Relapse

Hi everyone.

This is a post I wish I never had to make, as I am sadly going through a (self inflicted) relapse.

2 weeks ago I really stupidly found myself at a rock concert and realised I had no hearing protection with me. As it was a Friday night, my friends birthday and all was having a good time, I decided to stay when I should have left.

My tinnitus has not fully calmed down back to its old level and I find myself back in my early onset days where I just cannot get my mind off the beast in my head. My anxiety levels have gone through the roof the last few days as my T seems very oppressive again like it was in the early days. This is leading to the catastrophic thinking and depression i'm sure we all know so well.

I'm very angry with myself. I should have known better. Over a year of having achieved habituation with my tinnitus I guess I forgot what it was like to suffer with this condition and now I am back there due to one drunken decision.

Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be great at the moment as I'm feeling very low.

Thank you.

 

Eldudebro - please be gentle with yourself and treat yourself to a few days in a row of self-loving activities - whatever makes you happiest and helps you connect with the real inner you - so that it counterbalances the negative feelings which are NOT you but are the reaction to the tinnitus. That's first, so that your nervous system gets better messages from your mind/body. And throughout all these days, please have a higher faith coming down from your higher self that keeps on reminding you that you succeeded once with this so you DO have the ability to ride with this and succeed again. Sending support!

 

after 2 weeks if you have major hair cell damage the nerves would be hit by then - there is a time delay according to the famous "adding insult to injury" study, and my own two experiences with accoustic trauma...when you start noticing hearing loss and H in a delayed manner a week or two later are peaks
If you haven't got H and noticeable Loss by 2 weeks that means that the inner ear damage was minimal and T should go down to baseline eventually or close to it.

I would be a lot more worried by an increase in H rather than T alone.

 

@Bobby B I've never experienced hyperacusis since I picked up T thankfully, and I don't seem to have any symptoms of it now, just the ringing. After the concert I had a slight muffled feeling in my ear and increased ringing. The muffled feeling wore off after about an hour and the ringing began to lower but it's not back to my baseline sadly. As my mind is constantly on it it's just exacerbating the situation now.

@Path Maker Thank you for the kind words. I am trying to keep myself as distracted as possible, it helps I have exams in a few weeks so I am throwing myself into that with masking sounds around me.

This just hammers home to me again that his condition really is "for life". Makes me worry that even when I get over this relapse there are bound to be more in future....

 

Might be worth trying prednisalone if your doctor will prescribe it.
Try stay calm and lots of nice treats to lift your mood.
Don't beat yourself up about going to the concert and hope over the next few days your tinnitus will settle .
Try not let anxiety take hold and do what you can lift your mood as the unwanted emotions with tinnitus can soon send you on a downward spiral so try keep sound on around you and stay positive..lots of love glynis

 

eldudebro - Yes, my view is that whether it fades or not, it is for "life."

But then, life is also for "life." And can really only be lived one day at a time.

Before a medical thing hits us and makes us look this square in the face, the phrase "one day at a time" is something most of us tend to gloss over. We go through our days with thoughts of the past and thoughts of the future, and are all go go go, race race race, etc.

When a crisis like this hits, it FORCES us to stop and deal with it. And then, to really really really realize that yes, "life" IS really only ... ONE ... DAY ... at ... a ... time.

So yeah, the tinnitus is for "life" (and even if it fades, the chance of relapse is for "life"). But since "life" is really only ... TODAY ... then all we need to deal with is ... T O D A Y.

For me, that means that even if I now have to carry and use earplugs everywhere, and avoid or minimize the impact of loud things (even the vacuum and the lawn mower), well, then, so be it. I still value my working legs, my working brain, my blessings, etc. Just means I have a dustier house since I'm not vacuuming as much , but I have a carpet sweeper on order, so go figure! Back to cleaning the house like my grandmother's generation did!

I was at a party once where I met a Navy S.E.A.L. and he shared with me one of the key phrases the SEALS operate by: Adapt. Improvise. Overcome.

Good philosophy for tinnitus, and for life in general. Take it by the horns and overcome.

I wish you all the BEST. Just have earplugs along for all the fun.

 

@glynis Thank you for the kind words. I have no doubt the high stress I am feeling is feeding the tinnitus. I remember well the bad days of my initial onset and constant stress, i could hear my T everywhere. Once I managed to calm myself the intrusiveness of the T dropped off and I wasn't aware of it most the time. Fingers crossed this happens again.

@Path Maker Everything you say makes sense. This past year where I was habituated to my T flew by with no concerns, now my condition has worsened it does seem i'm living "day by day" I just fear I have many years for the condition to deteriorate further (I'm 35), so I really need to live a quieter life.

 

Hey, dudebro, here's hoping you have many years for the condition to stabilize or even improve, and lots of good living during all those years.

 

Ye ams not alone.
Everyone makes this mistake. Part of having T/H etc.
Accept the mistake as a lesson to ALWAYS have hearing protection handy and try your best to stop obsessing about it.
You are not being punished..
At some point in the near future you will very likely be back to where you were before..

 

@jeanaroid

I sure hope so. I managed not to get panicked over it for the last two weeks but last night and today all the stress came back and it just seemed so much more invasive.

 

Relapse? This is not an addiction, it is an affliction. One either has Tinnitus or they don't. There are many catalysts that contribute to daily, weekly, or monthly spikes in severity. Regardless, it's still there, somewhere in the background. How one copes with it on a daily, weekly basis is what matters.

 

How's the T now?