Need Some Support, Woke Up This Morning...

Discussion in 'Support' started by RicoS, May 18, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      ....... and my worst nightmare became true. My ears feel blocked and my T is so extreme loud that I even hear it in the shower :cry:

      It is not that it is louder, but like my hearing is 50% gone or something....I also have 3 new sounds added.
      Yesterday I posted something that I thought there is a limit to habituation...I hope I did not have reached it.

      I just walk outside and could hear it clear as day....so to be honest with all of you..... I'm a little scared now.....for some reason I feel this is not a spike but something here to stay.....

      I'm realy in panicmode now.....I've been going through this 2 years back, but this level of sound is of a different order.

      I wish I had better news.....and to be honest ....I'm realy scared that I am not being able to be a good father for my 2.5 year old son and be a good husband for my wife....

      ......wow.....realy do not know what to do know.... I'm at home but I cannot even cry ....I want to but I just can't I just so worried and stressed at the moment ...anxiety is going through the roof...which of course make matters worse :bag:
       
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    2. shantelle

      shantelle Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise induced
      Im feeling the exact same way. I got some xanax to help with the anxiety and only take it when its needed. Its really helping me. Dont put yourself though the stress. I definitely feel horrible when i look at my little ones and all i can think about is the ring. Trust me get some xanax. I was told by another on here and im glad i got some. :) try to relax. Watch a good movie.
       
    3. shantelle

      shantelle Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise induced
      I looked back at some photos of my babies and decided that no matter how bad it is im going to get through this for them. Sorry your feeling down.
       
    4. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Try not assume the worst. T is a scare crow bully. The more you fear it, the more power it has. Have you seen a doctor for you blocked or full ears? There is no reason to doubt that it won't go back to normal. Don't panic and fear it as much as you can, because too much fear will set your limbic nerves taking over which will make all the T symptoms worse. This is likely a spike due to ear fullness. Once the ear fullness is back to normal, the spike can be over. So take it easy. If you are really nervous, then ask the doctor to get you some meds, or better yet try some natural alternatives such as St. John Wort, Chamomile tea etc which can calm the nerves. Try read the success stories to give you some comfort that people do get better from spikes, or habituate to their loud T over time. T is not an end game. So take it easy.
       
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    5. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Thanks.... what scares me the most is that I did not could imagine it be likes this.... It's like everything is like 2 years ago... it took me more that a year to get adjusted to it. But this new monster is another challenge....The full fealing is only in my left ear I think..... I need to get out this panic mode.... I know it does not help me... been there done that, but my body fights it no matter what :unsure:
       
    6. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      I love my son with all my hart...... I haveb had a screwed up youth and I want him to have to best life ever.... he means everything to me realy everything....and that is not even enough to let anybody understand how much I love him.

      But that is why I want to be a good dad and do not want to be busy with T all the time...
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. shantelle

      shantelle Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise induced
      Im going through it too. I have two little ones that are my life. Stress really does make it the t worse. It will settle back down. I really do recommend trying some meds for the anxiety. Anxiety usually leads to depression...well at least in my case. What do you think caused the sudden spike?
       
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    8. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      I just came out of a depression and in that period I could not care about my T I had symptoms that I thought are much worse, but that is all in perspective ofcourse, because how loud my T is now is realy frustrating. For 3 months I'm coughing a lot and have mucus (slime) in my throat. I went to the doctor for that and took some bloodsamples and nothing was wrong so he said it's just a virus and I have to sit it out.

      I think that has caused the spike.... but the virus slowly goes a way and I slowly see my T get worse.....
      Problem at the moment is also that I'm far the busy with my T. Normaly I can ignore it to some point and do what I have to do. But how it is now.... I just cannot... I cannot focus I only hear these sounds in my head.

      I only can think now how much I love my wife and child....they are everything to me. I have a whole life ahead of me and i realy scares me how life will go from now on.
      I hope it goes back to base level. Not that that is the best in the world, but at least I can mask it.

      Like is said in another post, 2 years back I did not know what T was I was the moth healthy person you could imagine. I know I must go on but this new high pitched sound is very bothersome.
       
    9. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Calgary
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Rico, most spikes calm down and go back to baseline, there are some pretty bad stories here like myself, but it's rare mate. I've been on quite a while and it seems that spikes can last months and for the most part seem to settle for the majority, I'm sure you will agree with this. Get some good sleep, sleep seems to be the only thing that helps my T settle slightly. You have lots of time to recover before this is permanant so try and relax, I would imagine this is key. Sleep, stay out of loud noise and chill buddy. Let your wife pick up the slack for a bit until you calm down, I'm sure she will understand. You aren't being a bad dad, you need to recover so you can be a good dad for many more years. Take care
       
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    10. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Thank m8 I just went outside runnig for 1.5 hour and it seems a little better now. Perhaps it is indeed the virus I have which I need to recover from. When I read what you typed I got tears in my eyes man. Nobody deserves to go through this suffering.

      I know I'm a good person....I'm always there for everybody....but since my son is born I feel things I never thought excist. I had a bad youth and my parents never told me they loved me or hughed me or what ever. I could not even hugh my girlfriend for the first 7 years longer than 10 seconds or so. It just did not feel natural. No with my son....these feelings are realy overwhelming. It is like reversed T. I feel so much love and want to hugh him and play with him as much as I can. But than there is T that kicks me in the ass everytime I want to play with him, because when he screams of joy ...I get a spike or my ears hurt.

      My problem is also I'm to obsessive with my T. I broke that circle 5 to 6 months ago and there were days i did not think about it. But with that new zap /electric random pulses (i do not know how to call it) ...it is at my attention 24/7. Now with this spike today....it is just enough.....

      And I know (hope) that it will settle down...and if not...than I have no choice but to deal with it. You know every time I go to sleep I wonder what new day will bring with my son and wife. I do not even think of me. If I can give him a good youth...than my life is complete.

      Thanks for you reply m8 I know you are struggeling too and on an other level than me so that is why I also get a little bit emotional. You still find the time and compasion to write to others.... I realy appreciate that(y)
       
    11. Xorthian
      Balanced

      Xorthian Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poland
      Tinnitus Since:
      Initial 2012. Massive spike 4/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noisey Lifestyle. Increase from infection.
      If your hearing is gone by 50% I dont see why you wouldnt go to emergency for oral corticosteroid treatment for 2 weeks. Isnt that sudden hear loss protocol?

      You should go to ENT for antibiotics if your ears are full and there is fluid in them. Waiting for it to resolve by itself in adult when you are at this stage isn't treatment of choice...


      I took antibiotics and steroids even though I had very mild if any hearing loss and infection only started - I didnt even experienced ear fullness or anything, just new T sound and ENT said that my eardrum is inflamed and there is low ammount of fluid behind ears.

      Never give up on yourself, try to fight for your health if you can.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    12. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Thanks !!! Going to do that tomorrow right away...because my ear feels full. I know it won't release me of my T but it can be the cause of the spike so it can be lower so perhaps I also have so fluid behind my ear.
       
    13. Rina
      Energetic

      Rina Member

      Location:
      florida, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/18/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Really don't know
      Hang in there! You will be fine... God may give you strength, peace and courage... T is difficult but we all will make it.. I've had it for three months now ... I've seen better days and these are becoming more... This is a mind battle and we have to fight it to win... .. I have 2 little ones as well and in trying my best to be the same person before T... Slowly but surely I have started to do things I love and getting my life back.... You will make it!
       
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    14. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Thanks.... When my T started in june 2013 I was a real mess, I slowly got over it (took be about a year and some months) Than I got some health issues that caused a depression. I slowly got out of the depression and now T is back on my mind after an added tone. With the basetone I could live ....this new random sound gets me irritated. So I try to stay busy.

      Tomorrow I go to the doctor to see if my ears full of dirt (do not know the english word for it when you have stuff in your ear :). Because an hour ago some dirt came out of my ear and the pressure went down 60% :beeranimation: ... My ear did hurt for a couply of days. So perhaps there was some infection or something. Tomorrow I go check it out.

      One thing is for sure though.... the support here gives me positive energy!!! :thankyousign:
       
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    15. sandra72

      sandra72 Member

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      may 2014
      Hang in there Rico. I know its difficult but you can do it. You helpt me a lot when i was feeling really bad and i am still thankfull for that. Maybe its a infection or a colt. Do what you love like watching a movie. Try to take your mind of it. My box is open if you whant to talk about it.
       
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    16. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Thanks Sandra.... I keep that in mind... I is a little bit better now and I will go to the doctor for sure tomorrow. It is not as loud as it was this morning so I guess there is some infection going on and I still cough a lot.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    17. JohnnyMx
      Sunshine

      JohnnyMx Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Apr/2013
      Hi bro,

      I was in your same situation. For months i got depression, not related with the loud of my T (wich i can ear over any environtment sound), but my biggest problem is that i was thinking all day long that i was not going to be able to function anymore. To rise my children, to take care of my wife... and you know what... that does not happen. If T is your only problem, then things will settle down.

      Maybe your T loudness will be the same, but you will start to get your life back.

      Yesterday, we had a great family time. We did hamburguers and played Mario Bros all of the afternoon with my 5 years old boy. My T was there with me, but I was not with it.

      If you don't get stock with bad thoughts or feelings, you will be fine.

      Hopes!
       
      • Like Like x 3
    18. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      @RicoS
      Rico, my friend. I am sorry to hear about your spike.
      You helped me in the past and believe me, things will settle down.
      I am still here because my boys and my wife need me.
      And we will go through this together.

      I also had not the best youth. My parents divorced when I was 10, one of my two sisters died with cancer age 13, my father went into jail for some years. My wife has breast cancer with 43. So I told myself again and again, my kids will have a better youth. They should at least grow up with parents at their side. At the moment I have tears in my eyes. But I will suffer, if needed endlessly for my family. And when God takes me into heaven, I know it was right.

      And you can live with T, even if loud. On better days, the shower sometimes covers my T.
      On bad days, I have 2-3 tones in my head and I can hear them easily in the shower.
      I am still here and I have the ultimate will going through this. And if needed, I take a Xanax (only one this year).

      One day, this ringing will stop or be milder.
      Or a pill will help us. And I am fighting and waiting for this day.
      Life is tough, T is tough, but we will co-exist with it.

      Stay strong my friend.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    19. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Thank you all for your kind words.... I know now what caused my spike and tomorrow I will go to the doctor.
      The spike is because of my neck... I did a massage of my neck muscle for 15 minutes and it was gone even my normal T is less at the moment. That sounds like a good thing....but it isn't just yet because after an hour or so it comes back.
      I guess there is a lot of tention in my neck because of stress and perhaps I do not sleep in a good position or it is TMJ ...I do not know. But the moment I massage my neck the high pitched zaps and T become way less.

      I know when I had a lot of backpain that their were nerves and muscles that were feeling real hard and they had to be massage loose (sorry for my bad english). This took 8 months to completly go away. I hope that will work with my neck also and it is not something that will return. But if it does and I have to massage my neck everyday...so be it.

      @Martin69 and @JohnnyMx I know it is hard but sometimes when you can take it and you think you can take it... T will slap you in the face like it has something to proof to you.
      Perhaps it also frustrates me that I always there to help somebody....ALWAYS...and T feels unfair like I do not diserve this.
      But ok it is part of life.....I know now I do not have minor T but mild to sometimes loud. Does it interfere with my life...yes it does.... A friend of mine has the same kind of T and perhaps louder and he can laugh about it.
      I just cannot anymore....and sorry if I repeat my self, but I just want to be there for my son. And it is what you said Martin69 ....You are there because your wife and kids needs you. Same for me...... but I also need me...to carry on...

      I do not want to be rich, I do not want to have to coolest car, I do not need the best clothes.... I just want to be happy.
      Happyness is inside me , I get happyness from my son and wife and they love me right back.

      I focus on that, but besides that...I'm a person who can not give up. I have to accept T but in the back of my mind I always look for a cure ...

      I cannot even cry anymore regarding my T....the hate is to great....but I do cry for the feelings I feel for my wife and son and the warm support I get from you people.

      I go to bed now and hopefully I can sleep...tomorrow the sounds will be back again I'm sure but at least I know where it comes from and can do something about it. My normal T is here to stay but if I can make it less worse I will move mountains to get it done.

      This morning my body broke down because of the spike but this evening I went to the gym at teached my MMA class new techniques. At the onset of my T I would stay at home and cry... so for me this proofs I'm no quiter....

      If T knocks me down I get back up...and it can knock me down a million times, but it will never get KO'ed or be counted out....not as long as my family is with me.

      Again thank you...I will share an update tomorrow..... :huganimation:
       
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    20. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Today is a much better day... I have an appointment on wednesday to see the doctor, but it's 100% sure that besides my regular T the problems with my neck are the cause for the other sounds I hear. At the moment they are gone again after doing a massage on my neck (y)
       
    21. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      Good Rico.
      Hopefully it goes down again.
      My T is catastrophic at the moment. No relief.
      Nevertheless I will also go to my football team doing training today.
      But on the long run I need a treatment for milder T.
      I doubt I can live with this for a long time.
      Maybe I should go the Trobalt route. I don't know.
      Take care.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    22. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Well @Martin69 for me it is so random at the moment..... one minute it is loud , the other minute mild than low, than loud again....I'm getting so tired of it. It's like a jack in a box that keeps coming out
      I always think ... I can last this day so I can take on tomorrow. But sometimes you energytank is just empty and you need to refill.

      And again my normal T I can handle... I can even sleep with it, but does high pitched zaps that occur randomly making me so tired and stressed.

      Today was a rather good day and now it is coming back again so I will try to massage my neck again.

      I know you have it hard now also, but like you said before you must be there for your family. If Trobal is an option why not give it a try. It crossed my mind also, but I would be very devistated if I'm out of it and it comes back again.
      Than the whole proces starts over again.

      It's good that you go out and train your football team because you need to stay busy....
      Don't give up hope my friend.....hope is free and it can give you energy. I know that in our lifetime there will not be a cure but I'm sure that there will come something that will lower it or supress it one way or the other.

      We both have it since 2013 so that is not that long. And you are just like me in a way....you want to have it solved and that is why we cannot let go when others can. My wife has loud T ....she couldn't care less. She said yesterday...."The longer I listen for it the harder it gets ....and it's damn loud now". But she can block it within a second and it is gone. Because for her it is not important. My stupid brain makes it important so I try to find things that realy keep my mind of it. When I was in a depression ....i did not think of my T the whole day....I could care less because the other symptoms felt much worse.

      So I know your brain can block it because in that period I also could hardly hear it.
      But today is easy talk for me, but I know that it can be like yesterday morning and I will go in full panicmode again even if I do not want to.....but remember we are here for eachother. If you want to talk or anything just PM me !!! :welcomesignanimation:
       
    23. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      @Martin69 Well just had a panic moment....well nobody is perfect...it has settled again....but still my whole body went in panicmode
       
    24. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      Rico, I spoke with many people having T. One had anxiety 24/7 for 2.5 years. He took Xanax from time to time.
      Yesterday spoke with someone who has T for long time. First two years were very, very difficult.
      I know people where it took 3-5 years. Billie48 took 3 years.
      I read on www.tinnitus.org that Jacqui Sheldrake writes: Once we lose anxiety and fear, T will diminish.
      Yes, I still struggle a lot like you. But I am sure one day we ignore it like your wife and many others do.
      And one day, the volume will drop and we will happy again.
       
    25. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      I believe that for sure that we will and my normal T I'm used to ...and sometimes happy if it is only that, but for me this random electric zaps ....are hard to accept... I just went in panicmode... It like you open a can of cola and put your ear to listen to the bubbles or something like that...it is very low volume but it cannot be masked it cuts through everything...it is so weird :dunno:
       
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