Observations about Our Suffering

Discussion in 'Support' started by Kah Povi, Nov 17, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Kah Povi

      Kah Povi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New Mexico
      Tinnitus Since:
      1974
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Genetics and loud music
      I've been dipping in and out of this site since April of this year. There have been times when I felt that it was better not to participate, and then times when I felt that I had to join the voices of people who understand T's impact on our lives. I've told myself to stop looking for a cure and then I get sucked into some glowing report of a supplement or method that helps. Now I'm trying the middle road: check out a product, but don't pay extra for same day delivery! In other words, tamp down the hope and desperation responses or try to.

      I'm trying to face reality, and it's not always pretty, but it's also not always as bad as I think it is:

      1. Yes, I would give just about anything to "cure" or at least reduce my T. I want a cure. No lying to myself.

      2. So far, there is no cure.

      3. The major complication I see in my dealings with T and those of others on these forums is anxiety. Many of us, even before the T, suffered from anxiety and/or depression.

      4. There are ways to reduce anxiety and depression.

      5. The thing I see and hear about that helps the most is attitude. We have so much conditioning to have a negative attitude that doesn't help in this struggle. (I won't go into it here, but our conditioning includes family stuff, cultural stuff and the self-talk that CBT addresses.) But those who seem to have the most substantial relief have a positive outlook, about adapting to and living with T. Sometimes this comes from a kind of religious conviction, which I just don't have and probably never will unless a religious figure literally shows up in my bedroom, holds my head and stops the noises. I envy those who are believers - but I'm not on that train.

      6. Attitude adjusting takes work. There are people on these forums who have been really helpful with their own work on this. Meditation, so far, is the one thing I can count on to help me, but it takes a commitment I'm not always able to make. Hope is very important to me in terms of attitude. Whether it's delusional or not, I need hope - that there is something that I can do to reduce my suffering. But if I expect miracles, or a consistent positive result from some approach, I'm setting myself up for despair.

      7. Finally, I have to walk the fine line of not wallowing in this torment and not isolating myself from others who know what it is. The best way to do that for me so far is to minimally look at the forums about treatments and to not look at forums about despair. I feel bad about that, because some day I'd like to be at a place where I can respond to the despair and maybe help. Right now I'm not there. I have suicidal days, hopeless days, etc. I also know that though I've reached out to people for help, it's up to me to figure out what works for me. Wallowing doesn't work and isolation doesn't work either.

      This is hard but we're not isolated.
       
      • Like Like x 6
      • Agree Agree x 2
    2. MarioT
      No Mood

      MarioT Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress + SSRI medication
      • Like Like x 1
    3. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      East Coast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      1998
      Great post. I completely agree.

      As an American, coming to terms with tinnitus and other health problems seemed to completely fly in the face of the comfortable, on-demand, ego-oriented life that I'd been taught to hallucinate myself into from birth forwards. #6 was (is) huge for me.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. Dubbyaman
      Angry

      Dubbyaman Member

      Location:
      Northern Indiana
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Excessive loud noise
      I'm sorry. Living with a noise in your head is and forever will be unacceptable! Screw you you heartless doctors. Be lucky I dont come into your office and give it to you all!!
       
    5. joseph Ghass
      Angelic

      joseph Ghass Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2015
      I dont classify T as suffering but a challenge to overcome.
       
    6. Kah Povi

      Kah Povi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New Mexico
      Tinnitus Since:
      1974
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Genetics and loud music
      Well, yes -- it's a challenge to overcome. Many days I'm a warrior, but I do suffer. I get into fight or flight mode, crying or enraged. Over and over again I pull myself up and get on with my day, but often I come back to a dark and scary response to the noises I hear. I often feel very much like a failure -- unable to overcome the challenge.
       
    7. joseph Ghass
      Angelic

      joseph Ghass Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2015
      I consider spikes as a part of the recovery process. Yes your sympathic nervous system will go wild some days but that doesnt mean you cant activate your parasympathetic ns to bring back balance.

      follow my 4 pillars to beat T and u will be on the right road for recovery
       
    8. Dubbyaman
      Angry

      Dubbyaman Member

      Location:
      Northern Indiana
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Excessive loud noise
      Kah Povi How old were you back then when you first developed it? Did you know what it was before hand i, e were you even aware that loud noise could cause it?
       
    9. Kah Povi

      Kah Povi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New Mexico
      Tinnitus Since:
      1974
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Genetics and loud music
      I've gotta ask -- what are the four pillars?

      Okay -- never mind -- I found your list in another post. Looks interesting -- I was on the Atkins diet many years ago, which sounds similar.
       
    10. Kah Povi

      Kah Povi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New Mexico
      Tinnitus Since:
      1974
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Genetics and loud music
      I'm not sure how long I've had tinnitus. I think I first noticed it some time in my 20's. That was over 40 years ago. But I barely noticed it. I just knew I had it. A spike last March brought it to the forefront and it's been blaring ever since then -- on and off, lately more on.

      I wasn't aware that loud noises could cause it because I didn't even have a name for T, but I had some vague notion that loud noises weren't healthy. However, I was part of the 60's, which means I went to a lot of crazy loud concerts, one in particular I remember hurting my left ear.

      All my family has tinnitus; it's definitely genetic to some extent. We also all have some hearing loss as we've aged. We also all have anxiety problems. But there's also a history of ear infections, medications for anxiety, etc. Who knows? I can't take back the causes. I no longer seek any help from doctors. I got hearing aids for mild hearing loss hoping it would help and it didn't. I even wonder if they made the T worse. Who knows? I think the more I try to figure it out, the more despair I experience. It's hard to stop the thought process. But that's the one thing I think would truly help. I just don't know how or if I can do that. My thought process is as constant and persistent as the T noises, it seems.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    11. rooster
      Fine

      rooster Member

      Location:
      Calgary Alberta Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2011
      THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGING POST. I took cognitive behavior therapy this summer and I responded well to it. Then one day this fall out of the blue the OTHER ear started up and now I have suffering and anxiety. i trying to come up with a plan for coping with it. This site offers one some hope.
       
      • Like Like x 1

Share This Page

Loading...
If you have ringing ears then you've come to the right place. We are a friendly tinnitus support board, dedicated to helping you discuss and understand what tinnitus treatments may work for you.