I don’t know what caused my tinnitus. It started with a pain in my ear, I put my finger in to have a rummage about and when I pulled it out I must have created a vacuum which in turn increased the pain to level 5000. The pain quickly subsided to just a dull ache which carried on for a couple of days. I've had my ears syringed in the past and I thought maybe I needed it done again. The first time I had it done the doctor told me to put olive oil drips in my ear for a week prior in order to soften the wax. So I thought I would try that for a couple of days. I filled up my left ear with olive oil and went to work and forgot about it. Suddenly a loud ringing started which carried on for hours! I started to panic and booked an appointment with an ENT but they couldn't see me for two weeks. So I booked that appointment but also went to a clinic that evening and paid for a specialist to take a look. They saw a huge bit of wax was sitting on my eardrum so used microsuction to extract it and instantly the ringing stopped. The next night I had a panic attack (I had recently just quit a 10 year addiction to drugs, sorry should have mentioned that) and in the midst of it (my panic attack) my ear started ringing again. This time the pitch was so high it scared the s**t out of me. The pitch was shifting up and down as was the volume. It wasn't really that loud but it seemed to fill my entire head and it was violent! Needless to say I had a complete meltdown. This carried on for days and I read nothing but horror stories online. It was awful. I started thinking there would be no hope of having a normal life. Proper gutted. The best it seemed I could hope for is I would "habituate". The thing was my tinnitus was constantly changing in pitch and volume. It would go from fairly mild to insanely viscous like it hated me and wanted me to go completely mad - which I wasn't far from going, partly because of the drugs and alcohol I was withdrawing from and the fact I couldn't sleep. If I’m scaring anyone don't worry it gets BETTER! Anyway, I’m going to skip through the next month or so quite quick. I saw an ENT, a Harley street doctor, my GP, a psychiatrist and a neurologist. Not all for the ringing... I went through days of being convinced I had all sorts of illnesses. I had trembling hands, aching legs, aching arms, aching back, aching jaw, muscle cramps, muscle twitches. I was a complete STATE! All the doctors I saw said the same thing.. I had no hearing loss and no visible damage to my ear and the ringing would “probably” stop within a year. I was diagnosed with sever pathological anxiety – which I was happy about! Once I got this diagnosis I think this is where I started to get a bit better. First I downloaded white noise apps on my phone. I used these, as well as Youtube nature sounds and tinnitus masking videos, to mask the ringing at night so i could sleep. I also used the app on my phone at work. I work at a desk so I propped my phone up and played white noise throughout the day just loud enough to mask to tinnitus but quiet enough so as not to disturb my colleagues. Then I came across Julian Cowan Hill's videos on Youtube and these changed everything! He had tinnitus for 16 years and cured himself - twice! Once from stress induced T and then years later from noise induced. I found his videos so relaxing! Look him up! For the first time in months i felt hope. I began seeing Julian for therapy and every session my T would lower in volume. Sometimes just listening to him explains the nature of tinnitus would seemingly lower the volume or at least the aggression of it. I kept up the therapy for as long as I could, but then Christmas came around and this is where it all changed. I decided to take a holiday. I got out of London, away from my job, my routine and stress and now armed with my white noise apps (for when things got tough) and the understanding and hope that Julian had given me I slowly started to habituate! I couldn't believe it at first. My brain had always seen the ringing as a threat and had me in high alert mode but now it began to ignore it. It’s a very strange feeling. There's this annoying ringing going on in my ear, changing in pitch and aggression and I don't s**t. Then I started noticing hours would go by without it popping up in my mind at all. Then a whole day would go by. I would notice it at night but I was so used to sleeping with the nature sounds or white noise it didn't bother me at all. Eventually I would have times when I couldn't hear it at all! So I would close all the windows and block my ears and listen and there it was! Perhaps it was there all the time and I was blocking it out? I want all newbies to take note here... I think it’s still there most of the time but it doesn’t bother me AT ALL!. When I’m in a silent room sometimes I listen in amazement to it doing its worse and I’m still surprised that I don't care about it in the least... 90% of the time I’m not even thinking about it. 5% of time it pops in and pops out of my mind and the other 5% I put on my white noise app and mask it At first the sound seemed to fill my whole head and would shoot waves of anxiety through me and now it sounds like it only takes up a small space in my left ear. It’s no longer a threat and serves as a reminder to appreciate my health and the good times. That's it. Sorry it was quite long. I promised myself if it ever went away I would come on here and tell this long story so as to help any newbies through the bad times at the beginning. Well, it hasn't gone but it might as well have because I’m over it! One last thing, I mentioned it to my mum recently and she says she has the same thing! But it never bothered her. And my mate has got noise induced tinnitus and he's not bothered by it anymore (although he was for quite a while) and my mate at work said he HAD it for years but it slowly faded away - so maybe it will go one day? Whatever though, like I said - I couldn't care less. Time Frame 7th Sep – T started – I freaked out Mid Nov – Found Julian on Youtube - started to relax Late Dec – T stopped bothering me Mid Jan – Hardly ever thought about it Mid Feb – Not even aware of it and sometimes go looking for it out of curiosity to check if it’s there or not. Most times it is.
Sorry I just noticed a typo. I meant to write "I don't give a s**t" but instead I wrote "I don't s**t" I just want everyone to know i do still definitely s**t. Regards D
Thank God, it's one thing to have T but being constipated with T is even worse Great story though bro, I'm happy for you, I wish I lived near London so I could visit Julian sometime even if it's just to speak with him and pick his brain, his videos were my only shimmer of light in the very early onset. Hope to join you and the habituation club soon as well!
You got your T the same day as me but mine still drives me nuts. Noticed I can deal quite well on the quieter days. How loud is yours eg if you think about it can you hear it if next to a road with cars Congrats btw! That was a good habituation story. Re your colleague who had it actually go away-I am on groups for other health issues and you do sometimes see ppl say they had it for a few years and it went
He does Skype sessions! Half the sessions were just talking and it was fantastic speaking with someone that really gets it.
It's never been that loud really but I could hear it over traffic sometimes because the pitch was/is so high and therefore it was noticble amongst other loud sounds. For some reason lack of sleep effects mine quite a bit. It turns into the sound of crickets and I can almost feel it in the back of my throat. Hard to explain. I know it's so much easier to say then to do but I only started habitation when I stopped worrying, thinking/reading about it. Julian helped with that a lot. I banned myself from talking or reading about T and only discussed it in my therapy sessions. I found this helped mask it at night when I couldnt sleep. I sometimes still listen to it! 8Hr TINNITUS SOUND THERAPY #5-TINNITUS MASKING...Watch this video on YouTube
Thank you for sharing this!! I wish you continuous luck and happiness. It's post's like yours and people like you that give me hope. Thank you!
Yeah I've seen that, was already thinking of booking a session with him next month, would be nice to speak with him in person, I've read his book as well. I'm doing pretty good lately though, now four months in and over most of the initial anxiety. Getting out of the house and back on track with life (and not on tinnitus forums or speaking about it every 10 minutes) is the only ''cure'' and path to habituation, I actually notice my T less when I've had a busy day and am confident in time it will be pushed even further into the background. I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to speak with some people who already went through the process and most of them say they don't even hear their T anymore unless they purposely look for it (which obviously they don't do anymore since it's not an issue to them), this gives me a lot of confidence to push through, time will heal if you let it. Again great story bro, I'm happy for you! I'm sure your T will fade from perception in due time as well.
Yeah where would I get that idea ... Anyway if you want to spend c.a. $80 bucks on telling someone you think he is a fraud then by all means: https://juliancowanhill.co.uk/online-payment/ Maybe you'll actually gain some positive insights for a change though, so go for it.
It's a therapy session, pretty standard price for psychotherapy. His videos are free though, his book is $11,- so not that expensive either. But here is the thing ... Nobody but YOU can make habituation happen, no therapy in the world will do this for you. But if you want to be on TT for the next 15 years who am I to tell you otherwise.
Daniel, You said you heard it over traffic in the beginning. Do you still hear it and don't care? or do you just not hear it? I wonder when someone habituates, it's the former or latter. If it's the latter, maybe it's more because the volume has gone done enough that it become not noticeable, rather than due to habituation? Like yours, my T is probably low in volume but I can hear it above many sounds maybe because of its pitch. But I found that my brain appears to tune out my T very well when I'm doing certain things, such as household chores or eating. However, when I'm watching TV, I can hear my T clearly. Daiso
I wonder this too. I can't tell if my T is low or loud compared to everyone else. I guess it doesn't really matter, it's more of a how much does it bother you/interfere with your day to day life. I can hear mine over almost everything, but I think it's low in volume. Just like you, I think its the pitch that makes me hear it. If i'm out and about, I don't hear it as much. This is especially true if I'm in conversation. Curious to know how this habituation thing works. I'm about 5 months in now, and wondering what steps if any, I can take to help my brain along its way.
I think it has lowerred in volume for the most part. However, as I've been writing about it on here I'm hearing it again more frequently, which again drives home the need to get away from these sites. Mine only started getting better when I went on holiday and got away from the internet. When I came back it was Christmas and I had people around me all the time and was too busy to think about it. During this time i did still use my white noise apps on my phone and slowly I think my brain stopped perceiving the noise as threat. Before the noise had a direct link to my emotions and would cause this underlying feeling of dread and anxiety but now it doesn't at all. As I'm hearing it more since coming on this site again its pissing me off the same as adverts on TV do. I think "this bloody ringing is doing my head in today" but that's all it is is, just the thought - there's no attached emotion and this makes it so much easier to get distracted by something else and then the noise fades away into a sort of background thought. Last thing, don't be disheartened by the stories you hear online of people suffering for years with it. For the most part the only people that hang around these forums are the people that are suffering (to some extent). The vast majority of people don't write on forums, ever, about anything! They're too busy living out their lives to think to go and write that they had T and its gone or the have it and they aren't bothered by it. I've only done it because I was inspired by other people in this thread and promised myslef I would come back and post a success story if I could. D
I agree 100% about people not posting. I only come here to post to see what I can do to help other people, and learn some things for myself along the way. Excellent post though, thank you! Glad to "hear" things are getting better for you and that you are able to tune out the sound. I just had my very first night of COMPLETE silence last night. But of course it's come back the second I started doing stuff. I consider this progress, so as the saying goes, one day at a time. Hoping it just gets better over time.
Nothing wrong with a bit of a moan and groan. We all need to express how we feel. The first stage of any ailment is scary and we all need to cry sometimes. Later however, we have to want to help ourselves. If we aren’t willing to help ourselves we just become a drain on our friends and family. Persistent depression can lead to a similar negative feedback loop as those who suffer tinnitus long term. I have had a few bouts of severe depression in my life, I do see some similarities. Actually, I believe any ailment has the potential of ending up in a negative spiral, including pain. When I first got tinnitus, a friend of mine who was studying new age treatments, asked me, do you want to get better? I thought that was a really strange question at the time, but I did have to think about it before answering! Why didn’t I just say “Of course I want to get better”? Just recently I made some notes as to why some people at certain times in their lives might NOT want to get better. I can see some of this in my past too. so in no way am I trying to judge anyone. I’m sure there are many more. Sympathy. Poor me syndrome. They enjoy the sympathy of those who care for them. Control. They enjoy the control they have over those who care for them. Excuse. The ailment gives them an excuse to avoid doing things they don't want to do. Dependency. Some may cling onto the ailment to justify it’s cause or for some guilt based reason. Some may cling onto the ailment to justify financial gain (e.g social benefits). The danger of these traits to those around them who care.... Wasted time and effort trying to help those who don't want to help themselves. Projection of their ailment on to the carer. Apparently even tinnitus has been known to be projected on to well meaning caring people. (just goes to show why tinnitus might be 90% psychological!)
