My Weird Experience

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Matsik, Oct 16, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Matsik

      Matsik Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Hi from a fellow tinnitus sufferer. I am 27 years old and I want to tell you my weird experience with tinnitus. I think I suffer from it since I was a child. I remember some days back in my childhood I would hear this loud buzzing noise and if I concentrated too much on it I panicked. But I thought that the noise I heard was some kind of environmental vibration that we all heard. I thought it was part of the background, so I didn't really pay much attention and I have always led a normal life with this intrusive sound. This is crazy I know but Trust me!!

      4 years ago I accidentally found out on the Internet that the sound I heard all day probably came from my head. It was the worst discovery of my life. I literally went mad and the sound that had always been with me through my life and to which I didn't pay ANY attention suddenly led me to despair. I spent some months in hell and I couldn't do anything but lie in bed and listen to this hellish sound trying to mask it with other sounds or music. It was hell on earth for me. I stopped with the university and started taking antidepressants.

      Then slowly and eventually I habituated again to the sound and started leading my normal life again. When I slept or studied I partially masked the sound with rain sounds/white noise and even if it really annoyed me I stopped being so focused on it. It was just a nuisance but I could easily distract from it. There were even weeks I forgot about having it. sometimes in a while I focused on it and felt distressed but for the most time I didn't think about it even if I kept hearing it in the background. Habituation is possible!!!

      But then again the sad part. Two weeks ago I was sleeping and tinnitus was very loud. I suddenly panicked and started thinking deeply about it again and the fact it will be there for my lifetime. Well it was the worst decision ever since I started making horrible thoughts about it and became really frightened. Since that night I haven't recovered. These two weeks were really hard for me, I feel depressed and I keep hearing this annoying sound all day. Like yesterday I was at a medical examination and I couldn't even listen to the doctor, I was just paying attention to the tinnitus all the time. I really hope I had never found out this sound was in my head. I lived for so much time with it (maybe it wasn't loud as now but I'll never know) and it didn't bother me because I thought we all heard it. Crazy isn't it? Hope to get havituated again fast. Have a good day
       
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    2. Kazue

      Kazue Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/19/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      You should stay as far away as possible from this site then. I fear this will fuel your anxiety. Just relax. It's not in your head. It's your brain trying to help you; but is actually doing more harm than good. Put some lavender oil on your pillow and a fan on low to ease your stress at bedtime. Make some hot cocoa an hour before you to bed to relax the nerves. You're just tensed up.
       
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    3. Dominic1955
      Depressed

      Dominic1955 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Waverly, Pennsylvania
      Tinnitus Since:
      4/2/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic hearing loss
      @Matsik do you have hearing loss?
       
    4. Matsik

      Matsik Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Don't think so. I haven't had hearing exams in the last years but as far as I remember I scored perfect the last time I went to the audiologist.
       
    5. MikeL1972

      MikeL1972 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      3/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uknown
      Hi Matsik,

      The key (or trick if you will) is to control your anxiety and just distance yourself from it. This means you may just totally make it null and void in your world by not thinking about it, going on sites like this, or even Googling it. Out of site, out of mind as they say!

      I am on this site myself to encourage others that they too can live normal lives and not allow this pest to hijack their lives. :)
       
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