Newbie with Hope

Hey everyone, my names Michael.
I'm a 22 year old that has entered the world of no silence about 6 weeks ago. One day vertigo hit my like a brick wall, and was nauseous and unbalanced for several days. By the third day of dizziness I had noticed a faint high pitched ringing/buzzing in my right ear. Fast forward a couple of days later, the ringing grew louder and my ear had the feeling of being filled with liquid. Turns out there was no liquid but I had came down with labrynthitis, the infection of the inner ear. My doctor had told me that he would be surprised if the ringing and vertigo lasted for a week. So I was happy knowing that my symptoms would go away within days. Well a week goes by and the vertigo subsides, but the thing is the annoying dog whistle ringing/hissing STAYED. By this point I became very concerned and returned to the doctor, where he told me that the ringing in the ear could be permanent. When he said those words my stomach collapsed and the feeling of doom came at me with full force.
Well now it has been 6 weeks since onset, and what a month of a half of hell it has been. My anxiety has been through the roof, I've been sleeping no more that 4 hours every night, and I had lost 10 pounds within this time. The thought of hearing this ringing forever has been devastating to me, and my friends and family can see it as well.
My tinnitus is very hard to mask because it is so high pitched, the closest thing I can get to mask it are cricket sounds. The positive side is that I do not notice it in the shower or when I am driving my car with the windows down, but those seem to be the only places of relief. It seems me by reading posts on this website that the higher pitched the tinnitus is, the harder it is to habituate. This gets me VERY anxious but I have hope and I'm taking one day at a time. Hoping that one day I can get back to my old life of being happy and free. Sorry if my post is sounding negative, it is just extremely stressful at this time. Wish I could catch some Zzzzz too .
Sorry if its a long intro Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

 

Well my friend, you are young and everyday progress are made, so maybe one of this days all of us could get rid of it. In a few time I will be celebrating 20 year's of T, and I still here, so as you can see people can live with it and have a life. High pitch his really boring but it's most part of the cases, because high frequency is normally the first thing you lost.

 

Hi Michael, I am so sorry that you're going through this time. I know the feeling of doom very well, but it will not necessarily last forever.

When you're reading posts around here, you have to remember that it is primarily populated by people who are having an especially hard time. Those who get better (either the T goes away or stops bothering them as much) generally go away, with a much smaller number who like to give back and spread some hope who pop in to do so. I can't remember the statistic, but I think @Markku has said at some point that the average member only sticks around for 3 months or so (correct me if I am wrong).

I have heard a lot of people say that volume and pitch play a role in the inability to habituate, and I cannot speak for everyone's tinnitus, I only know what is in my own head. However, I have seen people go from suffering horribly, with very loud, very high-pitched tinnitus, to living good, full, happy lives again. There is nothing to be gained from telling yourself that you can't habituate because of any one factor. All I'm trying to say is, you should be in your own experience and not give up hope. From what you're saying, and from reading many, many posts here over the years, I think you are going to be okay in time. Remember that you're grieving a traumatic loss and be patient with yourself.

For my part, my T was also only masked by crickets - i.e. it's high pitched, but I don't even try to mask it anymore. I can hear it clear as a bell in my room, over the little noises at work etc., but it's just part of my silence now and that's okay.

Hang in there, we're here for you, and don't give up hope!

 

Thank you very much @James Brown and @awbw8 for your replies . One thing that I am noticing is that makes me happy and is giving me hope is that sometimes every couple of days there will be an hour or two in my day where I forget about the T and start feeling like my old self again. This usually is when I am at work or keeping my mind busy. I will go to a quiet area and hear the T but it seems to have lost some volume. But within a couple of minutes it all comes buzzing back full force, especially at night time (I wake up constantly with T screaming at me ). I'm hoping this is my brain battling with habituation though, so habituation could be a possibility for me and i wont be in a miserable tinnitus hole forever

 

There is a lady on here called caff clifton. Her tinnitus started the same way as yours. Her story is in the success story's & you should read it. She struggled to begin with but was habituated within 2-3 months. She is also young xx

 

Thanks for the tip @Nic1982 . She seems to be doing very well and within a short time. I guess part of the battle is trying to get back to how you lived before the T set in and to stop acting like its the end of the world lol even though it can be a tough one.

 

In the battle with tinnitus, it is best that we try our best to think positive about things. Take the above condition as a positive because if you can do this already with barely 2 months of T, you are most likely be getting better and better. Positivity is something that can keep anxiety and stress at bay. T feeds on stress and anxiety. So if you cut off its fuel or food, it can't burn you with its fire and you will rob it of its energy to continue to perpetuate its horror show on you. Yes, people can habituate to high pitch T. I have ultra high pitch dog whistle T (and H also). A few years back, I was on my knees to these new alien monsters of my life. Anxiety and panic attacks ruled my days (and nights too as I struggled to sleep). I was in a mess and had to depend on meds just to survive. But today I live a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. Good life can be back. Don't panic and don't stress yourself out. The less stress, the better chance to habituate to T. Take good care and God bless your recovery.

 

@billie48 Thanks for the positive words. I had read your success story and find it very inspirational. Does the T still bother you when watching tv or reading, and trying to go and stay asleep? Sleep is definitely one of the most important things in life, as a lack of it amplifies negative emotions I'm finding out