Planning Life with Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Support' started by Marlino, Nov 17, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Marlino
      Cowboy

      Marlino Member Team Research

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      From another thread...
      -------

      @Mentos
      I know from your recent posts that you are in a relationship and plan to have kids. I'm in the same situation but constantly feeling so desperately trapped in my t head, that I'm wondering if I can go this way.

      Living day by day and plan for the future doesn't fit together.

      What to do about it?
       
    2. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      If a person has intrusive tinnitus or it fluctuates a lot in intensity, then it isn't easy planning for the future. It can even be harder if one is unable to work because of the condition. Under all these circumstances, having an understanding partner is absolutely crucial, if one is to make big decisions such as starting a family, as things can go drastically wrong fast.
      Michael
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    3. Marlino
      Cowboy

      Marlino Member Team Research

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      @Michael Leigh
      This is a very honest input, especially since I know you usually being very positive. I can work. But I don't know if I would dare to change my job or apply for a new one if the current is lost.

      Also I have to excuse myself to my girlfriend about 20% of my days to be emotional affected (exhausted) by t.

      I just think a demanding kid might be too much.
       
    4. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      I am 27 and the idea lf having kids is a no no for me now. Having t is like having a misbehabing kid already and mine isn't even that loud.
       
    5. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      I know exactly where you are coming from Marlino for I have been there. I don't like to talk too much about my private life as this is a public forum. As you know I was medically retired from my job because of my tinnitus many years ago, so I am careful who I get involved with.
      Michael
       
    6. Marlino
      Cowboy

      Marlino Member Team Research

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      On my bad days I would appreciate to be as well. But it's last resort and doesn't make anything of the underlying problem better.
       
    7. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      You are doing well and I hope that things don't get too tough for you.
       
    8. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      You wouldn't want my tinnitus then Sam. As I type my tinnitus is quite loud and I'm wearing white noise generators but I'm okay....:)
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    9. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      Very true Michael. I think mine is the on the boderline between highly mild/low moderate if that makes sense. In my right ear only, sometimes i focus ony left ear and the pure silence that is experienced on that side.
       
    10. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      Try to see that it doesn't get any worse Sam believe me you wouldn't want what I've been having for the last 24hrs. I might have to take clonazepam if it gets worse....
      Michael
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    11. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      I am doing my best there. No more headphones, haven't been to a concert for 8 months and am planning on taking all of 2017 off from them to see if anything changes. The loudest part of my day is being on the tube for ten minutes, on the louder parts of that journey i cover my ears.

      I hope yours calms down soon.
       
    12. Jason C

      Jason C Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      29 May 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Burgler Alarm
      Sam how did you acquire your T??
       
    13. Sam Bridge

      Sam Bridge Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music/gigs probably
      Probably a combination of having been to many concerts/headphone use.
       
    14. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      @Sam Bridge Thank you. Sam, you can go out to nightclubs you know don't let tinnitus rule your life. As long as you are careful go out and have a good time. Use noise reducing earplugs and if the environment is getting too loud leave. Life is for living but just be careful.
       
    15. stophiss

      stophiss Member

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      too full a life
      In 2020 or in about 3 years from now, the cure for tinnitus will be available and procreation of the species will resume with T suffers. Or...previous T suffers will appreciate their new found freedom from the demon known as T and decide to live life larger without kids.;)

      Seriously, there has to be help on the horizon. So many young people here with T. If a cochlea can be implanted and a probe placed on the head and noise known as tinnitus thwarted with preliminary trials...then at some point there will be a protocol where the sound of T will be extinguished by tweaking the aberrant neural pathways that took over our head that has given us this scourge.
       
    16. Marlino
      Cowboy

      Marlino Member Team Research

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      No logical reasoning here. ;)
      I guess here it come to the mercy of god question again.

      But lets come back to the original question:
      In the meantime where no relief is available, what to do?
      Try it to live normal family life and risk to overstrain yourself? Pondering the probability of being able to be a good father?
      Is this thinking already insane, since people used to get kids in even worse situations?
       
    17. Samantha R

      Samantha R Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geelong Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Well, I am mum to a 2 year old and 5 month old twins - who were a month old when I got my tinnitus.
      It's been hard, and I am also the breadwinner in my house so will have to go back to work in a few months. The thought of that is very daunting.
      I don't want tinnitus to stop me from being the best mother and wife I can be, but sometimes it is very hard.
      At the moment, my kids are young and they don't pick up on my distress, thank goodness.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    18. stophiss

      stophiss Member

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      too full a life
      I really think it depends on the person. There is no universal truth about who makes a good parent with T or without T. Raising a child is also about economics. And of course the relationship with having tinnitus and holding a good job and providing for a family. It isn't easy today if perfectly healthy, going to a good school and being on the right career path. Can an extraordinary person raise a kid with T? Sure. Probably hundreds of thousands do it everyday. If you ask the question, you may have doubts. Whether you work through that or not probably depends on your temperament, how intrusive your T is and what kind of prep you have done in your life to get the kind of job that can provide for a family...or marry rich. :)
       
    19. Jomo

      Jomo Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      9/4/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      going for a rim shot on the snare drum.
      I have the same things to think about eventually..wont let it stop me...on funny note i play the lotto almost every day and tell myself if im lucky to get this hell of a condition im due for some good fortune lol
       
    20. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      My T is mild and even though I do not manage very good in terms of anxiety, I do pretty ok when it comes to how I function on a daily basis, work included. I decided not to give up any plans due to T. My wife has T too, stronger than mine she manages it very well and it's our common decision to live normal life, including having kids. What I said about living day by day is related to T only, i try not to think what life was prior to T, and on the other hand not to think about having to live with it for the next 40 years
      So in this respect I don't see a contradiction in living day by day with T, and planning to have a family at the same time.
       
    21. Mentos

      Mentos Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Mo
      Moeover I do really hope for a cure or some effective treatment in the future, hence I don't want to give up my life plans and than wake-up one day free of tinnitus regretting that I gave -up my life plans.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Agree Agree x 1

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