Relationships Are Crucial

We suffer so much - there is no question about it!

I have to say, I personally would not make it, would choose NOT to make it, without both my human connections and my animal connections.

My lovely wife, my wonderful family, my adorable critters, are all crucial to me.
They provide not only company, but also a reason for me to go on with my life.

As you have said several times @Bam , you suffer and live to see your beautiful ‘boys’ face looking at you first thing in the morning.

I know that I am very lucky to have a truly lovely wife, a highly intuitive person, who, after some gentle discussions with me, began to realise and believe the extent of the suffering.
Not just my words, but the pain etched on my face told the true story.
She recognised my pain for herself.

RELATIONSHIPS are simply the most important aspects of life.
Without them - well - why bother to live?

The members I feel most sorry for are the lovely people on here who’s wretched partners refuse to see this genuine suffering for what it is.
Several ladies have told me that their husbands shrug them off, give them the cold shoulder, neglect them, give them a really hard time if they ever dare to mention their tinnitus.

There is absolutely no excuse for this.
I despise this attitude.
I despise these people.
People are suffering in hell.
A hell you would not, and could not, believe.

For Christ’s sake - or whoever you happen to believe in:
HELP TO LOVE THEM BETTER
THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE.
LOVE THEM - OR YOU COULD LOSE THEM!
It seems that once their partners got damaged, their love for them evaporated.

I am still here for myself, and for my family, providing I live within love and respect.

I really should say that I am no longer at my worst.
I have managed to get my “chuckle” back.
You could easily meet me now I think, and not know.
My tinnitus has not changed.
It is no quieter.
I have been robbed of my silence, artistry, skill, career, income, professional standing in the jazz world etc.... the list goes on....

But I seem to be coping better.
I seem to have a better acceptance of the inevitable, however disappointing that is.
It took me a long time, and I do feel that my deep relaxation and my meditation have helped me.

Finally, I wish that every struggling partner would show this post to their other half, and help them to realise that those suffering with severe tinnitus absolutely need their love and support. They deserve that.

They can learn to cope, if you will only help them.
You just need to love them, and be patient with them, while they make their slow progress back to a better place.

Dave x

 

very true. I've burned some bridges with some of my family members and I regret it immensely.

 

Some folks do not have families and lots of friends around us, so we make the best of it. What is CRUCIAL is how we act and re-act to the tinnitus and how we LIVE our lives and make them as productive as possible. Families, friends, pets are great, but in the end of the day....If we don't march forward and take those baby steps to daily actions/goals, then all of that makes no difference.

 

It takes immense suffering and total loss of hope to kill of the link with those you love forever. That realisation and truth just goes to show the huge depths of despair tinnitus causes that countless people each year to abandon all hope and say goodbye forever to all they know and love because of the torment of this ‘symptom’.

You all have my deepest sympathies and I really really hope that anyone developing treatments and cures for this realises - in the words of 90’s dance act Snap- that this thing is as serious as cancer.

So you can stop arsing about doing trials and double blind whatever’s, get a bloody shuffle on and do everything in your power to get help in to our hands, tongues, necks, ears, and however else you can think to bloody save us, right NOW!.....Just make it happen! It’s 2019 for shits sake. Let’s kill tinnitus forever already. Let’s make sure nobody hears noises in their heads ever again.

And yes I’m talking to you lot over at neuromod and you Susan Shore and you guys at frequency therapeutics and you Rauscheker and Thanos. Time to put down the ouzo and fire up the Bunsen burners and get busy in that lab my Greek friend. You don’t have any money?!! Join the club. Improvise. We have to do that every single day in every aspect of our lives. Once you find a cure you’ll be richer than Bill Gates and more loved than Mother Theresa. That should be all the incentive you need. So go for it!

And you guys at the BTA and ATA it’s time to give up all the old thinking and antiquated bull. It’s mission to f***ing mars time. So let’s ditch the crappy old unreliable car that doesn’t start and let’s get ourselves a shiny new rocket ship!

@David lets get the office buzzing and prod these people and remind them that this shit still needs curing. We have money. One thing Neuromod has proved is that we are all desperate to fly from all over the world and throw cash at anyone and anything that cures us. Not plasters over our misery. Not masks the noise and the suffering momentarily. Not targets the depression this noise causes. Or dulls our brains in to a stupour. That whole game is up. We’re all smarter than that now. We want our freedom back. We don’t want to stare through the bars of our cage imagining what it would be like to be free. We want to walk on the grass in our bare feet and dance in the rain.

We’re sick of feeling desperate, or lying awake at night anxious, contemplating suicide, worrying about what our futures hold, scared to have a relationship in case we get rejected because of our ‘disability’, scared to go out to a bar or restaurant, scared to have kids and scared to leave the house in case an alarm goes off or an ambulance passes by.

We’re sick of hiding our tears from our partners and children and yes some of us are literally murdering ourselves in desperation and despair and it’s not right when it’s nearly 2020.

So please all of you people who have the intellect and money to save us. Let’s make it happen. We deserve it. A lot of us are smart, loving, wonderful people that have so much to offer the world. And the world needs us and deserves us at our best again so come on! Lets.....GET A F***ING MOVE ON!

.......Happy new year and all that too. xx

 

Well said - my man !!

 

Wow!!!!!!! Standing ovation for you @Bam, yet another masterpiece from you!!!!!!! Spot on and I hope to god 2019 brings us all a step closer to what once resembled our previous life!!!!! ALL THE VERY BEST for 2019, maybe this will be the breakthrough year?! Xx

 

Genius just pure genius... You have a way with words @Bam. 2019 is the year to make it happen... Wishing everyone a quieter and more positive New Year!

 

Are you demanding that strangers do stuff to benefit you, for free?

 

If I were one of those people, my response to the above would have been:

"Let me propose this ...................................... No."

 

@Jazzer, why don't you go get some musician earplugs and go stand in the street and blast some awesome jazz?

 

What they’re gonna cure T and make no money Bill?!? We’re all about to throw millions at neuromod for a device that we don’t even know works. You do the math on something that does.

 

If even double protection sometimes is not sufficient, the use of musician's earplugs (that provide a lot less protection) has a higher chance of leading to a lot of regret.

In that case, I think convincing them that they stand to make even more than they expect to make (as opposed to explaining how much we want them to cure us) is the way to get them to invest more of their money and time into T research.

 

I kind of thought my richer than Bill Gates line conveyed that no?!?

 

what about lars ulrich?

 

Sorry, I missed that. I got outraged, and then I began to read the next paragraph. Still, the emphasis should not be on how happy a cure would make us, the emphasis ought to be on how happy being able to sell that cure to us would make them.