tinnitus even more. If you are not careful (and I am being thoughtful here ) your fear and anxiety towards tinnitus is going become a really big problem. With respect you haven't listened to any of the advice that I have given you in my post: Hyperacusis, As I see it, otherwise you wouldn't be contemplating wearing foam earplugs and wanting to use a decibel meter. Therefore, for your own good, I advise you to seek the help of a Hearing Therapist whose trained in the management of tinnitus. Through talk therapy (counselling) the fear and anxiety that you have towards tinnitus and hyperacusis will gradually be dispelled and demystified. However, counselling, TRT and CBT will not be successful If you are being constantly negative and believe nothing will help you.

Sorry to sound so sobering.
I wish you well.
Michael

 

So?

Some people who jump into the water without finding out how deep the water is end up paralyzed from the neck down. It is most likely the case that the vast majority of people who make this mistake end up being ok. Using your logic one should go ahead and jump into the water head first without finding out how deep the water is.

I don't understand the point you are making. They SHOULD freak out after reading those stories. They are about to repeat the mistake made by those people. They should be aware of the possible consequences. Reading those stories will make them aware of the risks.

It is similar to T. Most people attend loud concerts and listen to loud music using their headphones, and never have any problems. Using your logic they should NOT be made aware of the nightmare that their behaviour might result in.

 

I've noticed this as well and wonder why this is. How can there be such a big range in sensitivity where some of us cannot go to a music-less bar, yet others are touring musicians. Any ideas?

 

If they are the type of people who are not bothered by permanent screaming T (people like that exist), then what they are doing is rational. Otherwise, they must be raving mad to be taking a risk like that.

Just because someone took a risk and ended up being fine does not prove that the risk is worth taking (see my example on jumping into the water of unknown depth above).

 

I suppose its just how much damage you have done and where it is done. Some people may have bent a few hairs over with little nerve damage and vice versa.

 

Yes, but people generally don't look at a bunch of photographs that belongs to parallyzed people and get stuck in that misery before they jump or they don't generally look for terrible car accident news before they go out and drive. Shit happens sometimes no matter how cautious you are and unless you dont put your head under a truck's wheel conciously, the rest is mostly luck. I've lived with the anxiety of what ifs, what if some religious maniac decides to blow himself on my way to the school like we easily experienced nearly every month in different regions of our country ? That constant state of anxiety eventually gave me the tinnitus. My ears had been compromised way before than that probably.

My point is, throwing a bunch of horror stories is a bit more than just 'warning' them. Those stories are full of anxiety, horror, doom and gloom. Most of those that horror comes from the initial panic attack and increased volume/ perception resulting from maybe another loud noise exposure but certainly anxiety. Someone can easily freak out more than he/she should by reading those and get stuck in a circle of more anxiety, fear, hypersensitivity, over analyzing and isolation. Of course, they should be warned about the possible consequences, but for an event with a high possibility of doing no harm, warning with stating the most extreme cases( even having them recorded somewhere and pulling them out everytime is quite crazy) is no different than staying at home all the time to protect myself from those explosions which literally fucked my brain chemistry probably permanently.

 

I believe it is due to not being in a constant worry and getting stuck in a fight or flight mode for years, not having a constant anxiety for what ifs. Their tinnitus gets worse eventually tho, time period depends on if/how they've been protecting their ears.


Chris Martin, for instance didn't give up on his music and carried on with proper ear protection. I've read somewhere that his T didn't get any worse since doing the earplugs he said.

Dave Grohl on the other hand, doesn't wear ear protection because he thinks it is not 'rock and roll'. He is fast on his way to total deafness and probably has debiliating tinnitus, but he couldn't care less. Although I love that guy so much, it is just a stupid idea.

 

Hi @Melike

I absolutely agree with your wise words. I do hope think it's wise to be armed with facts and how to protect your ears going forward. I was coping ok with my T at the onset but I'm pretty sure my Audiologist worsened this with how he conveyed information to me... like....
I don't think you're coping very well.
Your hearing isn't great. An ENT told me thereafter it was v good!
You have auditory damage... etc. As much as we know this, for it to be confirmed isn't helpful by 'specialists'.

To not be scared shitless at the onset of this is so important as it can leave you stuck in such a negative loop which is debilitating and frightening.

It's an absolute god send to have to support of others on this forum as I one can truly understand how very debilitating this condition is and the fears and what ifs attached to it. Not pleasant for an already anxious person to deal with xx

 

Ye but better analogy would be like: you have already driven a car and got into an accident and got a little hurt, broke a leg or something? And then you try to get into the car with the broken leg (and the car is manual)..

 

A better one : you broke that leg and trying to do some power lifting will most probably make it worse but why stop going for an harmless walk where you still have the possibility of making it worse but not very likely? Why not just modify your life and find a sweet spot? What is exactly good and beneficial about reading the worst case scenarios? Do you really think that it just does the necessary 'warning' part?

 

Hey,

My advise to you is that you need to totally change your viewpoint on this.

You cannot live your life clutching onto your decibel-meter, worried that the slightest noise is going to make your T worse. Just be sensible, and wear earplugs if you expect a very loud event, but honestly a busy pub shouldn't ever get to the stage whereby you *need* to leave for fear of damaging your ears, especially if you have plugs in.

ATB

 

A shitload of drugs and alcohol? The desire for fame and fortune overiding what little sense is there to begin with? Or maybe they wouldn't be musicians if their ears couldn't handle it. But I suspect in a lot if cases they just make it a hell if a lot worse and deal with reality later.